Sick children in nursery/school

[SocietyClowns]

You can't be ill today darling, I've got a deadline to meet

for children maxed out on calpol, from a working mother perspective when I had to do the latter. Now as a SAHM to hear of all the children throwing up in dd's class but somehow being allowed back the next day despite a 48 hour rule ('Honestly, it was just car sickness' ). Also that as a SAHM I can't take a sick day if my two bring home every bug going!

I can't get any illness past nursery, and wouldn't try it. I'm not allowed to send DD in if she's had calpol in the last 12hrs either.

DS has been to school on Calpol a couple of times for being under the weather. My mum wasn't available to help so I had to wing it, get us to school and work and hope he would be ok all day - he was. I don't send them in after a sickness bug though.

Meglet - Impressed by your nursery, but how would they police it? It's not as if they can check your dd has had calpol in the past 12 hours...

I never sent dd to nursery when she was clearly very unwell and had a temperature but had to send her in with heavy colds (which she had almost permanently in her first few months ).

society They couldn't check. But if a child becomes really ill and has a raised temp they call the parents to collect the child and ask permission to give Calpol while they wait.

Imagine if you'd dosed a child up with Calpol to get them to nursery, they became worse within a couple of hours and had to be sent home and you refused permission for more calpol (not wanting to overdose them on it) as you'd already sent them in feeling ill and dosed them up on it. I don't think nursery would be very impressed knowing you'd sent a sick child in.

So what if the parents gave baby nurofen? No problem to give calpol as well.
Not trying to be difficult here by the way, just genuinely surprised by this nursery's policy. I am all for it but can see many ways how parents might get around the rules.

I've lost jobs because I've refused to go into work when ds was sick. There's no one else to care for him and there was no way I'd send a vomiting child into nursery. I know there's a law saying you can have time off but it makes no difference when your told that you have to go in, no matter what. I'm not surprised that parents go into work.

I've had to have attendance meetings, when I've had to leave work to collect my child from school.

Three weeks prior they had had a temperature, then they had broken their wrist.

I was told by work that I was not allowed any further time off for 12 months!!!

My dd had a sickness bug last week, I'm a l.p and I haven't got anybody to watch her apart from me when she's ill. I am expecting a telling off at work but she comes first and if she is ill then obv I can't go in. Its very difficult though as work do not want me to have further time off but what can I do?all my friends/family have their own jobs so can't look after dd and ex isn't a v active role in her life so can't ask him!

It never occured to me to give baby nurofen instead. Why didn't I think of it before .

I just got into trouble today for keeping my DD off on Friday. She had a really red raw throat and a bit of a temperature.
Apparently, her absence will skew their attendance figures.

Great article.
But it's a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Sick children realy shouldn't be at school/nursery but with children sometimes you just can't tell that easily whether it's just a sniffle or the bubonic plague.

can i just say from a nursery nurse perspective which i am...a sick child/ a child under the weather etc drains the nursery of staff..as the attention is taken to one child... i couldnt count the amount of times i have had to or watched a colleague attending a child that has been brought in, dosed up and begin to go poorly throughout the day..it really is awful to see a helpless child, clearly unwell (sometimes with no temp) and want their mummy as they dont understand what is happening to them...

i think it is quite selfish of the parents to do this to their children

also it brings all types of illnesses into nursery, staff and other children contract them...may i say whilst parents still pay fees whilst their children are sick..nursery workers get no pay when off sick...

sorry but as a nursery worker this subject really cranks me up

We had a child who was miserable in the baby room one day. By lunchtime he had a high temp, looked terrible and only really wanted mum. When she was called she replied "oh give him a double dose of calpol, that will do him til 5,30pm!" The supervisor said she wouldn't and he needed collected asap. Mum never spoke to the supervisor until the day the girl left and she said "Thank God you're leaving, you're crap!"

Ironically mum had another baby and completely changed and became a lovely woman.

I know someone who gets signed off sick when her children are ill as her boss is so horrible that the GP signs her off because it causes her stress.

Great article. And I am definitely one of the mothers who has sent in a sick child, not because I couldn't negotiate with work or didn't have the inclination to do a bit of nursing, but simply because I was constantly threatened by the school who kept trying to involve EWOs, SS etc. And now it's going to start in nursery, before even NT children have developed their immune system properly.

The upshot: dd's chronic condition has not been cured- that was never going to happen- but she is school refusing and failing to attend her exams because she simply cannot bring herself to believe that anyone would listen if she said she was in too much pain to carry on.

Why don't they speak to the medical profession first, to find out how many semi-serious infections a year are actually normal for a developing immune system? Why are education ministers supposed to be competent to decide this? Wouldn't immunologists be the people to ask?

cory very good point and this is where children need extra support by supplying support workers...but with saying that it is easier said than done due to funding isssues et ggrrr

My children's nursery isn't bothered about a bit of a temperature if the child is reasonably well in itself, which is a good thing as otherwise with no other family around it'd be very difficult for us.

The only things they're strict about are infectious things like chickenpox, d&v and conjunctivities.

I have been peed off to see children being sick en route to school and their parent still taking them in, my children have had d&v over and over due to this sort of thing.

Ive worked in a nursery when a child will come in at 8am and by 10:30ish they start to flag, they have clearly been dosed up on calpol and sent in, its not nice for them and of course means other children and staff get ill too.

While all of that stuff pisses me off, im also a single parent and understand the pressures, what can they do if they have to go to work and have no one else to care for their child, also if you have more than one child the illness usually does the rounds so that multiplies time off by 2-3x.

I know that does apply to couples to but at least in a couple you can spread the time off between the two of you.

Sometimes parents are damned if they do, damned if they dont.

Oh and I have only ever kept my children off school because of genuine illness....yet I have had to attend meetings with educational welfare officer to 'explain' myself.

All your experiences make me and ... you really can't win, can you. I am currently a SAHM but trying to get a job and I am already panicking how to cope with school holidays and sickness and two dc in different settings (school and nursery, so twice the exposure to bugs) and absolutely no family .

Also remember that I got cross with dd1's nursery who would NOT phone me to say dd was ill unless it really was an emergency. I had told them I wanted to know if she developed a temperature/whatever - being very pfb in wanted to swoop her up into my arms immediately. They told me they rarely ring parents because they got such an earful from some for being disturbed at work (mainly health professionals)! I felt awful for those children but if employers are coming down like a ton of brick on absence, what can you do.

my dds school say dose them with nurofen or calpol and send them in. something which i dont agree with, but her attendance since sept has not been too good, as she has had loads of nasties and i have had ltrs from school and ewo.
what do they expect when the school have that attitude as sick kids are going in and spreading it round.

What needs to happen is that parents need to have the legal right to take time off when children are ill. When so many families have both parents working, the attitude a lot of employers have is appalling. AND we should also expect that all the responsibility for a sick child does not fall on the mother. Nursery and school have phone numbers for me and dh but oddly enough, they always phone me even though dh can potentially work from home and I can't