Help! Housework makes me FUME!

[Gentle]

Perhaps this would be better in mental health or relationships, but here goes...

Just had another morning of chipping away at housework and working myself up into a total state of .

I'm not very houseproud, nor are any of the family, but I do try and keep things hygienic and reasonably tidy.

However every second I spend on housework I'm fuming away about why the hell should I have to be cleaning up pants and stains, it's not fair, wah wah woe is me. If I do more than 2 hours in a row (which happens at least twice a week), I turn into a complete monster who thinks the whole family has got in in for her and is trying to ruin her life.

I know this is extremely childish but it's like a stuck record that starts up every time I get stuck in.

Am I the only person who feels like this and has anyone been able to overcome it? I've even tried to make housework fun with MP3 player and jaunty dusters but I still feel like it's a total waste of time.

Thats what I felt like this morning, a stuck record, [grr], although I feel a little more organised since I joined the slatterns things to do today lists, thread

pmsl at 'jaunty dusters'

yes I pmsl at that when I typed it too, sadly it is a truism. Bloody flowery things cost £3 I don't have and they still make me fume.

Housework is one of life's necessary jobs. It is no different to any other job: the school run, or washing your hair, or filling the car with petrol, or doing the grocery shopping.

Are you doing all the housework for all your family? Are you getting an unfair deal on boring but necessary jobs in your family? Can you work out a fairer deal?

BonsoirAnna I think I probably am, although DH does do the odd school run and washes the dishes most nights. Doesn't seem fair to me but when I try and raise the subject I get the old doe eyes and "But I've just done the dishes! AND I picked up from school!"

I did suggest a housework rota pinned up on the wall and this was refused "in case any visitors see it" ??!?!

Don't want to turn this into an "aren't men crap" though - I'm more interested in why I have this avoidance/anger thing.

If it really does wind you up that much then I'd get a cleaner in to do it for you!
Do a couple of evenings a week babysitting or something to pay for it (thats assuming that babysitting doesnt ENRAGE you as well?)

It sounds like your anger and avoidance are understandable because the division of labour is unfair. Your DH does have to pull his weight in the house and so should your children, depending on their age.

Pick a day when your DH hasn't just washed up and confront him with the taks that need doing and how little of them he does. Then draw up a rota - it doesn't have to be framed and stuck on the wall FGS!

Cleaner can't be done I'm afraid.

I have tried to shift from thinking of it as something that you can get 'done' to something you have to have a routine about so it does get done - the kind of routine that doesn't matter if you miss a day, you just get back on track. I won't bore you with the details, but a quick tidy round before we leave the house in the morning (just stuff in the right place) and once the kids are in bed really helps. DH is reasonably helpful, but won't necessrily think of things, so for instance I started Ironing on sunday nights but was fuming because he never did it any more, just left it to me. I pointed out that though I had no problem doing the ironing regularly, I didn't particularly want to find myself married to someone in 20 years time who didn't know how to use an iron, who had previously been more capable than me at ironing. He took it on board and now usually gets it started and then I finish it off. But you know what, the chores are never going to go away, and my dh is never going to care as much as me about things being in the right place and clean and tidy, so it just has to be done in a reasonable manner and not take over my life completely.

Don't do 2hrs in a row, do 15mins here and there.

How old are your dc's?

I get my dd's aged 3 and 9 to put dirty clothes in laudry, scrap plates into bin, tidy up toys etc

I also have some rules that minimise the mess for eg they are only allowed food and drinks in the dining room (they can take a drink up to bed but dd2's must be in a cup with lid and dd1 must bring hers down and not let them stay in her room so long they go mouldy)

Dp is quite handy with the hoover and the dishwasher but will do anything I ask him.

Usually our conversations go like this...
" will you tidy and hoover the living room while I clean the kitchen or vice versa" Then we both spend 15mins or so until its all done and we sit down together.

I feel exactly the same - I loathe cleaning. I don't feel like that about other chores though - supermarket shop, ironing, gardening, whatever - just the cleaning turns me into a cursing moody monster. It just takes so long and is so futile!

Oh god I feel just the same about it. I do it, but my efforts last about one nano-second round here.

After years of that it's hard to keep up the momentum or to sum up any enthusiasm. I procrastinate, potter about doing 'other things'(mn, baking, shopping) or things I fancy but then I also feel guilty too.

Lol (wryly) at 'pants and stains'. I think I'll have 'she fought valiantly against pants and stains' on my headstone