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Human rights

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Original poster

social services chin meeting

13 replies

chobb · 07/05/2014 19:03

Hi all im having one of these meetings and would like to know what to expect, if anyone has any experience of them could they share. Also they are on about offering me support from the school, surestart, and health visitor I would like to know what support this is not just examples but all of it because they won't tell me. They also said if I say no to the support it will raise concern with me? Does anyone know what that means? Thanks all in advance

OP posts:

NigellasDealer · 07/05/2014 19:05

what do you mean by 'chin' meeting?
my advice would be just co-operate with whatever they say as much as you can.

hatgirl · 07/05/2014 19:07

do you mean a CIN meeting? Children In Need?

it is as you have described... they feel you need support and want to offer it to you.

I recommend www.childprotectionresource.org.uk or www.frg.org.uk (family rights group) for more information about social services processes

Original poster

chobb · 07/05/2014 19:13

Child in need meeting

OP posts:

NigellasDealer · 07/05/2014 19:15

well look do not worry too much, but if they want to offer you support then take it, and try not to complain if the support is not really useful.
What you really have to do is co-operate with them and take on what they are saying.

Spero · 07/05/2014 19:21

I agree with nigella, I know it's daunting, but try to go in with an open mind and hoping that something positive will come of it - the support might be useful.

If you don't find it useful, try not to reject it out of hand or get hostile, that might be seen as a red flag to them, they clearly think there is something to worry about or they wouldn't have the meeting.

If you can get a good honest dialogue going then it's win win for everyone: you all have the same aim which is the welfare of your child.

Good luck, hope it goes ok.

NoIamAngelaHernandez · 07/05/2014 19:26

It is a good idea to accept all support offered and engage with it.

Do you know why your child / children are the subject of a Child in Need meeting?

Spero · 07/05/2014 22:11

Yes, if you don't know or you are not sure what is going on it is very important that someone can explain to you. Get them to set out in very clear terms what they think the problem is and what they want you to do, how long you have got to do it and what they are going to do to help you. Hopefully they will set it out in writing.

Nennypops · 08/05/2014 21:06

Your child may well be a child in need purely due to health problems or disability. You and s/he are entitled to support and help and that may be what the CiN meeting is about.

missmeldrew · 29/07/2014 20:29

Stay calm, speak when spoken to and answer only what they ask. Don't lose your cool, don't lose your temper. A reaction from you could be what they are looking for. You won't agree with all they say but you need to work with them, see things from their point of view. I've been to a few and they helped me understand a lot. In a way I felt like an inadequate parent but it did make me realise where I was going wrong.
Just stayin calm is the best advise I can give.

maggidee · 01/08/2014 09:50

I wouldn't trust them or rely on any of them for help. Has anyone ever heard or knoen anyone who has had a child removed by forced adoption? I do n they tried to take my kids too...I needed support n anyone jst to understand. ..I hve now got fibromyagia n yes I blame sw for acc me of being an unfit parent n making me bit most importantly my kids suffer. This unfit mum who I mst add..brought my 3kids up soley on my own n through jelousy they had a complaint I was n never..they knew but I will never forget or get over the years of torture we had gone through. ..my 3kids r all grown up n my daughter is school teacher my eldest done engineerring n CAD at college n uni n my youngest son is self employed joiner. ..I soley brought my kids up on my own n received No financial or any support whatsoever. ..does yhis sound like an unfit parent? I seriously wouldn't believe a word that came out there mouths!! I despise sw...sorry but I know a few who were offered support n don't hve there kids today..a site on fb..sw stole our children...if I was u I wud hve a look n talk to people on there n im sure u can then dec what to do...hope u get on well

feathermucker · 14/09/2014 00:27

Not helpful at all Magidee!! NOT all SW are like that and telling a person who is asking for help that they are is a terrible thing to do!

OP, not sure what stage you're at now but I've been where you are; PN me if you need any help

Selks · 14/09/2014 00:47

A CIN meeting will bring together all relevant agencies involved e.g. someone from school, family support, health etc etc, and parents of the child concerned to share information and plan ways forwards to offer support and address any issues flagged up.
They are not looking for fault, and are not designed to trip you up or make things worse, the idea is to put a package of support together from the people involved, for the child concerned and to help parents do what they need to do. People will speak openly about what is going well, and what is not. I've attended many CIN meetings due to my job, and people are always respectful to parents, even if they have to speak honestly about any issues.
I can appreciate that meetings like that are nerve racking, but be yourself, don't go on the defensive or be aggressive, and work with the services involved, and it will go well. However it's fine for you to say your opinion about things and if you disagree with anything anyone says, do speak out. Nobody will think badly of you for that. Good luck.

DaughterDilemma · 14/09/2014 00:55

Good luck OP i think most people would be terrified to be in your position. Remember it's not about you, it's about the child or children. Use the resources they have to offer you. Try and have a friend or family member with you if you are allowed.

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