Why do people mind so much that someone else is gay?

[hunkerpumpkin]

Why do people care so much about who other people are attracted to? So much that they'll beat them to death...

Its terrible. i have a few gay friends and never think a thing about it. Infact DS3 godfather is gay

It's weird isn't it?
I was just thinking this the other day - I asked my frined if we could rehearse at her house - she has a piano and a music room and everything - and she loked really uncomfortable. I said not to worry, and then later she phoned and said she didn't want to invite the group to her house because two of them are gay men and her husband doesn't like them...
I was absolutely speechless because the thought had not even crossed my mind. They are only in their thirties fgs, surely they must come across gay men all the time?
my sister is also a bit odd about homosexuality, but (I tell myself) she is very heavily influenced by her church into believing that gay people are evil.
hopefully it is one of those things that will die out within the next generation or two.

I never understood why some folks just can't live and let live. I mean, if you have that much time that you can be bothered about who's attracted to whom, you really need a life.

OMG, that is disgusting.

I just don't know - why are some people so bothered? They really need to get a life and find something more useful to do. Sheesh.

I was horrified by this .

The thugs who did this terrible thing went out, looking to hurt someone. IMO, it isn't even about homosexuality. That is what they chose to focus on, iyswim, but it is THEM and their visciousness. To me, the question isn't why do some people mind that someone is gay, it is why do some people want to beat someone else up.

They are mindless thugs who wanted to beat someone. They decided on a 'type' of person to attack. It has nothing to do with 'gay', and everything to do with 'thug'.

They could just as easily have beat up an oap for his pension or a fan of a rival football team after a match, because that's their mentality. They are psychos who get pleasure from hurting others!

Well said, MyTwoPenceWorth. It's about sicko idiots.

Sexuality is so NOT important! I was fortunate in that my dad had a gay best mate even when we were growing up and two of my Great Aunts who are in their 90's now are living together and have been since 1940's... well one is my Great Aunt, haven't the foggiest which though, they're just family. It's never been an issue to me though. but the Aunts were rejected by my Grandparents family, and it was only after 20 years together when my Mum's generation came of age that they were even allowed to family weddings and stuff. very different these days, thank God!

My Mum explained gay sex to me when I was ten (I should add that a boy at school was molested and I was asking questions), I've had more than 20 years to get used to the idea and frankly, I'm sure my gay mates are annoyed that I am so unshockable. Violence, cruelty and intolerance... they are the only things that shock me.

Think our parents generation are a lot less toler
ant than ours, love the way my Mum will say "and she's a lesbian" about one of a set of daughters we know as if it's a big deal to me it's no different than saying "she's a nurse or she has red hair"

Frankly I have too much going on in my life to worry about what other people get up to in their own homes, I wouldn't care if one of my DDs grew up and told me she was a lesbian as long as people are happy who cares?

Think our parents generation are a lot less toler
ant than ours, love the way my Mum will say "and she's a lesbian" about one of a set of daughters we know as if it's a big deal to me it's no different than saying "she's a nurse or she has red hair"

Frankly I have too much going on in my life to worry about what other people get up to in their own homes, I wouldn't care if one of my DDs grew up and told me she was a lesbian as long as people are happy who cares?

I don't mind about anyone's sexuality, unless they wave it in my face (so to speak )

I lived and worked in Islington in the eighties and I did get P'd off with being called a 'breeder' by gay colleagues.

I don't condone this attack, but I must admit to wondering why this man felt the urge to 'cottage' in a public place. Homosexuality is now widely accepted. I recently took my (nearly) 8 year old into a men's public toilet (he refused to go into the 'girls' loo and I wasn't going to let him go into the gents on his own) We opened an (unlocked) door to find two men w**g each other. This was in a public loo below Waitrose at 3pm FGS

So. Whilst I don't think this man should have met such a brutal end, anyone who lives in North London knows why he was there, and couldn't he have done it at home?

Was he Polish? in Warsaw the mayor (probably the future prime minister, with twin brother as president) has banned gay rights demonstrations - if he was Polish, maybe he felt safer in London and could be more open about it. How ironic, and how terrible for the poor guy.

awful, awful, awful.

it said in the Guardian he was British.

The people who "care so much" are the same kind of mindless bigots who will beat up black people or hang dogs - hurting someone different makes them feel good apparently? Why they feel like that and how to educate them out of it is what needs to be addressed.

This kind of thing happens to a greater or lesser extent all the time and I sometimes feel it's very much there but for the grace of god (or I would if I believed in god). A local bloke's brother was killed recently when he was punched once by a bloke in a bar because he spilt his drink or something.

I know, I know.

I've been upset about this all day. I lived in south London for 16 years and many of my gay friends used to frequent Clapham Common. Once a group of young men tried to queer bash my dh thinking he might be gay.

Society maintains itself through catergories and one of the most fundamental is men are men and women are women. In order to fit in as members of society people need to maintain and uphold these catergories. When others are seen to challenge them it makes people feel threatened. After all, they're going to such trouble to maintain the catergories that it doesn't do for others to dis' them.
People get confused when anyone diverges from this and challenges the perceived norm so that's when people feel the need to indulge in catergory maintainance/. It's their way of making sense of it all.

Also, they're probably gay deep down but twarted and twisted.

Read today of some yobs who had thrown a white rabbit from a petting zoo into the alligator enclosure

It's the mindless nature of the violence, isn't it?

if they did specifically go out to target a gay man, they probably have issues with their own repressed sexuality as nothing makes you hate someone or something more than if you hate that quality in yourself....you want to destroy it.

spider, xed posts.

Bubble he probably couldn't do it at home. Even if he could, cottaging is so much part of gay culture because of the history of opression. Most of my gay friends used to cottage and though at first I couldn't understand it, I think I do now. Bearing in mind that men think about having sex 8 million times a day (or something) it's only natural that - freed from the constraints of a woman's sexual timetable - he'll indulge a lot.

I've never come across them 'at it' in a public toilet. That's annoying. But that was those two individuals and if I were you I would've told them off.

Sorry spidey. I have to disagree. A 23 year old bloke has no memory or knowledge of previous oppression. And I am more than prepared to out myself as a total homophobic here.

Sex with someone of your own gender is not 'normal.' Pleasurable, perhaps, but not 'normal.'

Paedophiles maintain that sex with babies or young children is 'normal.' Disgusted? Yes, so am I.

I do not buy the 'genetic' theory for homosexuality either. I used to be a 'fag-hag' in my twenties, but quickly realised that most of my gay mates had had f**d up relationships with the parent of the same gender. Normal? No.

I don't condone killing someone because of their (supposed) sexuality, but equally I hate the 'normalisation' of something which is totally unnatural.

think it depends on what "normal" is exactly.

if sex is seen as propogation of the species only then this begs lots of questions. we all know it isn't about procreation only. sex is fun. as long as two consenting adults agree then i dont see the problem miself.

then theres the whole masturbation question - why do yourself for pleasure if your supposed to use your bits for making babies - and then theres the contraception question, the anal sex question, the oral sex question, the sex inductry question, the prostitution question ann summers, male strippers, god it goes on.

nowt wrong with a good f*ck i say - in that light therefore i dont get why people are abhorred by it - i dont get it , i cant even empathise with it - cos i dont get it. i can understand for instance how kids could wind you up so much that you beat them - its not right, its wrong, its really wrong - but i can surely see how a parent would get to that point - but this, the murder of someone cos he sticks his todger in a place where many men like to stick theirs in a woman - i dont get it.

if a hetro couple were doing it on a park bench whilst i was out for a walk i would think " thats not on" same with a homo couple. its about being considerate. no matter who you are.

Normal is a tricky word. I would say that homosexual sex happens in many species. It happens in many (all?) cultures.

Studies do show that the stereotype, that gay men get on better with their mums than with their dads, is true. But this doesn't mean that their bad relationship with their dad caused their sexuality - often, their sexuality caused their bad relationship with their dad. (And how does this make homosexuality wrong?)

I can see that coming across people having sex in an unlocked cubicle is very unpleasant and shocking. I would be unhappy about that, too. I'm sure they weren't expecting, or happy, to be seen by a woman and an eight-year-old. As spidermama says, I would have told them off.

But if they were really so unhappy to have been seen, why have sex in a public toilet with the door unlocked? I've also walked in on two blokes indulging in oral sex in a ladies' loo and I was bloody furious - what if I'd had my kids with me? I couldn't care less who people sleep with and the murder of this poor guy in London is despicable and the actions of sick people but I rather resent playing a part in risky gay public sex!

well it depends on what you define as "normal".

In a historical context, the way that we conduct heterosexual relationships in Western Society in the 21st century would seem totally bizarre and "abnormal" - equality of the sexes; marrying for love; infidelity both tolerated and (schizophrenically) also considered grounds for divorcing a husband; sexual experimentation (even promiscuity) not only tolerated but actively encouraged in the young; personal and sexual fulfillment considered the right of men and women and adequate ground for divorce if absent; multiple partners; men "fathering" children not genetically related to them; blended families - all of this is without historical precedent and our ancestors would consider the way heteroexuals conduct themselves to be totally "unnatural".
In contrast, casual sexual encounters between are a consistent feature in almost every culture, tolerted to a greater or lesser extent but pretty much always present.
so, what's normal?

sorry should say casual sexual encounters between MEN