What do you think about dp and me splitting our incomes like this?

[puffling]

We don't have a joint account and don't plan to. DP works full time and I'm about to work 3 days (slightly shorter than his days.) We've worked out our total income and our outgoings. Most outgoings come out of my account which means dp will continue to give me an amount a month to make us equal.
There's just one part of the arrangement that's bugging me. DP has a much bigger and more expensive car than me. He's therefore decided that I need about £150 less from him as he has higher car running costs, including putting aside more money to replace his car. His rationale for is that it's the family car and we'll do longer journeys in it together. I'm in agreement to a great extent tho' don't like him dictating the terms. I feel I should go along with it as I'm working less and earning less. Having said that, I do all housework, get dd up for school, collect her etc.
Apologies for long post. What do you think?

it sounds fair enough to me tbh.
so you basically pool all your money, pay all outgoings (incl your cars, his costs more so he has more money to cover costs) and then have roughly the same amount left over each to spend as you wish at the end for the month?

I think it's bizarre that you have a child but not a joint account.

It's not equal though is it.
Are you talking percentage wise or actual money, because you can bet your bottom dollar that the day to day running costs of the family will all be down to you too.
Including present buying school trips stuff, I could go on.
Why not do a joint account where you both pay into the correct percentage in each month and then see how that goes.
Then you will both have your 'own' money and the family responsilbilities are taken care of.

Do you get the same amount of personal spending money once you've divvied it all up? Cos I think that's the important thing. Yes, bigger car might be something to subsidise, but not if it means you can't buy a pair of shoes without checking with him.

i work 3 days and my partner works full time. his salary is 4 times what mine is but the wtc and ctc gets paid into my account, as does cb.

we have a joint account and we both pay in exactly the same amount each month. we worked out what all our bills were costing and included savings for the boys and we both pay in half each. there is usually a bit left over but we are saving that up.

what is left in our sole accounts is our own to spend as we please.

people have said to me that its not fair i have to pay half of the bills as he earns so much more (even with the tax credits and cb) but the way i see it is that i choose to earn less. i could choose to train myself/educate myself further to earn more money but i chose to be a part time employee and spend the rest of the time with the children/keeping house/seeing friends. it was my decision to pay half, its important for me to feel equal in the relationship, but it also makes things so much easier when it comes to paying bills.

would that be an option for you?

alternatively you could work out what percentage of your total combined income is made up by your wage and then you pay that percentage of the bills.

I find these arrangements bizzare. My husband is the main breadwinner we have joint accounts and I spend what is necessary. No questions. We are partners. He works, I work part time and keep house/do school runs/prepare yummy dinners etc etc. A friend of a friend had to buy her husbands car off of him. That's just plain wrong.

You say you are happy with the arrangements but to me it doesn't sound like it. Perhaps you need to talk to your husband about the things you have posted here. Once you have spoken you will at least have got it off your chest. Only you know your hubby and how he will react if you approach him about it. Everyone has a different approach to money but I do find it difficult to understand why some couples keep things so separate.

There are 2 fair ways for it to work:

you both have the same amount left to spend on yourselves

or you both have the same % of your total income left to spend on yourselves

but this only applies if you both work fulltime. If one of you works less in order to take care of children then you shouldn't have less money to spend because of thise.

You do know you can get a joint account for household expenses only (to help keep track of what is being spent) and still keep your own personal accounts? The danger with him paying you is that there coul dbe a million little things that you don't pay attention to in the budgeting but that actually cost you quite a bit of money over the month.

I think each family should decide what makes them feel comfortable. We don't have a joint account. Since I was very young adult I knew I wanted to have financial independence and it would be a thorn in my side if we had a joint account. I knew of couples (not everyone) who had joint accounts and one of the two cleans out the account. Lucky for me my DH feels the same. Strangely we really trust each other in every way. At the beginning of our relationship he had huge credit card bills. Which we discussed and he agreed with me on his salary this was ridiculous. He paid them all off. We have agreed not to have any secrets relating to money as this would break the trust we have for each other. So, DH pays all the utility bills & the mortgage. I then pay for everything relating to DS, food & household stuff (cushions, linen etc...) I also do the short term savings for holidays & fun stuff.
We don't do our accounts and might be better off if we did but it suits us. Well that's us.
puffling It sounds like the car thing is bugging you. I think you need to talk and to remember that you'll probably buy the extra stuff that makes family & home life cosy so you should budget for those and talk to him about it. I'm very lucky as DH loves me to make a fuss of our house & him.

I don't understand, perhaps it's the way you worded it, but you seem to be paying all the outgoings from your salary, what exactly is your DH paying for?

You should go to moneysavingexpert.com and download their free excel spreadsheet which has a brilliant ready made budget planner and fill it all out.

It has included most things in it, especially smaller outgoings that you may overlook. Fill it out and then you can both see how much you spend and you can tweek it for different scenarios. It will show monthly & yearly expenditure totals and can be a real eye opener.

Once you've done this, you can then discuss how to arrange the division of expenditure. Personally I would look at the real cost of running both cars (insurance, petrol, servicing, MOT, breakdown cover, depreciation) over the year and break that down monthly, tthis will give you both a realistic budget for car costs, hopefully without an unpleasant surprise.

Your husband or you, may not realise how much outgoings you cover, little things do mount up. It is also a good way of reining in unnecessary expenditure.

I find this bizarre too.

My DH works full time and earns £££££ more than I do. I work 25 hours a week.

We have a joint account which his salary is paid into all bills/mortgage/food/haircuts etc etc come out of this and I use whatever is necessary. The money I earn goes into a separate account and is used for holidays.

We do the joint account for bills thing and that works well. The relative proportions we pay into that have changed over time, as circumstances and salaries have changed, but we know that bills are covered and what is left in our personal accounts is for us to spend/save on whatever we want.

if you're not going to have a joint account for total income, then you should at least have one for joint expenses.

so you both put in a certain amount each month to cover bills, childcare, and anything for dc, household expenses (groceries/cleaning supplies etc).

then anything else should come out of your own accounts, including maintenance for his car if he's always the one driving it

Working less, earning less and doing housework does not give you more or less say on the matter.

ou have to agree whether the car is his choice, or a joint thing. And then finance accordingly.

For eg, DH choose to have Sky Sports.

We don't have a joint account either, but I do make sure we have the same money left over for our own purchases. If he's deciding to get a car over and above what you would choose, you could say that some of the car comes out of his "own purchases" money.

We have joint account adn all domestic expenditure comes out of that. I We pay in in % to our income, I pay about 25% less than DH. We keeep the rest of our money for ourselves, except DH is a sweetie and saves his up and pays for things like my car being repaired

we dont have joint account, i have worked out monthly outgoings and he pays half into my account, we earn roughly the same amount but i get to keep family allowance and £40 tax credit on op of my salary as it is me that does the outings, present buying etc.If his car is used as a family car, it should be considered a family outgoing. if he has gone and bought sports car for own use, maybe not.

why does he have 'the family car' if YOU are the one running the family around? my dsis & her dh split their money, but she has the bigger car to drop the kids to clubs, pick up friends etc.
otherwise sounds quite fair, if that is how you want to do it

I also find it odd that you are financially separate.

I am currently a student, supported by my DP, but that doesn't mean I am entitled to any less of the family income! It is a joint decision for us to invest in our future by me studying.

We are working as a team and when I worked part time, his wage covered bills and my smaller wage was for family expenditure - food/clothes/haircuts/whatever. We both have access to all accounts.

You are earning less because you are contributing to your family by caring for your DD and doing housework etc. That is a role that is recognised in divorce proceedings as having a financial value!
(not saying you are heading for divorce, but that your contribution is equal to bringing home the bacon!)

We dont have a joint account either... We are a family/partners & we always get everything paid thats the important thing... If you always have enough money to buy what you want and need and if you didnt could you ask your dh for some? Cause you do run the home take care of the children etc so do earn 4 times less then him and if you worked more he would have to pay halves on childcare so it kinda makes sence to me he should pay more then you...

i dont find it odd - we pretty much operate this way. I feel more secure and in control. however whatever is left over from either wage we both spend and we talk to each other about when and what we spend on.

however i dont get the car bit

as poster below said - how has he got the family car if you have the family most of the time?

if he wants a swanky car - he pays for it not you - if he's being arsey about it.