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Is this common knowledge?

88 replies

MrsDoolittle · 02/10/2005 12:34

I have just read this article in yesterday's Guardian and I am interested in your response to this. Guardian article
Is this common knowledge amongst us or not? I have discussed this with dh at length and we don't agree.
He always assumed we would have not fertility issues with having children in our 30's, I never shared this opinion.

OP posts:
saadia · 05/10/2005 11:51

Gosh CD, I didn't know that, that's interesting.

muminlondon · 05/10/2005 12:16

but see Department of Health website

"Adoption is one means of founding a family and therefore falls within the scope of this Article. It is unlikely that this Article places a duty on the state to provide fertility treatment"

muminlondon · 05/10/2005 12:22

and more from the BMA here

interesting issue though!

monkeytrousers · 05/10/2005 13:48

Steve Jones is great. I've forgottten everything I used to know about sperm competition.

monkeytrousers · 05/10/2005 13:51

I wish I ws doing biology so I could read all those books now instead of postmodern bloomin' culture

monkeytrousers · 05/10/2005 13:56

Saadia, I think it's more an argument in principle or specifically politics, like a womans right to abortion. It's about autonomy, about not being discriminated against or forced to consider a course based on someone else's judgement, if that makes sense. I'm not very pithy these days (essays pending..)

Jimjams · 05/10/2005 14:12

oh god ladybunderful we probably know people in common. I know one of Steve's ex-PhD students from years ago!

Caligula · 05/10/2005 14:13

It's not a "right" in that everyone has a right to children and their human rights are being outraged if they don't conceive. But it's a right in the sense that the state doesn't have the right to sterilise you or force you to have terminations against your will, even if you're the sort of person the state doesn't approve of.

It also has implications for cases where social workers put in applications to take away babies from mothers as soon as they are born, because of supposed MSbP.

LadyFioOfTipton · 05/10/2005 14:16

tbh i was really worried i wouldnt be able to have kids and thought i better start trying young as it wouldnt happen for years (lord knows why i thought that) fell preg at 21

ladybundyful · 05/10/2005 14:21

ooer jimjams...he doesn't do many radio progs these days but i do bump into him at parties..er...i mean conferences

saadia · 05/10/2005 14:52

Caligula and monkeytrousers, that's what I thought as well but I had no idea how to word it.

handlemecarefully · 05/10/2005 14:58

Someone tell me quick (haven't got time to read the thread)...I want a 3rd - should I crack on and do it NOW???? (I'm 37). I was going to put it off until I am 39.

Conceived first time of trying with first two children (aged 34 and 35) so complacently (and erroneously?) assuming I am hyper fertile....

philippat · 05/10/2005 15:00

There was a bit on the Today programme about this the other day. The interviewee (one of the scientists I presume, I was half asleep) said 'women need to stop being selfish and waiting for the right man to come along'

muminlondon · 05/10/2005 15:02

silly prat

handlemecarefully · 05/10/2005 15:03

Que? - what shag the wrong man just to make sure you procreate before the age of 35? Was she tripping?

expatinscotland · 05/10/2005 15:04

Let's all aim to fall pregnant in our early 20s, partner or no, and then get on the dole since we're supposed to stay home w/them, too.

HMC, I'm 30 weeks pregnant now w/no. 2 and hats off to anyone wanting to be pregnant THREE times, much less at 39.

I'm 34 and feel about 80 just now.

This will be our last.

Caligula · 05/10/2005 15:09

But I thought it was supposed to selfish to have children with the wrong man just because you want children?

Ho hum, I guess women are just selfish, aren't they.

Mimi5 · 05/10/2005 15:09

Expat! I am pg albeit with no 5 - and about to turn 38! Feel 9000 years old and like i did when 40 weeks with earlier pg's ( twenties all bar one)

I would never judge someone waiting till later but feeling this old and worn out must affect some of my ability to parent...even if its just chasing a tantrumming toddler!

LadyFioOfTipton · 05/10/2005 15:12

err I wasnt on the dole, i worked full time had my own mortgage on a HOUSE and a car and a dog and a husband and a van and a garden and a hamster, which we had to adopt as my sister was allergic and a rabbit aswell

muminlondon · 05/10/2005 15:17

Lucky you're not saddled with huge amounts of student debt then. Which is probably why the average age of a first time buyer is now 34.

LadyFioOfTipton · 05/10/2005 15:22

thanks for the thought but we both have degrees which we did whilst working and we are saddled with debt because we have a special needs child, does that make you feel better

expatinscotland · 05/10/2005 15:45

it wasn't mean to be a personal attack, fio, it's just that things are VERY different for different people.

Personally, I had severe PND after DD was born. Had I had a baby w/no partner my child would have had to go into care or to live with relatives b/c I was so ill. So I'm glad I waited till I did have a partner to have a child, even though I had her at 32 instead of 25 or whatever age research deems optimal.

muminlondon · 05/10/2005 15:53

I'm impressed. It took me until I was 32 to afford a flat and I didn't even have any student debts because I went to university when there were still grants and fees were free. I must have chosen the wrong job or it's something to do with living in London.

LadyFioOfTipton · 05/10/2005 16:00

I;m really sorry i think i have PMT i amtaking everything personal and I should just shut up, sorry

yes think prices in London are hideous muminlondon

muminlondon · 05/10/2005 16:12

it's OK! debts or not, I really didn't meet the right person till my 30s, and that's not because I was being choosy.