Just wanted to wiegh in on how hard marriage can be. I'm right there with you all. Actually my first one ended after 11 years which was devastating......for me, as he left. I know afterwards that he'd felt like he'd made a mistake walking away but it was all too late to repair. We had a fantastic relationship up until the last few months but here's my point: we had no children, could do what we liked, had expendable income, had been travelling round the world for three years free as birds.....how difficult is that???!
Now, I'm with a new partner and have two children with him, and we have been through more ups and downs in the last few years than I ever had with the first husband - but the love is stronger and more realistic in a way, because we have to deal with the mundainety, the sacrifices and the pressure; lack of sleep, pregnancies etc etc. You're forever readjusting when you have children and just when you get to understand the stage you're at, life picks you up and hulrs you somewhere else.
If you have all that going on PLUS other issues - health or otherwise - is it any wonder we all struggle?? I nearly walked away just before Christmas and didn't spend Christmas day with my two little ones because i was in such a state. Once we pulled through, I realised just how low I was at the time and that I was driving it. But it's not a blame thing it's just realising that things can feel so much more terrible than they really are, and somehow we just have to hang in there by our fingernails to make it work again.
The plusses of all this of cousre, is that shared experience, that investment, that understanding and the ties that run very deep. They are precious and need to be valued.
I think a lot of very wise women are on this post and I love your comments as they ring so true. And it's good we can share.If anyone says it's easy they're not doing it right!!