AAAAARGH! My DH is soooo messy its driving me insane.

[PavlovtheCat]

I just need to rant and get this off my chest, so please so excuse me. I love my DH very much. But he is a slob.

He does try to be tidy, but for some reason he just cannot do it. He does it in fits and starts. Ie bedroom was a tip, he spent 2 hours on it, and therefore it was done. It was nowhere near done and he got upset that I pointed that out !

How can 1 adult and a 2yo make so much mess between last night and this morning! I had a lie-in as been working hard all week, and woke up to chaos. All week, in the evening, the place has been messy. DH would put washing on but not hang it up, or leave it hung up when I hung it out. So each evening I would has a whizz around to freshen everything, you know keep on top of it.

Yesterday, I tidied everything. Things were mostly in their respective places, toys tidy. When I went to bed there was a little stuff to wash up from tea last night, but in general good state of repair.

This morning!!!! I got up, to find my friends were here as DH was giving them a lift somewhere nd the place was chaos! I hate my friends seeing my house messy, especially when it should be tidy .

So I shall just list the things I am pissed off about the get it all out.

DDs breakfast plate is still on her table in the front room. the remote controls for tv etc (x3) all in different locations on the floor. The grate to the fire is on its side away from the fire. The poan chair is facing the wall and has a jumper thrown over it. The curtains are not open - or rather, one is half open. It looks like a student house (DH hates it when I say that). There is a can of WD40 on top of shelf.

The hallway has a towel on the floor in the middle of the carpet. DHs shoes are sort of thrown about the hallway.

The toothpaste is lying next to the pot without a lid on, there is toothpaste on the side, DH and DDs toothbrushes are not in the pot. The shower gel is not in basket, has lid undone, there are 2 empty toilet rolls on the floor. Toilet lid is open, bath mat is on the floor wet, there are clothes on the floor next to the wash bin.

Kitchen floor is dirty - tbh is was already in need of a clean, but i just noticed! Butter pot not put away after breakfast, nor sugar coffee or tea pots. empty milk carton on side not in recycling. Side has crumbs on, knife not put in dishwasher, chair has a towel over it, post has been opened and not dealt with, dirty water and some dirty plates in sink not in dishwasher (which is ready for stuff to go in) Bread not put away.

Lights on in the whole flat, tv on, DHs computer game on.

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

Thinking about this again. My dh NEVER wipes worktops, hoovers, washes things in sink puts his socks in laundry has hung up a bathmat changed a sheet washed a towel (nor when lived by himself I don't think so not just that I'm doormat) but really doesn't care or notice. But he does unload dw, put kids to bed, buy groceries, tidy bookshelves and iron his own shirts. I get cross but have to admit he is helpfulin other things.

Just saw this thread! Yeh! Another one with a DH that does NOTHING!!! I get out of the bed in the morning and make it - i even make 'my side' if he's in it. I find alter that he has got out and left it in a mess! Toothpaste etc always left out - why do i have a bathroom cabinet? Why do I have laundry baskets cos his dirty clothes are never put into them!!? His boots are left where he takes them off. His coats are never hung up in the hall closet. Dishes are left - he will never check the dishwasher to see if it needs emptied or put on! I don't know when he last touched the hoover or mop! When he makes his breakfast he leaves the box in the counter with a trail of bits from the packet for me to clean up! He NEVER sorts out his paper work - ie filing pay slips/bank statements/bills etc - he piles it up! He goes to work and works hard, and when he gets home he sits here with the laptop all evening! He gets in a tizz if he can't find anything, or a short isn't ironed - and he never does the ironing either!!! Basically all housework is left for me to do. I 'nag' at him to mow the lawn - which he does about 2-3 times a year! He never helps with the gardening either and the garage!!! Well his tools are used but he NEVER returns them to where they are meant to be.

But guess what, I don't get stressed out! I do my best to get done what I can. If he complains about it, I then tell him he can help to sort out his own messes too. My DS (age 6) is better at doing tidy up time!

I wish I knew how to not stress about the messiness/dirt/downright teenage-type laziness! I'm not anal like some people and its not like I'm trying to make our house look like a show home, but like has been mentioned above - housework/cleaning/tidying: done by me, cooking: done by me, decorating: done by me, child care (around 90 - 95%): done by me! And he really does not see the mess!

He's recently started to try to "diet" ( I say "diet" cos tonight he's out for a curry in London!)and has bought rice cakes to snack on - fine if he would use a plate, but he never does! He leaves rice cake crumbs on the shelf in the pantry where he keeps them, and then a trail of crumbs from the pantry, through the kitchen into the lounge and the trail ends on his chest just below his mouth! I told him on Wed that if this happened once more the rice cakes would go in the bin. Well yesterday morning I found another trail of crumbs and said I was chucking them in the bin - he wouldn't let me and said he would keep them in his car! (FGS!)

He is better about putting his clothes in the dirty basket now, but leaves clothes he will wear again (even if not for another whole week) on the floor by his bed.

If he's on a day off, or its the weekend and we're not going out, he won't shower unless I nag him to, and even then not always, and on those days doesn't change his underwear because he hasn't washed/is only saving on the washing - see he's thinking of me!

A couple of years ago I decorated top to bottom by myself, got new carpets etc, and was particularly pleased with how it looked afterwards. Within a week the food and drink stains had started appearing on the cream lounge/dining room carpet. After two years of this treatment the carpet looks disgusting and I'm ashamed to have people round as it looks like we just chuck food everywhere! He invited our neighbour in for the first time just before xmas without me knowing (I was upstairs feeding the baby) and apparently she commented on the stains on the carpet! I was mortified when he told me!

In the bathroom he leaves splotches of toothpaste all round the sink, often leaves beard shavings in the sink too, bites his nails in the bath and then leaves them in a pile on the side of the bath, doesn't think to wipe up when he "misses" the toilet bowl, uses his hand to wipe the mirror when its steamed up so it leaves smears, has left dirty pants next to the loo then gone out - on the day we had visitors and I didn't discover them til after they'd both used the bathroom! He knows he has to clean the bath after each time he has one, but sometimes doesn't or doesn't do it properly - when I mention it to him he says "I have done it..... haven't I?" I then know he hasn't!

He refuses to do any gardening and definitely not any lawn mowing. One of the main reasons we got this house was because it has a good size front and back garden - he uses the excuse of hayfever - but he's ok when he takes his clarityn, he just doesn't want to do it!

He WILL do the washing up, but does it in such a rush he doesn't do it properly, and will put stuff away dirty. He also does the bins every Monday morning.

God - sorry for the long rant and for hijacking this thread, but I was so pleased to see others were going through similar, although I have to say all the other husbands do at least seem to do other things that redeem them, like cooking, childcare, etc - just wish mine would too : (