Unfair complaint to SPA

[Mayavi]

Hi,

This is my first post here and I’m almost certain it’s not under the correct topic, so please feel free to correct it or suggest a more appropriate one.

I’d be grateful if this is read without prejudice.

I’m looking for some advice after an event that has taken place between us and my daughter’s school. She is 4 and goes to a nursery/school nearby.
We have 2 other babies, as well, and all of them are hitting their milestones way ahead of expected timeframes.

Every morning, we have a little ritual where all of us gather in her room to wake her up, she playfully resists and we all have a lot of fun, laughter and giggles in getting her ready. Unfortunately, a few days ago, she got hurt in the process and got a tiny scratch on her head. I did the immediate first aid with a cold compress and cuddles and dad made sure she was fine.

While dropping her off at the nursery, I mentioned the injury to the teacher, so they were aware and could keep an eye on it, who then checked and recorded it as a “little red dot at the back of the head”.

Later dad got a call from the nursery asking him what had happened and he relayed that she got hurt whilst getting ready and it was all fun and games. He was not told at this point that they had already reported it to the Single Point of Access. The teacher acknowledged and appreciated the fact that these accidents can happen.
Then he got an email from the nursery saying that we were being reported to Child Welfare for an investigation. This was extremely upsetting as the insinuation was that we had hurt our child intentionally and felt disgusted by the failed judgement.

I, having no knowledge of the email or the call to dad, spoke to the teacher at the pick-up and the teacher apologised saying she didn’t know the whole story, which was a lie as dad had already described the incident.

Dad later got a call from Child Welfare who asked us about the incident and agreed that the nursery had made a mistake, however, because the process had already started, they would have to make visits for up to 45 working days.

Since then, the morning laughs and giggles have disappeared. I can’t muster the courage to go in our daughter’s room and am sliding into depression. The family feels broken and let down.

I’m looking for advice on what our rights and options are to make this right, in this case, because an authority has made a mistake and kicked off a process which impacts us negatively.

I don’t think you have the right category, maybe ask mnhq to move it Parenting or Mental Health(report your post with the … top right) . The nursery have a duty to report any safeguarding concerns, there have been enough high profile sad cases which have had opportunities to intervene missed. Contesting it now will be counterproductive and best to comply with any visits and it should be dismissed. Is SPA a service related to mh? Do you have support with your mh? Ask your gp and hv for help and advice. Do you get a break from the dc as 3 under 5 must be difficult to manage.

The school are obligated to report to social services. They have not made a mistake. As tiny as it may have been, your daughter had a visible injury. The procedures are there to protect her and children like her.

The way you make it right is to cooperate 100% with social services. If they investigate and see that all is well, they will close the case.

I'm sorry this has happened to you OP. You'll get lots of responses telling you "better that everyone gets reported than that one person gets away with abuse" but really, those people have no idea the damage vexatious reports do to families. It sounds like 45 days is the timescale SS have given themselves to complete their preliminary investigation and make a decision. Is that correct? There should be a multi-agency meeting at some point where you can voice that you don't think your family needs support and social services will listen to your point of view on this unless they have some deeper concerns.

Our nursery did this to us and it was so stressful. Honestly. It's so nasty and underhanded to report parents over a minor injury, it's no wonder no one has kids these days. They are not duty bound to report minor injuries at all, it's overzealous/anxious nursery staff. No wonder SS is totally swamped!

Anyway the social worker we were assigned was excellent and during her investigation she supported me in taking the kids out of that nursery and getting them elsewhere.

So yes it's stressful and utterly shit that this is happening to you but don't be afraid of SWs, OP; there are some really good ones out there. Feel sorry for them for having to waste their time investigating because of whatever crap the nursery told them.

I know it's not easy right now but try not to worry and just go along with the process.

Thanks for the responses, everyone.

It’s just heartbreaking that despite knowing the facts, a poor judgement call has been made which they now acknowledged in writing.

@LIZS - The SPA is the Single Point of Access which can be used only by institutions for referring people to services, which also includes mental health.

@Mareleine - Yes, they have 45 “working” days to finish assessment.

@DwarfPalmetto - Checking with CAB, I’ve learned that the school are not obligated to report unless they sense abuse and they have other history to evidence it, which in this case isn't true.

However, now that we’re in the process, I will be complying with whatever the "powers that be” need to assess. But I have completely lost trust in the system and don’t know what verdict could be passed just because someone is having a bad day.