The sad story of the mother with disabled daughter

[BAFE]

I've been unable to get this out of my head since reading it yesterday

article here

that must be one of the worst ways of dying I can think of . How lonely and desparate must she have felt.

Same here Bafe.
I can't help thinking what the poor dd must have been through. It's so sad that people didn't look in on them more often and they clearly had so little help.

At the same time as feeling sad about the daughter,I also feel angry with the mother. She knew she was going to die before her daughter and should have planned accordingly. And I gather she refused offers of help and isolated her and her dd more and more as time went by.

At least the daughers death was preventable.

I'm so sorry to hear about your awful experience starlight.

I'd definately go to the newspapers with the story if I were you. At the very least it will raise awareness of these sad situations.

This happened down the road from me. Was quite surprised as I know people who live in that village and I understood there was quite a community feel.

Have to say I suspect Starlight might be right and the 'help' they were offered wasn't much cop at best. Woman on the news from a voluntary agency said she'd offered a day centre for the dd to go to. Well, maybe they looked round the day centre and it wasn't the right place for the dd or equipped to meet her needs - some of them are a bit like dumping rounds with nasty members of staff. (Am not being unreasonable here, my sister used to work in one like that and was deeply depressed by some of the attitudes amongst the staff.)

Or maybe the mother saw it as 'getting rid' of her dd and felt guilty. Maybe the council turned down a request for carers to come in and help and only offered the day centre. Loads of reasons why what is offered may not be right for that person.

Think the mother died from a heart attack, so it was sudden. Agree with others though that the, 'refused help' from social services translated as the mother probably asking for specific help which was inappropriate, therefore social services could tick the boxes as having fulfilled their obligations and close the file

I live v close to the house and was really saddened. We don't know what they were offered. If I didn't see my neighbours for a while it would raise some concerns.

Very sad. Apparently the mother had a sister in the locality as well as neighbours yet noone raise the alarm sooner . Given that she was apparently Swiss (where private healthcare is the norm) she would probably have found a way of funding additional care herself had she felt it necessary.

She was in her 50s so may well have left Switzerland many decades ago. And may not have had enough money to pay for social care - it ain't free and it ain't cheap.

Very sad - plenty of people rushing from the council and neighbourhood now to say 'Oh we really wanted to help' Where were they then ? This family were not anyone's concern or priority when they needed it most - but then that is just typical and not in any way a 'failure' by the Social Services - as far as they are concerned they did all they were expected to do.

trouble is with the cuts that are going to be made to services this is the kind of story we will see more of.
ss don't give a monkeys, they have to cut costs so will not bother chasing up a case.

I meant not a failure by their standards - that seems to be what they are saying anyway. What I meant was what is actually available is very little not that there is a great service that we all somehow fail to access

"refusing help" means nothing.

I refused the first "help" offered by our SS because I didn't think ds1 would be safe. I refused the second offer because I thought ds1 would end up run over or lost. I accepted the third because the new provision they had opened was excellent and ideal for ds1 and he has flourished there.

But until they opened that, there was nothing on offer.