Overnight nursery care, Item on Radio 4 now

[Easy]

Would you leave your child in nursery for 15 hours a day?

Thats true for us AJM too. No-one here could regularly look after DS.

The point I was trying to make NN is that it isn't just a simple 'choice'. It would have wide reaching ramifications on other areas of our life. We are lucky that we just about get by on the money I bring home with DP's earnings, and manage to care for him between us. But that won't last and atm means we can go weeks without a day off together, which is tough too.

And if we didn't do the long shifts as we do now, DS would have to be in nursery. We are lucky, atm, I think that we both do long shifts. And that does, very much so, give DS a much better family life.

Just another thing in a long, long list to beat yourself up about, isn't it?

If you work, you don't love your children. If you don't work, you don't have a life. If you do a bit of both, you don't do anything properly. If you blah blah blah fucking blah.

Good summation HM.

You know, when I first joined (pregnant) I didn't get all the ho ha about breastfeeding, cesearians, childcare blah blah blah. And one by one I have suddenly 'got' them all and end up getting upset about them all at some point!

yes, I understand your point, and it is indeed hard when you're never at home together.
Ill send you some links on re-training as an engineer if you like more pay, fewer hours!

It's all just navel-gazing, isn't it?

Floss, all I can say is that I am jolly glad some people choose to be nurses, however family-unfriendly it might be

hunker, surely it is about working conditions, and how much we are prepared to put up with family life being disrupted so that we can earn our living?
I think it is serious - I certainly wouldnt want my employer to start assuming that I could park my children in a nursery for 15 hours.

And I am certainly not glad that nurses are forced into this sort of choice!

(Incidentally, you are not supposed to be in your workplace for more than 10 hours + breaks in Germany on any one day, so I suppose the 15 hour question wouldnt arise here.)

NN, I mean the whole thing - is it right to go to work, stay at home, eat lettuce on Wednesdays, etc, etc, endless etc.

NN, technical engineer from a nurse? Can't see me doing that, thanks! I do go to work and hope to enjoy it. Think I have lost a bit of that recently and hope to try and get it back one way or another. Family is my main number one priority. But that shouldn't mean that my career has no importance, especially when it is something I worked hard for, as I'm sure is the case for most.

NN, that sounded snotty and it wasn't meant to be! I'd need brains for that! And I seem to have lost the little I did have since having DS, thats all! I'm sure your job is great.

Thanks for being kind Tanmum.

Oh, god. I mean I would need brains to do your job! Not brains to be snotty. Arrrgh! Point proved nicely really!

I have met a fair few ex-nurses in high-tech, IT type jobs actually. NOT harder than nursing, I am sure!

its late! Im off home, goodnight.

I haven't heard the piece on R4 or read anything about this, so I'm not sure of the details. I wouldn't put DD in for 15 hours, but I would find more flexible care very useful. I have to travel quite a lot for work, which means early starts and late finishes (I always try to make them daytrips.) When this happens I compensate by working less the day before or day after.
This means that I often struggle with the 6am-9am shift on the day of travel, but have childcare available during the following day when I want to stay at home.
I'd love to be able to pay for a certain number of hours per month and use them flexibly, including some early mornings and late evenings.

BJ, thats an excellent idea. Wouldn't work though in reality I suppose.

Night night nighty night!

I'm sorry but I'm flabbergasted at the way mums on here often view sahm. I am not holier than thou, and often my kids do have to see mummy a bit stressed whilst she is cooking dinner and ds2 runs into the potty and spills poo over the floor. but what am i supposed to do apologise for the fact that i am not sending my kid to nursey all day. I live from hand to mouth and no i don't go on fantastic bloody holidays every year but so bloody what. Whoopi do for all you mums that work and spend quality time with your kids how wonderful for you but don't turn your feelings round on me as a SAHM and expect me to apologise for doing the best i can, okay so sometimes its stressful, but my kids love me and i love them. I don't pass judgement on you guys so don't pass it on me. I'm sorry if I'm taking this personally but if a SAHm came on here and blasted you guys (which i would never do) then she would be shot down, but its okay for you to take cheap shots at SAHM under the pretence that its only the smug ones you are getting at.

Just come across this thread. Surely these nurseries are for shift workers and not intended for children to be left in for 15 hours at a time. Would there be restrictions for how long a child could stay there in a 24 hour period? Have to say that if you could leave a child there for 15hours this sounds a dreadful idea. That's not a nursery, it's more like an orphanage.

And what is so wrong with my kids watching me hoover, cook and clean ffs?? Okay so i'll send them off to nursery so they can have some input and not have to go through such emtional turmoil as me doing the housework

MKm, as a working mother I have not been on holiday at all for 18 months!!!! If I could be at home with DS that is what I want to do. But as it is, his mummy and daddy both go out to work and he gets to see both of us getting stressed over cooking dinner etc.

Uhhhh... I'm quite certain that engineers work long hours for mediocre pay. So, you might as well stick with nursing.

Mykidsmum, I think you are overreacting just a tad. Were SAHMs attacked here?

uwila, I think mkm was reacting to ajmum's post of 9.36 last night - which did refer to "holier than thou SAHMs......" among other things. not too helpful.
I think one of the reasons why this makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, is that (as other people have said already) once this becomes widely available, then this will set up an expectation among some employers that this is something that a committed employee would do. I appreciate that many parents would welcome fleixble care, but IMO these REGULAR long days of nursery care etc are often primarily for the benefit of employers, aren't they? FWIW, yes I used to be away from home on a regular basis for upwards of 15 hours a day and yes my employer did expect me to arrange the kind of care that would be seamless for them. The weight of employer expectation can be powerful and in a climate where we are seekng to encourage more flexible working for BOTH parents I can't help thinking that this would be a retrograde step.

ah, okay. Take your point on "holier than thou".

However, I don't think the absense of long hour nurseries will keep employers from seeking employees who can put in long hours. It just means that those jobs and career advancements will go to those who do have such arrangements (such as live-in nannies, partners who stay home, etc.)

Currently, I leave the house at 7:00 and return at 7:00. There is no nursery that I know who could accommodate those hours. My DH works away most of the week. So, my only childcare option is to hire a live-in nanny (and this comes with significance tax penalties). I welcome more options in childcare so that each of us can choose what is right for our family.

My personal belief is that I wish I had hte luxury of staying at home thinking about 'should I work? Should I not?' v. 'I have to go to work or be homeless.'

Fantastic holidays, mykidsmum? PMSL! Haven't had a holiday AT ALL in 4 years, must less a 'fantastic' one.

I work to live hand to mouth. So do most people in the world. We just get on w/it.