I wrote this on the other thread (there is one in AIBU as well):
"I have to say, my heart sank when I heard the announcement on CB.
we are a higher earning household (dh works, i don't - I care for dd1, who is severely ASD)
yes, dh's wage slips show a decent salary.
in the past 3 years we have:
had to move house twice, chasing appropriate schooling for dd1. our current rent (we have to live where we do, again because of dd1's schooling) is triple what our mortgage was before we had to move. we still own (hah! the bank does, inreality) our house, which is rented out - it covers it's mortgage and management fees, but of course our outgoings have tripled.
we have paid: £30k the first year for dd1's ASD pre-school; £50k last year for her schooling, plus
Ed Psych fees, legal fees to take the LA to court, private OT (none provided for pre-schoolers, none provided for children with no gross motor delays, none provided for children who don't have a physical disability - the list of excuses changes every time you ask) - this costs £100 per hour, dd1 goes weekly. Tbh, the list goes on as to what we have paid out for dd1 to just get a suitable education.
currently, the LA are paying her fees (we won the legal fight), but her statement is up for review in December, as it will be annually, and no doubt we will have to fight again. I expect there will be further years where we pay her fees, while we fight to keep her in the only school which has enabled her to learn.
I am bloody grateful that we can afford all this, but of course the money is not just sitting htere - it all has to be budgeted for.
and, when the bills all come in at once, there has been many a time when the CB is what has been used to put food on the table, and clothes on our backs.
so, we are to lose CB. but I notice that we are not guaranteed to never have to pay out like we have had to do so far for dd1.
life sucks, sometimes."
I agree with Lenin on this too - there is no way my general stauts should be dependent on what dh earns, or doesn't earn.
We are married, not joined at the hip.
There is precious little chance of me being able to earn anything at all in the next few years - caring puts paid to that (and there is an interesting question mark over Carer's allowance too - looks like it might be lumped in as part of the Universal Credit thing, which means many would lose that too)