Disability benefits should be cut

[benandoli]

OK so if a family has a child with a disability which results in that family having extra costs then they should have disability benefit and use the money to cover those costs. I am sure that many families in this situation should receive more. However, can someone please explain to me why a family who have a child with a disability, adhd or autism for example , where extra costs do not result , where the earning potential of the family has not changed as a result or indeed where the family never worked anyway should receive extra funds courtesy of the tax payer. Also why should parents in this situation receive a carers allowance and then work less hours as a result of the allowance rather than as a result of the caring that needs to be done? Many families are well deserving I know and they should probably get more, but many are working the system and getting their kids over diagnosed.

Why would they though. The money is available and rightly or wrongly gets paid into their account each month so they take it. We did once discuss if they ought to refuse it, but decided that if they are entitled then they will continue to take it. There are no needs that separate dc from peers really. Not in the way that money could help with.

In the long term I think they are saving some of it towards what will be a very expensive time for him as an adult. Thats when they will really need the help.

That is what they are going to do but they have had a couple of holiday first!! They are not wealthy even though both work and the extra money really helps.

They have started a saving scheme to use to help in the future.

I do not begrudge them it but think it is families such as theirs that the op is talking about.

I haven't read the entire thread but didn't want to read and run in light of the bizarreness of the OP.

Have you considered moving jobs to something more fitting your views. I believe there are several countries in the world with vacancies for dictatorships.

Where's the news story btw? This is surely for politics? No?

I'm lucky enough to have two children with no special needs, and therefore have bugger all specialist knowledge but I think I might know what you mean. I think that there may be a tendency to 'label' behavioural problems so every kid who is a bit of a sod is 'hyperactive/ADHD' - perhaps by overstretched teachers or parents who need an explanation when things are going wrong. Again, a minority case thing, teeny tiny minority.

But those parents do not get DLA as far as I know until they have convinced experts that their kid really has a problem and from what I read on Mumsnet even if your child has severe problems, it's bloody hard to get that diagnosis.

And for those kids who do have autism at least (I know a bit about autism from friends who have autistic children) and no, they can't go to work full time because the school provision doesn't do wraparound care for them and they can't get childcare because they can't cater for a kid who cannot communicate or toilet themselves.

So you are being a bit of a trolleyhead IMHO.

But Starlight - nobody is saying that people such as you who need the money shouldnt get it. You need the money so you can do things, buy services for you dc.

The question is for those families where the child is officially classed as requiring the benefit but is actually leading a 'normal' (whatever normal is but you know what i mean - I dont mean to be offensive but cant think hwo to say it) life. There is no need for the money in those cases surely.

but who decides that they are leading a "normal" like.
oh let me guess, someone like th ill informed OP

"They manage to leave the son alone or with other people when it suits them."

Thank goodness that they are able to do that. You might call it a holiday, other people like myself would also call it respite. If the son's autism is so severe that one of his parents had to take early retirement to continue looking after him, then also thank goodness that they are financially equipped to do so.

2 shoes - if you read my replies you will see that in the case i am talking about the family have decided they dont need the money and their child is leading a 'normal' life. And the dc is leading exactly the same life as their other dc who doesnt get the benefit.

Mind you they fully intend taking the money and will use it to have a better quality of life for the family, and save towards the future, so it is not wasted.

can I just say that those parents who are claiming for money when their childs issues do not result in any additional costs or expenditure are likley to have lied on the form.

Because if you fill in the form honestly and say 'actually I can leave my child with other people, I don't need him to be supported all thetime, he has no need of additional help in order to access activities abd hobbies, he needs no special food... ' they are very unlikely to be offered any DLA or minimum rate.
Because the DLA is for the person who has the disability to allow them to lead as normal a life as possible. If they need no help to do that then the applying is effectively lying.
Which makes the OPs gripe with benefit cheats and not with genuine DLA recipients. And makes the heading - the deliberately provocative heading - likely to result in exactly the type of flaming she got.

If she wanted to discuss people falsly claiming DLA there are ways to have that conversation. She was not trying to do that - she was suggesting that ASD/ADHD does not result in additional costs which a) is generally bollocks and b) if true, means the people she suggests are claiming it are fibbing on their application.

Also some 'additional amounts' are not obvious to outsiders. For example at age 14 DS2 still needs to be escorted to the cinema. So for a similar child to DS2 the parents are spending money on a ticket for a carer when a 14 year old child should be able to go alone.

In my experience parents/carers get so used to the fact that they have to find these additional costs that they need to be reminded that this costs beyond what parents of NT children have to budget for, rather than looking to find excuses to claim

Actually I backtrack as the child I am talking about will need escorting to the cinema etc. Dc will never grow up as fast as other children.

The money was not needed while dc was young as dc was no different to peers. However, difference will become more pronounced I suppose and for that they will need the money.

Wow OP you would hate me.

I use ds's DLA to run a car and for dc and I to belong to a posh gym/swimming club........

To the uninformed and on the surface I am living the life of Riley but let me explain why I choose to use the money this way.

I have one child with Autism. His Dad is around but a bit of a selfish twat so I am alone with my dc pretty much 24/7, I probably get 3 hours a week off.

I run a car because my ds while being obsessed with public transport is pretty much terrified of using it. If you ever happen to be in London look out for the screaming 7 year old on the tube platform who is too scared to even move a step. Then of course there are the school refusing days where it would honestly be a case of me literally carrying or dragging my ds the mile to school with him biting, punching and kicking me all the way.

Now let us move on to the Gym/Swimming Club (we need the car to get there too!) At the Gym/Swimming Club there is a childrens club with SN trained staff and my ds is currently being taught to swim by an amazing swimming instructor who has over 10 years of being a support worker for autistic kids, in the two years after diagnosis I have not been offered this kind of support or opportunity for my ds by anyone else so damn right I will use his DLA to pay for it privately. This is one sport my ds is actually able to do because it does not involve interacting with anyone else or being part of a team. I have found his THING if you like and I don't think you could put a price on that. Any parent of an autistic child will understand why I was tearful with happiness to see my child actually swimming and wanting to do it.

But yes on the surface you could say that I look like I have things pretty cushty really. Car (11 years old and on its last legs) and visits to a swimming club almost every day. As for me? Well I get to go to the gym once a week for an hour or so.

As for using his autism not to have to work. Well anyone out there who will give me a job between the hours of 10 and 2 where they are happy for me to go off every day (sometimes 3 x a day!!) to calm my ds down when he is struggling at school, while also understanding that I may not return that day if my ds needs to be taken home, also who will allow me to come in late as it usually takes him a while to settle in the mornings or maybe his 1:1 is late and I daren't leave him alone until she arrives. Well anyone with a job like that, please PM me as I will accept with alacrity.

It scares me to death that you are a SENCo OP it really does. Our new one seems pretty clueless, is that you Ds's SENCo?

Yes. That is often the case I think frogety.

DLA is determined by the additional support a child needs, compared to his peers, in order to have as 'normal' a childhood/life as possible.
The differences, the additional costs often do get more pronounced as a child gets older.

"In my experience parents/carers get so used to the fact that they have to find these additional costs that they need to be reminded that this costs beyond what parents of NT children have to budget for, rather than looking to find excuses to claim"

100% true IMVHO.

Ds1's DLA pays for any special needs holiday clubs we can get him into, or for me to be able to stay at home during the school holidays since the clubs are few and far between. I could risk putting him in an ordinary holiday club, but as his teacher at his very structured, very aware special school is having to relook at strategies to manage his behaviour there, probably not a good idea.
It pays for printer paper and ink and crayons for the social stories and for his obsession with drawing and writing.
It pays for additional electricity costs, the extra running of the washing machine, the lights on all night in his room, the computer that links up to programmes like the Something Special site or Do to Learn, or even ones like In the Night Garden that settle him when he's anxious and overwhelmed.
It pays for us to be able to afford a house with an extra bedroom, so that when he is overexcited and unable to settle, he no longer jumps around shouting and disturbing his brother. Also means he has a quiet place of his own to go to.
It pays for us to be able to get the bus back if he's struggling to cope in town, rather than trying to walk him back.

When we get off our backsides and put in the claim that Ds2 needs, it will be used for:

1:Additional electricity costs.
2:Cost of new light bulbs when he's popped yet another one.
3:Paying back the cost of the new part we had to get after he broke the boiler with his obsession with switches. Also the special allover socket cover - including extra for next day delivery - to prevent it happening again.
4:Paying back the cost of the special sash window fastener we had to get for one of the windows.
5: Paying for the nappies he's in full time still.
6: Additional washing costs.
7: Enabling him to be able to have a room of his own and therefore a quiet place to settle.
8: Cost of special needs holiday clubs or for me to not have to work during the holidays. He needs very close supervision, nappy changes and one to one help to enable him to access any form of social activity.

I've not been fully comprehensive with these needs. But DLA makes a big difference to us.

Bullet, it's not respite, the son goes with them. They do an adventurous sport, which is lovely because it's something that they can all do together, but that would be true of any family, the autism makes no difference. They leave him for whole weekends to go to music festivals, and like I said, he is getting his own house when they have finished redecorating it thanks to the DLA/carers allowance. The Father did not need to retire to look after him, he chose to do so. Both parents have worked for years and the son has been fine.

Maybe I should start claiming. The money could pay for the martial arts lessons that benefit my ASD ds because he is very competative, and he gets to interact with others while not being part of a team. It also helps him to understand when things hurt other people, and recognise his own strength. Oh, and it could pay for the car and the petrol to get us there too. The class would benefit NT ds2 as well, but I guess that's irrelevant.

It could pay for the books that we have bought on the subject to learn more about ds's condition, and help him and his brother to understand too.

It could pay for the mind games club that he also enjoys, probably because of his high IQ, which is associated with his ASD.

I could use it to pay for the transport to hospital, and the extra meetings that I have to go to at school.

And extra cinema tickets, my swimming session, bowling, all because it will be a long time befor ds can do those things without me or his Dad around.

A bigger house would be great, ds finds it really hard to concentrate on things when there is even the tiniest distraction because of sensory overload, so to give him his own bedroom, with space for a desk, would definately be a great help.

Or, just maybe, I could see these things as a normal part of parenting costs, get on with it, and leave the money in the pot to buy continence aids and wheelchairs.

Did I miss the MN witchhunt? Or did posters come with information to educate the OP? TBH I can see where she's coming from, there must be some instances where people are given blanket benefits that fall short or overstate their needs.

Fine. You do that Curly. But there is no way in hell I'm going to feel guilty for having applied, got and be spending the DLA money that my Ds1 is entitled to.

Or, just maybe, I could see these things as a normal part of parenting costs, get on with it, and leave the money in the pot to buy continence aids and wheelchairs.

what a n odd thing to say

Although I am quite grateful about that part. Because Ds2 is still in nappies fulltime at the age of 5, which is not normal and having to change him between 4 and 6 times a day is not normal for me or his dad or his teachers to have to do. So Curlymama leaving her son's DLA money in the pot for my Ds2's nappy costs, if we are successful when we claim for him, will be much appreciated .

Bullet - that's the whole point! Of course no body should expect you to feel guilty for claiming your childs DLA. It is not reasonable to expect to that your child is going to be in nappies full time when he is 5. But it is reasonable to expect that when you have children you might need to buy some books, pay for some extra curricular classes, and shell out for a few hospital visits.

Well- I have a good friend who has a child SN No physical disability. She claims dla.

She is relatively well off and never had any intention of working, disabled child or not!

She puts the extra money in an account to spend on clothes for her and the dcs.

Gosh -- I'm in favour of getting people off benefits when they're taking the piss. But I think MORE needs to go to carers. Give all the savings to carers, as far as I'm concerned. They seem to get a rough deal. I think your OP is tremendously thoughtless.