Babies 'should sleep in mother's bed until age three' (Telegraph)

[Teaandcakeplease]

Admittedly its the Torygraph but what do you ladies make of this? Interesting.

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/children_shealth/8854674/Babies-should-sleep-in-mothers-bed-until-age-three.html

Exactly who - always the mothers!!

2 days old is a somewhat different matter from 3 years - that's quite some extrapolation!

I just checked and I have access to the full article (though haven't had time to read it yet) so PM me if you want it!

I do notice the caveat ' these preliminary results should be treated with caution', which the Telegraph article at least fails to convey. And on a quick skim through, it does seem to deal with neonates not toddlers, and the authors don't seem to be proposing any actual recommendations to parents, at this stage at least...

Actually every time I look at that Telegraph article I find another wrong/stupid/irresponsible thing. 'babies' hearts are under more stress if they are left to sleep on their own.' makes it sound like there's some risk of heart problems, which surely is not what we're talking about here. It's nothing but scaremongering.

Well, I did this. DD just moved into her own room last month and she'll be 4 next month. Her cot was always next to our bed and she could climb up to me and hug me at any time during the night. Infact, she still comes out of her bed for a hug almost every night.

Well I am in favour of co-sleeping but I find it hard to believe that not co-sleeping is going to lead to behavioural problems all that much or the schools would be full of children with behavioural difficulties - either that or parents are co-sleeping much more than we know and are keeping quiet about it.
I do think that more parents should try it though, it is lovely - especially if it is the only way you are going to get any sleep!

No way I could do that. I enjoy being with DH too much .

Its when you have three under three you are screwed.

I still co sleep with ds who is 2 and a half some of the time. A toddler bed is too small for two

Interesting thread, more from a science reporting point of view than co-sleeping or not co-sleeping.

"Just six babies in the research group had a quiet night's sleep on their own"

They were two days old, it's not really surprising.

Has he studied 3 year olds as well? Seems that article refers to 16 very young babies. I'd be interested to see more research.

I am waiting for the study that finally concludes that:

"babies of mothers who like to co-sleep and hold their babies like co-sleeping and being held a lot. Babies of mothers who prefer to sleep by themselves like to sleep alone. Babies of mothers who like routine like routine themselves. Babies of mothers who like to go with the flow like spontaneity."

Mother and babies should be in synch. They can be in synch in their mutual love of cuddling, or in their desire to make faces at each other across a room, or in their love of sleeping in the dark and quiet, or in cat-napping whilst out for a walk, or in liking to snuggle in bed together.

You do what feels right for you and your baby - it's trying to second-guess your instinct that's wrong, and in trying to dictate to others what their instinct should be.

DesertOrchid (great name, btw) Nooooo! Where is the guilt inducement/ smuggery boosting in that?

One crap study here and we've already got someone gleefully claiming that not co-sleeping damages your babies for evvvvvaaaah, no one would be able to do that with your "do what suits you" malarkey.

A question for the co-sleeping ladies (not a criticism as I am just curious) I don't have any DC's yet but just wondered where/when you find time for 'intimate relations' if you are co-sleeping?

Do you need to go to bed at the same time as your DC ie lay down with them until they drop off? Or is it simply being in mum and dads bed that they enjoy?

Thank you, what sense you speak. But as Goth says, where would the Smug Brigade be then?

But you're absolutely right, every child is different, every mother is different, every circumstance is different. Clearly a baby who doesn't settle in it's mother's bed and screams all night is not going to be aiding bonding or the mental health of the mother, which is where we found ourselves.

Co-sleeping is lovely if you can do it (and I do miss the co-sleeping cuddles that DS1 and I shared) but it's not for everyone and Leonie's claim that it will damage babies if they sleep in a cot is demented (and if this guy is claiming the same based on 2 day old babies he's an idiot too).

I co-slept with my 3 kids because it just felt right. With my last child, we co-slept until he was way past 3 and now (because of a forced house move and bedroom logistics), we are sharing a room again and he is 10

Mind you, my husband and I have recently separated so not sure I am in any position to recommend it as a family choice

I shall be printing out this article, highlighting the appropriate passages and pinning a copy on my bedroom door; until age 3, not forever and ever until you're taking up more room than your father. Dd I am looking at you. Until age 3.

Insomnia we co-sleep with DD who is 2.9 and have a 2 week old DD2 so have obviously found time for intimate relations...

DD needed/needs cuddling to sleep but once she's asleep there are plenty of places in the house to have sex.

DH also works 10 mins away and I work from home so daytimes when DD was at the childminder were also an option.

Where there's a will...

Just read article. Interesting - been co-sleeping on and off with my baby for 11 months however, I shan't be following the advice as the risk of DS rolling out of bed and damaging his head permanently is far higher than potential emotional scars / heart conditions he may have in the future.

If I understood the article correctly they haven't just got to sleep in your bed, they have to sleep on your chest - how many smug co-sleepers can claim they did that for three years? And what happens if you have more than one dc under-three? Bonkers.

My kids have come into our bed occasionally especially when bf as it was easier. Sometimes if they have a bad dream or for a cuddle. But I find it incredibly uncomfortable to have a wiggly little person in the bed. DD2 ends up horizontal and kicking me in the ribs. DH sleeps through it usually! Even if we'd had the space for a cot in our room it wouldn't work out at all. I like to do lots of things in bed other than sleep - have sex, watch TV, write, plan, eat, read, tweet. I'd do everything in bed if I could! None would be compatible with having children in there.

nice creativity kellykettle!

i found this thread really interesting as i instinctively wanted to co-sleep but was told it was dangerous so i didn't...... having said that we only had DS in our room for 6 weeks as he was soooooooo noisy that DH and I were getting no rest at all. So even if i had of started co-sleeping i don't think it would have lasted... I don't believe my DS is damaged as he gets plenty of affection in the day and like many of the other posters here I have sometimes tried to bring him in with me when he's ill or teething and he HATES it! So i think he is happier in his own room.

I am a big believer that happy mums make happy babies so you should do what is right for you, your baby, your other DCs, your DH, your whole family. Research like this is interesting to read, as is Gina Ford but at the end of the day we are all smart women who can make our own choices. (though having said that i was influenced on this by health visitor as i was a new mum with no experience of kids so maybe i should reconsider that comment!!)... Each to their own and instead of making eachother feel bad as (albeit only a few) women have done we should be supporting eachother in our own considered choices. Jeez ladies we have enough of a fight against the men and non-mums in this world, we could do with being more supportive to eachother!!!!

allhail that made me laugh.

DS won't do it - he's insisted on his own bed since he was newborn. Don't blame him, DH snores like a bear. Also, DS is singularly the wriggliest baby in the world so while I love the IDEA of snuggly nights, it's only ever resulted in bruising (me), crying (DS) and a swift return to his own bedroom.