Five-a-day parenting 'checklist'? What do you think?

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello. We've just heard about this proposal to give all parents a five-a-day checklist, detailing how they should bring up their children.

Apparently, it's an idea that's winning the support of many politicians.

Would it win your support?

I think it is unlikely to help those children who need it most.

If you need reminded to feed your child a nutritious meal daily then a poster on a bus is unlikely to do much good.

The idea of parenting classes is great - I did one when I was in Germany. It focused on finding out why we sometimes overreact to a child (what pushes our buttons) and what we can do to remain calm and deal with the situation appropriately.

As to offering financial incentives - that is about as likely to happen as George Clooney turning up on my doorstep to DEMAND that I marry him.

Do you really think that in the current economic situation, the government is likely to go for this? It is a study, a well meaning one but containing lots of hot air and promises.

Its written by (a probably made redundant) city solicitor, who paid for this??

at how this has turned into single-poor-parent bashing already! I bet plenty of better-off parents with home-based childcare leave the reading, talking and playing to the nennies, for example.

But as to the campaign - is it helpful? Honestly don't know. I think someone talked about 'breast is best' as a campaign vs actually having HCPs able to actively support BF and this is what this reminds me of. Have a catchy slogan, job done. But it isn't really done is it? How about real support for parents who struggle with their own reading, parents who are struggling with PND, parents who find giving praise difficult because they didn't ever get praised themself?

If I gave someone a target at work I would sit down with them and make sure they had the skills / resources in place to make that target happen, with a little bit of effort on their behalf. This? Well, if you already parent well you already do this, don't you?

I think the principle of the 5 a day is excellent, unfortunatly some parents need to be told. however I think its wrong to introduce as a marketing campaign, all those things can be achived with a limited and resoursfull budget but once pushy advertisments, exploiting parents guilt is introduced it is way out of line and puts undue pressure on those very parents that they should be attempting to appeal to.

Breastmilk these guidelines will not solve everything but they will be a good starting point. In some ways as a struggling parent I had to fake it until I could make it. Although I did not feel like a loving interested parent I wend to the classes and did my follow up tasks at home. Even though I felt nothing I hugged her, cuddled her, chatted away etc and eventually it became second nature . Even though I say so myself I now an excellent parent, heck I may even pass for middle class.

However even though I think I do a good job , reading about these plans has made me evaluate my parenting and make little plans to myself about how I can improve. Surely that is no bad thing .

put the time and resourses back into sure start centres where parents can actually talk and engage with each other, proffessionals and seek out support and advice without being bullied into buying material objects that will not make them any more able to achive these 5 principles.

I agree about the toys, buying toys alone will not make anyone a good parent.

It's all very well for (most of) us in our ivory towers to say that there shouldn't be interference and, as was said on another thread, that this is trying to impose middle-classes values on people, but it is undeniable that there are problems and they have to be tackled.

Our local council runs budgeting and cookery classes for young mothers who have been identified by social services as needing urgent help. My friend works there - she says that most of the girls are just not interested. She says that they look at her and her shopping lists of raw ingredients as if she's quite mad.

'The issue for me would seem to be that parenting is not valued. It's all well and good suggesting that children need healthy meals/ reading to/ talking to (obviously I agree that they do). I just don't know how this fits in to a society that only places value on career progression/ financial gain. '
Agree with careyhunt

It isn't about middle class values though is it, being a good parent is classless. I would imagine for many parents it would just be a case I'd some advice to set them on the right path .

Bookstart have been trying to get parents to read for years
There is stacks of stuff on healthy eating already in circulation
Sure start have been supporting families with parenting/language/play courses for ages.
The NHS are running a change4life campaign reminding us how to build dens and play tag, despite the fact that none of these things are as much fun once you have downloaded the instructions from a government website.

Why not just support the initiatives already set up, which have built up relationships and credibility in the community? If the professionals and children's centres aren't reaching the families who need to be told these basics, an impersonal advertising campaign won't. They need personal help getting motivated and coping with life, not an impersonal, over-complicated advertising campaign.

The BBC has just reported that less well off parents will be given monetary incentive to fulfil these targets with increased child benefit!!??
Does anyone else find this a slippery slope?

And here I thought I lived in a society that makes mothers feel guilty for working... not one that encourages it.

So the government has decided that Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting approach is definitively wrong, then, if we should be praising our children all the time? I think there's a difference between praising your chidren lots vs not saying negative things to them and giving them lots of positive attention (but not actual praise).

And it says that structured bedtimes & mealtimes are a sign of 'positive parenting'. What? We're failing our children if we fail to do Gina Ford? What rubbish. We have varying meal/bed times in our house, because when we feel hungry / tired varies - that's acting responsively towards our DS, not poor parenting.

I think it ticks all the boxes that politicians look for i.e. 'simple', 'cheap' and 'popular'... but I think it's a complete waste of time. Scattergun style initiatives never hit the intended target and I include Surestart in that description. Those that genuinely need to be reminded to feed and talk to their children should be identified and there should be intervention. Those that don't (which would be the vast majority) will only feel patronised.

I thought this kind of patronising, nannying shyte went out with New Labour. Apparently not. Cameron/Clegg. Go and sit in the naughty corner and think about what you have done!

Well I didn't feel patronised which suggests I was the target audience and the help I received transformed our lives.

Typically, children from the poorest families are exposed to far fewer words, less likely to read books with their parents and eat poorer diets than their peers in wealthier homes. The result can be that children from deprived homes fail to master essential literacy skills and become mentally and physically unhealty.

What a load of utter fucking rubbish!

If people are going to be given higher benefits to parent properly alongside other benefits I am going to have to start going through my budget. Is it really worth the childcare costs, higher travel costs, pay freezes ( last 3 years!), stress, and missing out on so much of dc to work full time?

"What on earth could be more important than parenting?"

Wine or Pimms. Depending on the season. HTH

When I was poor I found it more difficult to pay for a balanced diet, not really through lack of knowledge but lack of funds. Although I suppose I gained from learning about cheaper cuts of meat and how to make my food budget stretch. However as a poor single parent I had more time to read and play with my daughter as she was my only responsibility.

onehumdred percent

HOW CAN YOU SAY THATS BULLSHIT? really shocked . its the complete and utter truth!!!!

and for everyone slating it, what what do you suggest. really? ideas please

I throught so, some people have no idea

Right well.....I am poor, I admit that.

BUT.

My kids have hundreds of books. My 4 year old can read! Both of my children have been speaking since they were physically able to.
They eat healthier than anyone I know.

So yes, I can say it is!