Do you let your DC go to the toilet alone when you're out?

[chicaguapa]

There's a shocking story in The Sun today about two poor little lads that were abused in the toilets in McDonalds while the dad sat at the table nearby. This stuck a cord with me as DS(6) went to the toilets by himself yesterday in Ikea while me and DD were eating our meatballs. It hadn't occured to me that anything horrible might have happened to him in a toilet in a shop (public toilets in a park for some reason seem different) and I just thought I was helping him with independence. I feel awful now.

I even let DS2 (aged 6 at the time) go and find (well he knew which direction to go) the toulets in the Natural History Musuem last year in the Easter Holidays - we were in the cafe and he was begging to go on his own.......so I let him.

That's ok. I definitely feel better now. I thought I was doing the right thing, but then had a wobble and wondered if I was going to get a load of replies saying 'No!!! I never let DC go to the toilet alone. You are a terrible mother and should be reported to SS.'

I do not allow my son age 9 to go to the mens toilets on his own( I stand outside, or my husband goes in). I certainly always took him to the ladies before this.

The reason is this. In a mans' toilet 'alone' he could be molested, particularly if only one other adult was in the toilet. Anyone could push him in cubicle and it does not bear thinking about what could happen.

If my son was molested/attacked, it would scar him for life.

I am not paranoid, I let him play out, he goes to a shopping alone with another freind.

But in the gents alone? NO.

Chicaguapa. It really does depend on the circumstances, I have let him go to the mens' loos in the Natural History Musuem, but they are very busy, and he would not be 'alone'

'shopping centre'.

I used to then a 12 year old was raped in the toilets of our local sainsbury's and i'm afraid to use the loo's alone myself now never mind send the children in.
We go together or not at all.

I don't, these attacks are rare but better to be safe than sorry.

The problem with the "something dreadful once happened to a child and how could you ever forgive yourself?"-take is that there is not cut-off date. Every year, dreadful things happen to teeenagers, young university students, young adults- sooner or later you have to decide that you have to take the plunge.

DS1 (11) goes on his own. With DS2 (8) I tend to hover outside and watch anyone who goes in/out. DS2 is a bit of a ditherer, and can take ages washing hands etc, and it makes me nervous...

Have to say, I've never understood all the hoo-ha about disabled toilets. My interpretation is that it's primarily a toilet, which has been appropriately equipped for a disabled person. It seems ridiculous NOT to use it if
a) there is a compelling reason why you should (e.g. pregnant, with buggy, small children etc
b) there are long queues and not enough loos

If an able-bodied person is not 'allowed' to use a disabled loo (and where does it state that, by the way?) then are they also not allowed to use ramps, or lifts, in case a disabled person needs them at the precise same time?

(I'd never park in a disabled parking space however - I see that as a completely different need/justification)

I wouldnt let mine, Its not a hassle to go with them (i have 3dc) As a child I got locked in a public toilet it was a really scary thing to happen as my mum was outside, it seemed like ages before she realized something was wrong. She had to get a member of staff to climb over to help me. By that stage I was hysterical. So its not just sinister incidents that we need to be wary of its minor ones too!

DS1 is 7 and does go on his own, but if he is more than a couple of minutes one of us will investigate.