Apology for the M6 jumper thread

[aStere]

I don't want to cause any more controversy, just to say sorry and explain my actions, then I'll go again.

I just wanted to come on and apologise for the thread I started on Friday which offended many people. Instead of making a clear point and beginning an intelligent discussion, I was sarcastic and insensitive, and failed to make any point at all (except that I am capable of making myself sound like a complete dick, apparently). I did ask for it to be deleted as soon as I realised people were upset, but it took a little while for the thread to come off altogether.

I work with people who deal with depression and personal crisies and have got used to discussing topics as they do, with lots of pragmatism and dry humour, but I should not assume that most people approach those topics in the same way. You don't know my circumstances, and I don't know yours, so I shouldn't have started with such a blunt and tactless opening post then fail to explain myself properly when I was challenged.

The point that I should have simply stated was this:

I didn't think that it was fair that a man who needed help asked for it in such a high-profile and disruptive way that he put a lot of other people's lives and situations at risk. I think that everyone who needs help should receive it and would give (and have given) many many hours to try and help someone who no longer sees the value of their own life, but in this case, many other lives were endangered too. In my own car I had a hungry and hysterical baby, other children with asthma, and a six-year old boy with a serious medical condition who would need emergency intervention if he had a seizure or lost conciousness. Mine was just one of thousands of cars trapped that day, so there will have been many more vulnerable people who were essentially held hostage with no access to help (the hard shoulder was blocked from all the vehicles that had over-heated or run out of fuel). Multiple motorway closures were necessary to make sure the man didn't harm anyone and had the chance to get help, but once the incident was several hours in, there were thousands of lives at risk instead of just one. In my opinion the police should either go to greater lengths to free the people who were stuck, or allow less time to pass before physically approaching the man and trying to remove him from the situation.

Sorry for not stating my point more clearly earlier, for making rushed and arrogant posts, and for the offense I caused.

I was in a similar incident in 2002 on the M1

a helicopter had to airlift a dehydrated baby that day

I'm glad you came back and posted. And I think you bring up some good points, wrt to him asking for help in this way - my best friend attempted suicide. Up until that point she'd asked for help so many times and not received it, it took her needing paramedics to be offered help.

I'm glad you came back to apologise.
It's such a shame that people get to the point where they take such drastic action as wanting to jump from a bridge. Sadly, many people do not get the help they need before it gets to that point.

Well done for coming back to mumsnet and explaining.

I think what annoyed people, or at least annoyed me, was not just your OP (which could be treated as a joke) but your implication that you could have handled the situation better, and in fact seemingly showing off that you have successfully handled suicide situations in the past.

That detracted from your very real argument that people are not just inconvenienced by a motor way delay but are also put in a huge amount of discomfort - people with diabetes for instance, or children with special needs, or babies who need more milk. For that, you may have a point that something needs to change in the way these situations are handled.

Didn't see the original thread so don't want to drag it all up, but vaguely remember that Durkheim said there were four types of suicide - one of which is egoistic suicide.

I think it occurs when people have basically lost ties and any kind of empathy with the rest of society, and when decide to commit suicide they often choose a method that causes maximum disruption to other people.

In short, I guess this chap's suicide method was as much of a reflection of his state of mind as the fact that he wanted to commit suicide at all?