Men Unknowingly Raising Another Man's Child

[Severin]

"Research suggests that, as cases of teenage pregnancies, sexual infidelity and multiple partners increase, 1 in 25 fathers could unknowingly be raising another man?s child.

With improvements in genetic testing, thousands of fathers every year are discovering that ?their? child is someone else?s. A study by scientists from Liverpool John Moores University concludes that 4 per cent of all men are unwittingly bringing up a child they have not fathered.

The researchers, led by Mark Bellis, of the Centre for Public Health at Liverpool, analysed a wide range of international studies, looking at estimates of paternal discrepancy between 1950 and 2004.

Their findings, published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, show that rates of cases where a father was not the biological father of his child ranged from 1 per cent in some studies to as many as 30 per cent. Experts generally agree that the rate is below 10 per cent. The Liverpool team said that their meta-analysis suggests a 4 per cent rate, meaning that about one in 25 families could be affected.

?For any father, identifying that the child they are raising as their biological progeny is actually sired by another man can have substantial health consequences,? the researchers said.

?Such knowledge can also destroy families, affecting the health of the child and mother as well as that of any man who is ultimately identified as the biological parent.?

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Bearing in mind, some of these might be genuine mistakes. But there are also many women who lie about who got them pregnant so to choose a better father figure/husband, or to hide infidelity. And at the heart of this is not just fathers who are raising someone else's child, but children who do not know their true parentage - a basic human right as far as I'm concerned. This can lead to traumatic psychological issues, and prevent them from knowing what health risks they might be genetically disposed towards - so lack of knowledge of true parentage could prove fatal for the child.

Questions -

1. If men could somehow trick a woman into raising another woman's child, how would they feel? Would they feel the man deserved punishment, even legal consequences?

1. If one if four families are affected, would you agree that compulsory DNA testing should be used on all new births? Again, imagine if it was women who were unwittingly bringing up another woman's child.

1. Do you agree that it is one of women's greatest responsibilities to be honest about whose child they are carrying, and any woman that lies about it is committing a hugely immoral act?

Well you are making excuses for treating 99% of women who know exactly who the father of their children is as liars.

HOW do you excuse that!!!???????

100%....surely not. You can only be 96% certain with women being the deceptive creatures you clearly believe them to be. And therefore you need your kids to take that test

What's the problem this way real fathers who duck out can be chased upon as well. And whilst 4% or at least below 10% seems a small percentage when your talking 4% of millions well the number is larger than you would think.

I don't think the givernment should be able to interefere in family life for non emergency reasons, so DNA testing without permission should not happen.

That said, any man who questions if he is the father of a child has the right to pop in to any Boots and by himself a DNA test. Just like any child who questions these things has the right to buy one later on (when they are old enough to digest the results) to confirm their genetic heritage.

UNderstanding your genetic back ground is important and unlike a child who is aware that they have been adopted a child who doesn't know his parentage coudl become compacement as they know their family doesn't have breast cancer, alcoholism etc)

Your summary says that children/fathers finding out causes great harm - has there been anything to show the comparative amount of harm in finding out immediately? ie after going through 9 months of a pregnancy believing the child to be his.

To what degree is knowing that X is not your father going to confer life-saving medical benefits? It doesn't mean that Y (the actual biological father) is going to be available, or even known, or that he would be any help in the case of medical need.

And, as I've said above, there will undoubtedly be harm to other children in the family.

Finally, have you given any thought to "fathers" who would genuinely prefer not to know? Ones who accept there is a possibility, but will take the child as theirs on an "honest doubt" but whose relationship with the child would be harmed by knowing for certain it was not biologically his?

Anything compulsory would remove the parents choice to not know, which is sometimes in everyone's best interests. eg in the case of rape, where the mother chooses not to have an abortion and genuinely does not know if the child is the rapist's or her husband's.

Finally, what about basic human rights legislation - we have legal protection against unwarranted interference in family life. What you are suggesting would be interference on a huge scale. What else would the state then decide it was "in our best interests" for us to know, even if we prefer not to?

Genuine question: How hard or easy is it currently for a man who suspects he is not the father to get a DNA test?

Out of the 4% that you are quoting, a substantial proportion probably would have had some doubts. This certainly will be VERY rare in couples where there are no previous concerns or problems with the relationship.

And it isn't a male vs female thing. Suppose there were a way for a man to sleep with one woman and somehow then make another woman pregnant with the first woman's child- I would still be opposed to compulsory DNA testing.

There are other wasys to tackle the issue:

1. As AF suggests, use contraception with anyone you don't feel 100% comfortable raising a child with.
2. Counselling services should be much easier to access so couples have more support to address problems.
3. Parents can try to get a DNA test if they are concerned. But obviously this shows a lack of trust in the partner that could potentially destroy the relationship anyway.

It's still low down on my list of priorities, after tackling child abuse & neglect, and known absent parents who don't accept their responsibilities.

Severin et al - how do the figures compare with men who knowingly and deliberately lose contact with their children and pay no maintenance after splitting up with the mother?

And how do the figures compare with men who father children with OW and never tell their wives.... ? If all children were made to pair up with their fathers on a mandatory basis, there would be emotional carnage.

I really don't like the idea which boils down to: some women are liars, so let's have a national DNA database.

And I think it's futile to try to make a case about a biologically impossible scenario.

Ah because the wife would unknowingly be raising the OW child? yeah not exactly a like for like example but I get the general gist. Basically there are other problems so lets ignore this because we don't like it and it's impossible to deal with problems simultaneously.

Odd statement so I am not allowed to have similar views as another person on a specific topic without somehow knowing them?

Do you go round saying that on every thread then?

"it's impossible to deal with problems simultaneously."

No, of course it's not. But putting aside all the moral implications, your idea would be a massive financial cost. Even if it were a good thing to do, the money would be far better spent elsewhere.

I suspect AuntieMonica only does it on threads where two posters who have never posted on MN before turn up at the same time, holding the same unusual point of view, and proceed to agree with each other enthusiastically. It's probably a marvellous coincidence that the two of you have found such a kindred spirit on your first foray onto Mumsnet but, as she says, she's just a suspicious person...

"Severin et al - how do the figures compare with men who knowingly and deliberately lose contact with their children and pay no maintenance after splitting up with the mother?"

Not the topic.

Severin - would you like to make some response to my attempts to debate this issue with you?

I have suggested several scenarios where it is quite clear that "the truth" would cause more harm to children and families than ignorance does.

You don't seem to have any answer to that. Nor to the questions of how far it is right for governments to interfere in the private lives of their citizens.

What's unusual with saying parents and children should know the truth of paternity?

I am not in favour of a national DNA testing scheme, but they should be done at request of the father, they are not even done on the NHS you have to pay for the service so cost isn't that much of an issue.

anyone for tennis?

""Severin et al - how do the figures compare with men who knowingly and deliberately lose contact with their children and pay no maintenance after splitting up with the mother?"

Not the topic".

Umm - yes it is. It very much is. It is a big part of the question of genetic paternity and how it relates to the later support of those children. Especially if a non-genetic parent walks away.

@AMumInScotland.... if you ever tire of posting on MN there's a career in MI5 for you. :)

A woman would never be able to be presented with another woman's child and believe it was her own unless she had been anaesthetised for nine months beforehand. Surely, however, the fact that men can & do fall for this ruse is a evolutionary asset? Pre DNA-testing, leaving aside the obvious clues of totally different features etc., a 'cuckoo' child accepted by an unwitting male would survive far better than one rejected.

Yes, "1 in 25" or "under 10 percent" are low numbers but surely the real point the OP has raised is one of honesty and trust?