Overnight nursery care, Item on Radio 4 now

[Easy]

Would you leave your child in nursery for 15 hours a day?

They were discussing extended hours for different types of working parent - not just assuming children would be there all day. Some of us work in the evenings but are free during the day, so conventional nursery systems aren't suitable and we don't want to use babysitters or other one-to-one care.

No. Makes me feel sad to think of them not being at home tucked up by someone who loves them.

Maybe my comparison was a bad one, the comparison with factory work certainly was leapt upon!!so maybe not factory work but a nice, comfortable, air conditioned office, with a job involving lots of variety. Is that better? Even with a job someone might enjoy, after 7-8 hours that same person is usually dying to leave and get home. What I'm trying to say was that if 7-8 hours in a nice job in a nice environment is enough for us as adults, surely it's not unreasonable to think a 9 hour day in a day nursery is far too much for a baby or a pre schooler? I can imagine them late into the afternoon getting tired and wanting their parents and they've still got another couple of hours to go before being collected.

My personal belief is that EastEnders is on now and Grant and Phil reappear tonight.

Mr Bubble and I own and run two nurseries. I am obviously going to defend excellent daycare provision and I can say, hand on heart, that ours is.

What any parent who uses full daycare will understand is that the littlies build up close and loving realtionships with their keyworkers, people who are trained and experienced in the care of children. No, we're not mum and dad, but we genuinely care about each and every one of our children. How could you not?

The children have a lovely time at our nursery. The day is structured around them, if a child wants to do nothing, then that's what they do.

Not sure what I'm trying to say here, but 15 hours with a reluctant SAHM (for whatever reason) is worse than 15 hours in a nursery. IMHO

having previously run a baby room in a nursery - i'm going to say no way should babies be in a nursery environment for 15 hours or any longer than neccessary - i had parents who would drop their babies off at 7.30am, pick them up at 7pm, complaining that we werent open later, that we werent open on saturdays, Ive even been asked why we dont open on christmas day FFS IMO anywhere that opens longer hours will be taken advantage of by some parents - ive worked for teachers whove put their children in nursery everyday over the school holidays so they dont have to look after them - Why have kids if you dont want to spend time with them??? Sorry but it really winds me up am now gonna go hide in a corner!

Oh and nursery can be too over stimulating for babies/quieter children - no chance to be by yourself, days can be too structured, asd well as being to unstructured again just MHO after years of working in a number fo nursery settings.

"but 15 hours with a reluctant SAHM (for whatever reason) is worse than 15 hours in a nursery."

Couldn't agree more! Had a friend who had her DS at the same time as I had DS1. She was always adamant that she was going to be a full time SAHM.......but after about 6 months realised that she just couldn't "do" it - so found a job. Initially she was really disappointed with herself, but after a while, as the relationship with her DS blossomed (because the time she was spending with him became quality time, instead of ^quanitity( time) she was VERY glad she'd made the decision to do it.

here's a thought. Has it ever occured to some of you that sometimes, just sometimes, a woman who "desperately wants children" - has them, only to realise that actually she's not really the "motherly" type at all - and then regrets it (I believe there's programme on Channel 5 tonight something along the lines of "having a baby ruined my life"..). Would it be better for her to be at home with her children all day, everyday, miserable, unhappy, and not interacting with the children at all. Or for those children to be in a happy and safe environment?

Or, on the reverse, those woman who say they DON'T want children because they could "never" do it - then fall pg accidently - but turn out to be fantastic mothers, who even go as far as quitting work to be full time SAHMs............

katylou, you haven't worked in my nursery. though.

Yes I would - if I liked the nursery and it's staff etc. Parents leave their children with me for overnight stays or for weekends. Some people work as cabin crew or in other non-standard hour's jobs. I have done 12hr shifts myself with a not uncommon 2hr overrun.
15hrs a day every day is a lot (who works those hours?), but as with the wrap around care idea it doesn't follow that that is what parents are doing every day. I think the flexibility of longer nursery hours is great for those that need them, and a lot better than the itty bitty pillar to post care that parents have often had to resort too.

Totally agree goosey. Choice? Picked up from nursery or after-school club by childminder for a further few hours care? Or cared for by same nursery?

15 hour care is going on all the time, it's just that the children are picked up from childminders at the end of the day.

We offer 10 hours a day and parents are still rushing to collect, even at 6pm.

no. impossible to justify IMO.

but havent generations of women given up jobs that required long shifts, because they had small babies?

I left dd2 in a nursery for 9 hours a day, from age 6 weeks - 8 months, because I had to, but even I would draw the line at 15 hour shifts for her.

Would it be okay to leave a child with grandma or an aunt (or uncle) for 15 hours? Just interested.

"no. impossible to justify IMO."

So - if DH's hours changed (with theoretically they could - but 99.99% certain they won't) - and it meant I couldn't get to work on time - what would I do with my children????

Hiya Bubble! How are ya?

I am one of those parents who doesn't use a nursery because the hours aren't long enough. It doesn't mean I love my kids any less than the a SAHM, it just means I value my career in addition to my role of mother. That's my choice. I don't regret it. And, there isn't any reason I should.

I totally understand where those against are coming from. I would not choose to, but a lot of people living in London don't have the choice but to work long hours. It's easy to suggest 'down-sizing' but a lot of people in London are struggling to pay mortgages on tiny houses and, in any case, The Hebrides aren't that big and the rest of you wouldn't want us townies on your land, would you?

I'm against it - it sounds awful - poor babies.

But, I'm not using it and it's up to the individual whether they want to use it or not. If you want to, need to, feel it's right for you then who am I to argue?

It's just not something I'd do, not even 7 odd hours in normal day nursery. Not for my children anyway.

bubble,
the most important thing for me, (after basic safety) is the children being in their own home, familiar bed etc. I would leave children overnight with a trusted nanny, or relative. My children have also stayed overnight at their grandparents. But I wouldnt be happy to do this on a regular basis. I myself am living between 2 places at the moment, and it is pretty stressful. I dont think its fair to inflict that stress on a child.

Doing good uwila. How's your little man? And older sis?

but surely nobody has to work 15 hour shifts? there are loads of different job opportunities in London.

God this is hitting home to me atm. DS will probably have to go to nursery from May next year, when he'll be 18months. I will have to work full time (regardless of whether we get a mortgage or not!) and I don't think I will be able to fit that many shifts in around DP. A night nursery would be great for us. Not so sure that that specifically would be so good for DS. Wouldn't do it out of choice.

Since I've looked and realised that DS will have to go to nursery I've felt quite bad about it, especially as to start with I thought it was so far off but time is marching on so. But he really is such a sociable baby, even when he was feeling unwell the other day he crawled screaming up to other children who just look at him in horror. I think he will do just fine. Love it even. I hope that going there for hopefully only 2/3 days a week we can provide him with a happy balanced life. And yes, those days stand a very good chance of being long ones. Because as key workers that is they type of shift we do. It will be hard to get DS to and from nursery. Longer opening hours will make life easier for us, when it all too often feels like life is very hard (feeling sorry for myself moment!!)

"I myself am living between 2 places at the moment, and it is pretty stressful. I dont think its fair to inflict that stress on a child."

hmmm - so what about families who've split up - but where both parents maintain lots of contact with the child - so that sometimes the child stays at the mothers house, sometimes as the fathers....surely that's the same as "living between 2 places" - yet that sort of thing seems to be encouraged.......

Bubble point is nursery is busy - lots of other kids, interesting things going on etc etc. Leaving a child 15 hours with granny/grandpa wouldn't be as stimulating all day for them, more one to one and quiet times getting cuddles/stories one to one (hopefully!!).

have no idea of your personal circs QofQ.

there is a difference between 10 hours and 15 hours IMO.