Men Unknowingly Raising Another Man's Child

[Severin]

"Research suggests that, as cases of teenage pregnancies, sexual infidelity and multiple partners increase, 1 in 25 fathers could unknowingly be raising another man?s child.

With improvements in genetic testing, thousands of fathers every year are discovering that ?their? child is someone else?s. A study by scientists from Liverpool John Moores University concludes that 4 per cent of all men are unwittingly bringing up a child they have not fathered.

The researchers, led by Mark Bellis, of the Centre for Public Health at Liverpool, analysed a wide range of international studies, looking at estimates of paternal discrepancy between 1950 and 2004.

Their findings, published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, show that rates of cases where a father was not the biological father of his child ranged from 1 per cent in some studies to as many as 30 per cent. Experts generally agree that the rate is below 10 per cent. The Liverpool team said that their meta-analysis suggests a 4 per cent rate, meaning that about one in 25 families could be affected.

?For any father, identifying that the child they are raising as their biological progeny is actually sired by another man can have substantial health consequences,? the researchers said.

?Such knowledge can also destroy families, affecting the health of the child and mother as well as that of any man who is ultimately identified as the biological parent.?

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Bearing in mind, some of these might be genuine mistakes. But there are also many women who lie about who got them pregnant so to choose a better father figure/husband, or to hide infidelity. And at the heart of this is not just fathers who are raising someone else's child, but children who do not know their true parentage - a basic human right as far as I'm concerned. This can lead to traumatic psychological issues, and prevent them from knowing what health risks they might be genetically disposed towards - so lack of knowledge of true parentage could prove fatal for the child.

Questions -

1. If men could somehow trick a woman into raising another woman's child, how would they feel? Would they feel the man deserved punishment, even legal consequences?

1. If one if four families are affected, would you agree that compulsory DNA testing should be used on all new births? Again, imagine if it was women who were unwittingly bringing up another woman's child.

1. Do you agree that it is one of women's greatest responsibilities to be honest about whose child they are carrying, and any woman that lies about it is committing a hugely immoral act?

"high number of men raising other men's children" what a lod of bollocks. There is no evidence for that.

And as other people have said the problem of absentee fathers is far far greater than any figures on fathers raising other people's children unbeknownst to them.

But who would be damaged by this system?

More than would benefit from it IMHO.

It would create an atmosphere of mistrust in all families, as all women are treated as being lying hussies who can't be trusted not to shag around and pass off other men's children to get financial and other security.

You say yourself that the knowledge destroys families and damages health. What makes you think that damage will be significantly less at birth than it is later in the child's life? And what of my scenario above? Two children divided from their father, a woman pulled apart from her husband, a husband from his wife. All because a law says that they must be told this "truth" that they may not even want.

If men don't trust their women, then families are destroyed and health suffers, without any need of "proof" of infidelity. Equally when women feel unable to trust their men, the relationship is damaged with no need of medical proof.

"'Who would benefit from this system?' Read my posts please. The children who would not call someone daddy who is not - and can easily and do find out the truth later in life. And the medical issues, see above. And the 'father's who deserve to know if their children are really theirs. And the real fathers, if possible, who deserve to know they have children."

The children might lose the chance to call anyone 'Daddy'- if the man who thought he was the father decides to leave. The real father won't necessarily find out at all, if the mother doesn't cooperate. So the children may still not know about any health/ medical issues.

Yes, I think the man probably should have the chance to know the truth. But any man who suspects a problem can always push for testing anyway. And the man's 'right to know' isn't something that should lead to compulsory testing.

Oh and -

1. If a meta-study says around 4%, then please use that figure and not the highest of the studies used to generate the overall figure - that's just scaremongering.

2. your figures don't give any figures to show that this is a new issue, only that testing can prove it in a way that didn't happen in the past.

Ok, got it. You all think it's fine, nothing should be done, thousands of children should be raised by someone who is not their actual father but believe they are, and thousands of men should raise children who are not theirs. You also refuse to accept you would feel differently if the shoe was on the other foot. Thanks for your responses.

Though you do realise this means maybe 30% of you have daddies that aren't your real daddies, right?

Many families have secrets & lies. People grow up to find their 'big sister' is actually their mother, that they were adopted, that they have half-siblings in another town, or that the man they call Dad isn't their biological father. It's up to each family to decide how they deal with these secrets and some will handle it better than others, of course. To suggest that there is some kind of wholesale deception going on by women to get men to raise other people's children is to exaggerate. And therefore I don't think there should be any standard 'fix' such as DNA testing.

It can be upsetting when a secret as big as paternity gets out in the open and honesty is often the best policy for all the concerned. However, that is entirely down to the individuals in the relationship and certainly not something to be interfered with via legislation.

Why don''t you go back and re-read some of these posts? Several people said that yes, it is immoral for a woman to lie. I don't think 'it's fine'. I think couples who are going to raise a child together should be open and honest in their relationship. I think if a woman gets pregnant after a difficult time (and it's not always the woman cheating, it could be a break-up/ get back together situation) then this should be discussed.

The reality is that there will be some women who do lie deliberately, there will be some who are unsure who the father is. But it's not the government's place to get involved, certainly not with something as intrusive as compulsory testing.

If it was an issue that really concerned me, I'd be suggesting free and easy access to counselling services like Relate wherever there is a trust or confidence issue in a relatioship.

As it is, I think there are more important issues to address.

No, it doesn't mean we all think it's "fine".

We think that your proposed solution will be worse for children on average than the current situation.

I also think that you are more concerned about men's "rights" than about children's welfare.

A man - a parent's - right to know the truth is very important. But it is even more important that children aren't deceived or kept ignorant about their parentage - especially when there are so many ways they can find out later in life. That is the issue I feel most strongly about, to be clear.

"maybe 30% of you have daddies that aren't your real daddies, right?"

Again, maths isn't your strong suit... Back to your men's rights campaign group dear. And have your kids DNA tested while you're at it.

Dh is raising 'another mans child' except he doesn't see it that way. She is his child, not another mans. He'd probably punch you if you told him she belonged to another man.

Some men do believe loving and caring for a child is more important than genetics.

I'd be over the moon if I found out my 'daddy' wasn't my daddy. T'aint gonna happen unfortunately

nobody said women lying is "fine"

I think you have an issue with women though, and keep trying to steer the conversation round to the rights of men

severin, have you personal experience of raising a child not your own ?

the best solution to all of this of course, is for men to use contraception at all times, unless they are 100% committed to raising a child, whether together as a romantic partner with the mother or not

that concept is getting a bit old-fashioned these days though...

let's wait until the baby is born and start punishing the mother instead....a much better idea

Yes I can't say I'd be that sad. Confused, certainly, since I look startlingly like him, but not that sad.

Still wondering about the 'rise in teenage pregnancies, infidelity and multiple partners' part.

I wonder if it was 4% of babies are switched in a hospital by the father unknowingly to the mother if people would be so nonchalant about it.

There is a difference from someone knowingly bringing up someone else's child, they know the truth and are not being lied to on such an important issue and they have made an informed decision to commit anyway.

But this is not an issue which affects women much so I suppose it doesn't matter.

I agree that children should not be deceived. But I don't agree that compulsory testing of all newborns is an appropriate way to ensure that.

And I believe, as I've said above, that the average effect of doing it would be a negative one. That more children would be harmed by it than would be helped.

But I don't think you want to discuss the impacts that this policy would have on the innocent do you?

You want to focus on punishing the guilty, even if the collateral damage is huge. Sounds like you've been badly hurt by this issue. But you still need to take the wider view - anything which has the capacity to destroy families has to be considered very carefully to be sure of the impact it will have on everyone involved.

"Dh is raising 'another mans child' except he doesn't see it that way."

Knowingly. So not the point at all.

"I wonder if it was 4% of babies are switched in a hospital by the father unknowingly to the mother if people would be so nonchalant about it. "

Apparently making that point makes one a MRA. Not just a father who cares about this issue. But rather than debate, it's smear the OP time.

Yeah Severin, RARE. I stand by that. I think this is INCREDIBLY rare.

IF young teenaged mums lie and say somebody else is the father of their child, it's probably for the benefit of the child. Ie, the real father is violent, or the real father is a drug user etc......

I think it is incredibly rare for a woman to select a father for her child after it's been conceived, as though she were selecting a pizza. so yeah, RARE. It is RARE.

"And I believe, as I've said above, that the average effect of doing it would be a negative one. That more children would be harmed by it than would be helped.

But I don't think you want to discuss the impacts that this policy would have on the innocent do you?"

The report says the opposite, children/fathers finding out later causes great harm. And the potentially life-saving medical benefits to the child that keep being ignored. A mandatory DNA test would stop all that. Unsure or deceitful women would have to be honest. And if men were switching 4-30% of children in maternity wards, I'd support the same DNA testing. It's about children knowing their true identities.

Am I smearing you?

I thought I was debating

You want to help the small number of children this affects. I would argue that -

1. some of the children affected will be more harmed by knowing than by not knowing

2. other children will be affected, because of the collateral damage ot their families.

And that therefore, your suggestion will do more harm than good.

This is debate, no?

So have you had your children's DNA tested Severin? Just in case?....

4% - 30%? . This 'research' sounds a bit made up to me.

It would be too expensive for a start, especially since the actual figures are probably closer to 1%. Unless you think the evil wimmins should be made to pay?

"IF young teenaged mums lie and say somebody else is the father of their child, it's probably for the benefit of the child. Ie, the real father is violent, or the real father is a drug user etc......"

You are making excuses for a terrible deception. No excuse, the child's right to know its true roots is more important. And I doubt the real fathers are such dangers, many times it may be because of infidelity, or the mother-to-be just picked a 'better provider.' These things happen.

I'm 100% sure. But I'd be happy with mandatory testing, as so many other children and fathers are leading lives based on a lie or mistake.