More than one in three young women say that they have been sexually assaulted after getting drunk - REALLY???

[CountessDracula]

OK I may be an old bag but in my yoof my friends and I used to get completely trollied and NONE of us were EVER sexually assaulted!!

Is this just another bullshit statistic?

Ok, so I've had 3 of the things on that little list (all in the same highly classy club - or hell hole, whichever you want to call it ) - I wouldn't have classed them as assault though, just stupid drunk men... BUT I was always sober enough to tell em where to go. If I had been that drunk, then I wouldn't have been able to, and I guess it could have gotten much further.

I have only been that badly drunk twice in my life though.

Wasn't a test for rape - sorry, wasn't clear. They were testing for date rape drugs. Will see if I can find the article.

rohypnol leaves the system very quickly though. one of the reasons why it is a drug of choice for rapists. so i'm not sure what the point is there.

Reading BK's post, I see her point though - Its wrong that stupid drunk men should be an excuse. I wouldn't want my DD to be groped by drunk men surely it is up to us now, to try to teach the drunk men that we are now raising (iyswim)

Agree with BK it's so sad when articles like
this come up and people divert their attention away from the crime being committed and onto womens behaviour. Surely women should be able to go for a night out, wear what they like and not be a target for rapists. Getting drunk isn't a crime, having sex with someone against their will is.

i have and i dont know what happened so i just never really thought about it.

it was years ago, on holiday, all i know was his first name and it happened when we all got drunk and went back to our appartment, i went on holiday with a few girls who were not very good mates so where not keeping an eye out. i was 17.

i dont think he had sex with me but i know i blacked out, when i cam round i was in my knickers.

one of my friends came in and laughed and ran out, it made me come to my senses and i quickly got dressed and was too embarassed to say anything.

we saw all the guys a couple of more times and then that was it.

i remember kissing him earlier in the night but that was it.

at that age i was known by all the boys to be "frigid" so it was not in my nature to behave like that with someone i did not know.

i cringe when i think... i cant even think as i hve no memory.

never told dh that or anyone really.

sounds like im a slapper.

I believe this is true. I know quite a few women who have been raped, two of them gang raped. One of them was taped for fun I've had a couple of lucky escapes myself in my youth.

Oh and none of them ever reported the incident by the way.

lovecloud, please don't feel like that hun You're no slapper you were a victim. Try to put it in the past as you can't do anything about it. Sadly you're one of many who've been abused by men

I've been raped twice, though the alcohol was probably only really an issue in the first as I was 17 and should have used better judgement in hindsight.
So I've had enough for two...

the statistics dont surprise me at all, in fact I thought it would be higher
agree with bk

Message withdrawn

and piffle.

Message withdrawn

curiousmama - thank you. i dont fel like a slapper but i would telling someone as how do you explain being 17 ending up in just your knickers with a stranger and your mates in the next room.

to be honest it has never really effected me as i dont know what happened and it was so long ago i feel like it was not real and was in my dreams... but it did happen as one of the girls who walked in called my boyfriend back in the uk and told him the next day! what a cow!

i remember the guy was a soldier, lots out there in aya napa, cyprus. we me them and they took us out to all the clubs, they were about 21 so really old to us. one of them was this massive guy who took a fancy to me. he was not my type but i was flattered. the night is a blur now, bit i only needed two drinks to get drunk then and the measures they give you abroad are huge. they fed us drink all the night. i remember he asked if he got condoms if we could have sex and i was shy and slightly frightened and said no. he seemed fine and said that was ok. then its a blur, to the beach on their bikes, my other friends were there and got with his other friends then back to our appartment and then its a blur.

i do remember the next couple of time we met after he was so nice to me and almost overprotective, it freaked me out a bit and was glad when we shook them off.

i never told my boyfriend but did owe up to kissing him.

maybe he didnt have sex with me but he definitely assaulted me by stripping me or making me when i was not aware of what i was doing, i was painfully shy of my body then so i know it was not my choice.

it was back in 96/97 - was the date rape drug around then?

anyway like i said it does not effect me, almost feels like i am making it up, i dont want to think too much as the detail may become false or i might remember something i dont want to.

its so dangerous when young girls drink, all of my friends lost their virginity to someone down to pressure not because they wanted to.

i am worried for my dd

Ive had more than my fair share of nasty experiences. On no less than 3 of those occasions where i have found myself to be in some serious degree of difficulty and I had been vaguely aware of the guy plying me with more and more drink/other substances but when you are a teenager you can be very naive. That doesnt make it ok for him to "take advantage". It really doesnt. Anybody that says so is bonkers and insenstive IMO.

to hear that piffle and well done for being brave enough to open up here xx

lovecloud, glad to hear you're coping ok with your experience.

I'm fine now, you find a way of coping, if they ruin your life they win, so sod that for a bunch of bananas.

I'm quite open about it here, but my mum doesn't know, but my dp does

I'm not remotely surprised by it.

I just think women are more likely to define their experience now as sexual assault or date-rape or whatever, whereas in the past we wouldn't have. We'd have just put it down to experience and taken responsibility not only for our own behaviour, but for that of our assailant as well. And I think it's a good thing that women are less inclined to take responsibility for men's behaviour now.

I don't blame your for not telling your mum piffle. It's good to be able to come on here and be open about our experiences,especially the darker ones.

Now I'm older and wiser (that's what I tell the kids anyway), I look back on some of the situations I got myself into when I was young with horror, and thank my lucky stars I'm not 6 feet under.

There is no way I should have got as drunk as I did. To get so drunk that you can't remember whole chunks of the evening is just plain stupid, as I know now with hindsight, There will always be blokes who will take advantage of the situation and the legal system to get away with whatever they can get, and that makes me - but equally I should have had more respect for myself and my safety.

I think there is a balance to be had between women not getting completely out of their faces, the legal system being completely overhauled when it comes to rape and men being forced to change their behaviour.

Honestly you don't have to be completely trollied for alcohol to have affected you enough for something to happen to you. I have to add myself to the statistic as I once went though a situation during a date when I was 17 with an older man (in his mid 20's) who took advantage of a bit of a tipsy snog and turned it into something it should never ever have been. I had no choice and the alcohol clouded my brain in how to react and what to do. It meant even through I protested I sort of swtiched off and allowed it to happen wherea now I'd have scratched his eyes out in retrospect. I wasn't trolleyed but I was a young girl for whoom 2 glasses of wine made me quite giggly. I really didn't think I was putting myself into a dangerous situation but with hindsight I can see I was pretty naive.

I agree sharklet, when girls are young they are just much more naieve about how unexpected sex can be. The first 2 sexual partners I had, were not chosen or wanted, they just happened because of parties and momentum (and I wasn't even that drunk!)

We start being like that where do you draw the line. Its the same as saying "well look how she was dressed", "what was she doing walking down a dark alley at night", "she DID invite him in for coffee". Its all bo*o*s. Sorry. But why would anyone want sex with someone that is in no fit state to consent anyway???? The question to be asked is "what kind of person wants to have sex with someone who is so out of it they cant be consensual?" And no is no. If they are in no fit state to ask, then again, it should be no. Its inexcusable. This kind of talk does no good to the thousands of innocent victims who already blame themselves. It takes years to get around that particular mindset. I know what i am talking about here. It just makes me so angry.