What age to leave a child alone or incharge of another

[L0ttie]

Woman charged for leaving 14yr old in charge of 3yr old for 30 mins at home. I left my 12 yr old in charge of my 6yr old last week for 20 mins while I went to pick up my other son. First time I felt comfortable to do so. What are other peoples views?

Long thread here, in "chat" this morning.

DD age 8 was looked after by 13 year old cousin for 6 hours while I was at work. Both girls sensible and mature for their age and get on with each other.

I wouldn't leave my step son age 14 to look after DD as he is very immature.

So think it depends on personality of the young child and the one looking after them.

My sister who is a year younger than me, and I were left at home from age 13 and 12, we hated each other and I recall one incident when she came at me with a kitchen knife! She also slammed a glass door so hard it shattered. No way should my parents have left us alone for 6 hours each day of school hols, not because we were silly just beause we didn't get on.

with all this furore in the news recently about when it is OK to leave a child alone, I think it would be a good idea to make some sensible legislation olong the lines of:

Age 12 a child can be left alone for up to 2 hours but not left to care for another child

Age 14 a child can be left alone for up to 8 hours but can only care for another child for up to 4 hours in that period

Age 16 a child can be left for 12 hours or overnight but can only care for another child for 8 hours in that period

Age 17 no restrictions

This would effectively make it illegal to have a child under the age of 17 thereby dealing with the teen pregnancy problem!!

In 2007 2008 my mum (accidentally) left my 13YO brother over night incharge of my 2YO twin sisters, when I asked the police if there would be any implications or if it was legal I was told that aslong as a child is deemed able to feed/clean and cloth themselves as well as deal with an emergency then there is no set legal age as long as all these boxes are ticked.

WRT to looking after another child then aslong as they can do the same for them without it causing any distress anyone over the age of 8 is able to do so.

It would be hard to set an age limit as some young people are much less able to take on responsibility than others.

Some adults shouldn;t be left in charge of kids!

Age 16 a child can be left for 12 hours or overnight but can only care for another child for 8 hours in that period
At 16 they can leave home and get married[with parental permission in England and Wales] they could also be parents themselves.

I don't agree with legislation simply because no two parents would agree on the cutoff date. I would think 12 years old to be left alone in the house at all is far too late for my children or most of the children in my family. And it also leaves the tricky problems of all those 11yos in Yr 7 who are making their own way to secondary school: do we say that crossing town on your own is somehow safer than sitting at home in front of the telly?

Utterly ridiculous that parents cannot be left to make their own decisions on these matters.

But if an arrest was made (didn't read the thread it was too long by the time i got it) then surely there is a legal age limit?

No, there isn't. Just as there is no legal limit to exactly how scruffy your children can look before it's considered a case of neglect.

The more I think about it, the more I believe there must have been circumstances to this particular case that we don't know about: the older boy had developmental or behavioural problems that made putting him in charge of a younger sibling risky, for example. I can't believe for a moment that the police would involve themselves with a case of a "normal" 14yo looking after his "normal" 3yo brother for a short period of time.

Where my mother is from children as young as 9 can look after thier siblings. They are taught domestic skills from very young and know how to handle it. I was looking after my siblings from the age of ten with no problems while my mum was at work. I was also babysitting my neighbours kids from the age of 14 as she knew I was capable. It was a good way to earn pocket money too.

Of course a lot of people would say that is not good but it all depends.

I wouldn't leave any child in charge of another child particularly a sibling. Even if they have common sense and wont allow the younger one to burn the house down, they are not adults and may not behave as such.

My mum used to leave my brother and I alone in the house. He's older than me. He was a bullying bastard and was mean to me constantly. It's for reasons like that. If one child is more domineering, prone to fighting, they'll lord it over the other child and it makes for a pretty miserable tiem. You need adults to supervise.

A1980, isn't is a case of knowing your own child? I often spent time at home with my older brother and/or younger brothers: none of us were domineering bullies and we coped fine. We also played out together ,and by the time we got to our pre-teens we were allowed to take the boat out on our own.

Dd and ds are also absolutely fine together; he likes going out with her or staying at home with her when we go out.

It's about personalities. Adults can be bullies too (and often they are the very same who were bullies as children). Otoh lots of people never bully, either as children or adults.

Cory my mother never knew and today won't accpet what a bullying bastard my brother was and how cruel he was to me. Reason being, he was smart enough NEVER to do it when she was in ear shot. She never knew.

Parents aren't infallible and they do NOT know everything that goes on. Children are different people when adults aren't around alot of the time. You're lucky you had nice siblings but I didn't and should not have been left alone with my bastard brother. Ever.

i am amazed that people think 16 year olds are more sensible than 11 or 12. I discovered booze boys and drugs at 16 and was more irresponsible than my 10 year old ds.

really sorry to hear that, A1980

did you ever try telling your mum that you were unhappy ab out being left alone with your brother?

because my mum would certainly have listened if I had said I didn't like being left alone

as indeed I would if mine said it

I would also notice if they stopped asking each other to come out together- as long as they both do, and look happy at the prospect, I assume they're ok