Ahem.... blockage in the loo (TMI alert)!

[JollyPirate]

Honestly didn't know whether to put this here or in Children's Health.

So DS has a habit of withholding his poo for up to three days so that when he finally does let it go he produces something the size of a small torpedo (I did warn you about tmi).

Anyway - last night's "torpedo" is still fecking well there. The fecker just refuses to flush away. Any ideas which don't involve me donning a pair of gloves! TIA.

long marigold and hand down the ubend . straight into plastic bag and into outside bin.

Unless you have particularly horrible neighbours....

Try covering the whole top of the pan with a bin bag and hold it quiet tight while you flush. The vaccum sometimes helps get rid of things and it is always worth a try before doning the gloves.

Phew! An extra long flush and it has finally gone. Time to commence the Movicol methinks.

Thanks for the ideas..... will keep them in mind for next time

For next time - the way my mother deals with giant lurking turds (and poor thing, she has to deal with quite a lot thanks to all of us visiting quite regularly...) is to take a bucket of water and pour it with force down the pan from a height - a couple of feet will do. Not so forceful that you soak the bathroom, just not in a trickle IYSWIM. It acts like an extra flush and forces the lurker on its way.
Failing that, caustic soda.

Would any of you SERIOUSLY put your hand down the lav and fish out a turd, then throw it in the bin????

Ruddy norah emsyj, i'm quite that you let your poor mum deal with huge turds in her toilet that have been produced by your family!!

Oh and will remember caustic soda.....

My DB peggotty! I don't take responsibility for his turds! He only does about 3 a year and they seem to have a density that no earthly substance can match. When I say 'all of us' I mean myself and siblings! I do an occasional one myself, but I will take the bucket to it if it's my, um, product that's responsible for a blockage.

For future reference its known as a Plumber's Bonus

Hot water works too.. dissolves stuff.

Well the bucket sounds a lot more civilised than my method until now. Which is to attack the turd with the handle of the loo brush until it disintigrates. And then throw the brush away. What a total idiot I am

Ok, fair enough sorry thought you meant your kids. My DB has a habit of dropping in to see my mum on the way home from work and apparently ALWAYS manages to stink the toilet out.

@ Plumbers Bonus - have just spat tea everywhere...

If this happens again, use a variation of a Pooh stick. Just get a short stick (bamboo canes for runner beans from the garden centre are good because you can break off a short length each time) and then just have at the b*gger until it fragments. Swearing is also useful.

I had to do that once when my DS had some mates around and the deposit was improbably large and so dense it was obviously going to lurk for eternity. No, I never found out who was the culprit.

I threw the stick into the weeds at the end of the garden. It probably killed off any lurking triffids.

I go for the bombing with extra bucket of water approach myself, but be warned, if you get that wrong the toilet can overflow. And then you'll wish you had uglymugly's bamboo cane instead. The extra water trick is a one time only, don't keep doing it type solution.

Keep pouring lots of hot water onto the said offending turd. It will start to break up then flush and pour in from a height a large jug full of water.

That normally gets rid of DSs turds and his are massive! (when I say massive I mean they disappear into the U bend and stick out of the water at the other end)

You can also lob in biological washing powder and watch it become fizzing poo soup.

Just not right after you put in caustic soda - well unless you fancy a brown splatter effect on the ceiling

Can I change this into a health query? Although after writing this I will be going upstairs with my large jug of hot water to deal with our loo-flushing issues...

My DD is the same as your DS, JollyPirate and does a brick every 3 or 4 days. DH keeps telling me it's unhealthy and can I make her more regular? (Not his department obviously!) I agree in a way, but don't want to pump her with laxatives - advice/experience anyone?

The post regarding bamboo canes reminded me of a thread recently where the dcs emerged downstairs with a "poo stick" which they had acquired from "daddy's loo"

Apparently the stick had caused some damage/soiling to the walls etc in the vicinity, not to mention the caused.

What I learnt from that thread: if you have a pooey bamboo cane in your home, get rid of it!

my parents keep a knife under the bath for such situations. [vom]

worrymonster - we have been through the mill with advice and Movicol, and before you resort to medication you could try making sure she has plenty roughage (fruit and veg but not bananas apparently; wholemeal cereals and bread - I know, have they never HAD children???) and drinks plenty of liquid.