T.M.I. =Sex Education for under year 5 and 6 in Primary Schools

[Poeteats4gals]

Hi fellow passionate Mums!!!

Sex Education is not mandatory ...yet. Perhaps September. Parents have many legal rights in this area. They have a legal right to ask for The Sex Education Policy for the school and to scrutinise it and to ask to see DVD's and they have the right to withdraw their children to go swimming as I did today.

If your child is disturbed in any way by the Sex Ed. materials used in the school you can take your child for counselling and have same recorded by your G.P. and seek legal advice. Groups of parents can go to a solicitor especially if you were not informed. The law after all is there ,supposedly , to protect the innocent...our children whom we entrust to be educated.

Schools telling little kids about Sex Ed.is a bit like schools telling them about the tooth fairy or Santa without telling parents. It deskills us as parents and gives kids too much information , too young...what do you think?

The kids chat about things they don't need to know, simply because they are being taught. It's the Garden Of Eden ....all over again ...knowledge!

How about reading , writing , Maths and leaving Sex Ed to us?

WE so know the stage our kids are at!
Anyway ..has Sex Ed. worked to bring down STD's or teenage pregnancy rates?

Let's have some teaching on self esteem
and gift and talent awareness instead that g further in schools that an e mail and a course at a weekend when its down family time.

We know our kids best in this oversexualised culture and this is best to come from parents as and when it comes up..What do you think?

[BadBagel]

How can you tell kids that touching themselves feels nice and then tell them it's rude to do it in public? It's sending out confused messages. And where is the info on keeping themselves safe and not letting others touch their private parts?

Actually it is very easy to tell children that there is nothing wrong with touching themselves and at the same time explain to them that there is a place and time for that, as with many other things. It's important that children know there is nothing shameful or dirty about their body so that they will tell someone if something inapproriate happens.

I am all for using 'street talk' as it will open up dialogue because kids will have heard the words being used. Keep the official words for biology lessons.

[Malcontentinthemiddle]

What do you want then Rhubarb - for them to be told it's nice but a bit wrong, wrong and nasty, or nice and very wrong?

[BadBagel]

And I think bad sex education is better than no sex education at all.

[TheRhubarb]

I think street talk is vulgar, you don't. So surely you agree that my choice is therefore just as valid as yours? You may let your kids do things I wouldn't approve of and vice versa, but so long as no-one tries to force us to do things we disagree with then it's not a problem is it?

As I said before, every child is different and matures in different ways. In ds's class he is one of the oldest at 7, some are still 6. Some fiddle and some don't. It has never occured to me to talk to my 7yo about masturbation and that girls do it just like boys. He doesn't fiddle very much at all so I've seen that conversation as unnecessary. Again, that is my choice. I very much resent my choice being taken from me.

It's an emotive subject with some parents being more laid back than others. The way I talk to my kids about sex would generate different opinions. Both of mine know about periods and have seen me change pads etc. They know how babies get there. I chose to tell them these things when they have asked as then I know they are ready for that information. Some things I haven't discussed with them yet as I don't feel it necessary and it is something I am uncomfortable with them knowing at a young age. As their hormones start to create those feelings then I will be more frank.

At the moment I have that right. If the government gets their way I won't. And I deeply resent that.

[Malcontentinthemiddle]

Yes, wait until you see the stained sheets, then you know he's ready to hear that wanking is bad.

[TheRhubarb]

Thanks Mal. Very helpful that. We are talking about my 7 YEAR OLD SON FFS so show me a little more respect.

Actually you know what? As I have mentioned my children I may ask for my comments to be deleted as I will not have my parenting skills torn apart or my children being spoken about in that way. It's not on.

[Becaroooo]

You are quite, quite bonkers

Bring on the Sex Ed at 5!!!!

Make sure teenage girls (and boys!) know about menstruation and the changes that take place during puberty. Make sure they know what STDs are. Make sure they know that sex is not compulsory.

Sex Ed isnt just about sex, its about how we treat the opposite sex and the changes in our bodies.

I genuinely dont understand parents who have an issue with this

[turCENSOREDss]

MY ds1 (age 5 ) has been having discreet sex ed lessons at school. To him it is not about 'sex', it is about how we change as we grow. He is not traumatised in the least and does, in fact, know a LOT more on the subject from me than he has ever been told about in school.

The thing is to have the kind of relationship where they can ask you anything without either of you being embarrassed. DS recently told me he was worried that he might not make enough sperm to have the 5 children he is planning. I put his mind at rest on that score .

[turCENSOREDss]

rhubarb0 - very useful word for kids is 'private'. There are things which should be private and this can be taught at an early age.

[Becaroooo]

"vulgar swear words"???

I assume you mean vagina, penis etc???

They are not swear words!!! They are the correct names for body parts we all have!!!

My son is 8 and knows that I have a vagina and that he and dh have a penis. One is not better than the other, but its easier for him and dh to pee in an emergency!!!

It never ceases to amaze me how prim some grown adults are re: sex and human reproduction.

By all means make a big deal of it if you wish but your son will not thank you. He will wonder why you are withdrawing him from these classes (that all his friends attend) and then try and find out for himself...do you really want your son to learn about sex from Youtube???????????/

Because, if we/school dont talk to out dc about it, then they will look elsewhere for the information the want/need.

[BadBagel]

Schools can only give general information, not info catered to individual needs, that is what we parents do.

Yes street talk is vulgar but it reaches children, these are words they are familiar with even if they don't know their meaning, yet.

Sadly enough there are still too many parents who do not talk to their children about sex and that is why sex education should be compulsory imo

[TheRhubarb]

Funny how, if you have a different opinion to the rest you are labelled as bonkers. What an intelligent response.

tur, yes private is a very good word which funnily enough does not come up in the sex ed DVDs.

Once again, I am not advocating no sex ed for children, but I am advocating for more emphasis on personal safety, privacy, respect etc. And I abhor anyone telling me that my choice are bonkers or that I should be forced to allow sex ed for my kids. Because even if I think that every child should be taught about sex, I still believe in the parents right to parent their children in the way they see fit and the government should not interfere too much in parenting.

[TheRhubarb]

becaroo, if you have any sense could you read all my posts please? I was referring to the term 'wanking'.

But thanks for the misunderstanding and the judgement.

[Malcontentinthemiddle]

I kind of want my kids to know that wanking means masturbating etc..... I think you need to!
Not that she's been taught this in SARE, I hasten to add!

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

"Cognito - do you not think that parents will not now discuss sex with their children at home because school does it for them?"

I'm sure some people will be quite happy to delegate the subject to school and, if the school is one that does a bad job, that child won't get the best education. That applies to any subject at school, in fact. It's still not an argument against compulsory sex-ed classes. It's an argument to have a better national standard and greater parental involvement.

People our grandmother's generation talk about getting to their wedding night not being sure how babies were born, what sex was, and feeling horrified, frightened or shamed by the whole process. Going back to those ignorant days is not the mark of a civilised society.

[TheRhubarb]

It doesn't mean that anymore Mal, it's used as an insult i.e "You're a wanker!" It's like telling them that fucking means sex, which it can but it also means "fucking excellent!" and so on. There are plenty of swear words out there that my dcs will pick up without me having to explain the meaning of each and every one.

[slhilly]

Rhubarb, I think this:
"How can you tell kids that touching themselves feels nice and then tell them it's rude to do it in public?" is a bit weird, tbh. Kids of any age don't need a DVD to tell them that touching their genitalia feels nice! Babies touch their genitalia for just that reason, fgs. What's the big deal with explaining to a child that it's fine for them to touch their genitalia, but it's not something to do in public? What are you going to do, require them to deny the evidence of their own senses and pretend it doesn't feel nice?

[TheRhubarb]

cognito - again I have reiterated in almost every single post that I am NOT saying there should be no sex ed. Look, I can't be bothered repeating myself. If you want to misread what I have written then go ahead. I've got to pick the kids up and I've no wish to continue to discuss this will people who don't read my posts and who are quite happy to call me bonkers, prim and talk about MY children in sexual terms (not referring to you there).

This will not turn into an intelligent debate much as I'd love it to.

[Malcontentinthemiddle]

I know it's used as an insult. But also as a verb in its original sense. I'm not saying I think ten year olds should necessarily be told to say 'I'm having a wank' though! But knowing the words, whether the polite ones or not, can be useful.

I still cringe to remember when I didn't understand the difference between twit and twat as a child!

[seeker]

SShow me the sex education material designed for children in s state primary school in teh UK that uses the word "wank" and I will donate 10 quid to charity.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

"If you want to misread what I have written then go ahead"

And I said that "It's still not an argument against compulsory sex ed classes". That is what you're banging on about isn't it? The compulsory part. You'll be reading what I wrote a bit more closely next time, will you?

I'll match seeker's £10 btw....

[TheRhubarb]

You both owe £20 to charity.
The DVDs are from Channel4 called Living and Growing.
The third DVD in the series is aimed at Yr6 (10 to 12yos) and in that as the OP correctly states, a teenage boy leans in to the camera and tells the youngsters that masturbation is calling wanking. I don't think the term is only used the once either.

cognito, I am not arguing against sex ed in classes, if you read my posts I am arguing that the sex ed at the current time is wrong and that it should never be made compulsory.

Let's put it this way. You may think that mobile phones for children under the age of 16 are perfectly acceptable and you fully intend to buy one for your children. I think they pose a risk and are used inappropriately in school. The government agrees with me and they quote stats which states that mobile phones contribute to bad behaviour in schools therefore from now on it is illegal for anyone under the age of 16 to have a mobile phone.

You know that your child would never use a mobile phone inappropriately and are quite rightly angry that your decision as a parent has been taken away.

In the same vein, I know when my children are ready for their sexual education and whilst you might disagree with my views, I have the right as a parent to make that decision for them. Yet the government will soon take away that right.

Not everyone who takes their children out of school sex ed is a barmy religious nut, some of us are just concerned parents who want to tell our children about it in our own time and in our own way without sitting them down and making a deal out of it. That's our right as parents and that right should not be taken away.

I disagree with these DVDs. I don't think there is enough emphasis on personal safety, privacy and respect. If the school take on the mantle of teaching children about sex then they should take on the whole package, not just part of it.

That is not me saying that there should be no sex ed in schools. I don't know how you come to that conclusion but it is wrong.

[motherinferior]

Well, I still think there should be lots and lots and lots of sex ed in school. Sex ex that lets them know that penetrative sex isn't the only option, and that there are a lot of highly enjoyable things they can do that don't risk pregnancy or STDs. Sex ed that lets them know the feelings they may have about their best, same-sex mate, are OK and normal and that they can grow up happy about these feelings and act on them - later - and generally be fine about it all. Sex ed that acknowledges that as teenagers they are likely to want to experiment, and makes it possible for them to experiment safely.

[CrapolaDeVille]

Rhub.... What danger is there in telling a child that touching themselves feels nice? Knowing that, unless they're very odd, they know it already and having this as part of sex ed will just make them feel normal.

Do you think they'll wank until blindness with this filthy information? Kids do touch themselves all of the time. I have recently had to advice my 9 yr old that whilst he may enjoy it I'd rather he saved it for himself on his own as that's the time to explore your body!!

[CrapolaDeVille]

And Rhub....I think you are just the sort of parent whose children would benefit from sex ed in schools.