Open Letter to my Boys ? 31 December 2008
What can I say about the year that has passed, apart from passing far too quickly is has brought us many challenges and trials throughout it, but with that many moments of joy, adversity and amazement.
It started with me know that I carry the BRACA gene which means that I have an exceptionally high (85%) lifetime risk of breast cancer and a risk of 60% for ovarian cancer. After discussing this with your dad, we made the decision to have prophylactic surgery. Initially I had a mammogram to make sure all was OK at the moment and then had appointments with the relevant consultants. In July I had my ovaries removed, which was particularly difficult, as it meant that our family was complete and that the possibility of any more children was over for me and your dad. The surgery was a piece of cake and I was home the next day, driving the day after that and even took you both swimming a week later. We have set a date of Feb 2009 for my double mastectomy and stage one of the reconstruction.
I have spent a large part of this year, trying to put in place a mechanism for looking after the two of you when I go in for surgery and to this end, we have met the wonderful Wendy from Homestart. She has defiantly been a positive influence in all our lives and we have been blessed to be matched with a fantastic lady, an ex-teacher with the same outlook on life as us and you too boys look forward to her visits so much each week. We will also be meeting our surestart working in the first week of January ? Tracy. She is going to come every other week to get to know you both and then after my operation will take you to playgroup twice a week.
We were lucky enough to have two holidays this year ? the first 5 days at Pontins in Wales (thanks to Mumsnet). We all had great fun running round the castles pretending to be knights and that a welsh dragon was chasing us. We had a fantastic time on the train up Mount Snowdon and just a generally wonderful family time. We were early to bed every night and out just after breakfast.
We also decided that the only way we were going to be able to afford to go on Holiday was to camp and to this end; Grandma bought us our Christmas presents early ? A tent and everything to go with it. We had our first camping trip in August and managed to avoid what was the wettest summer since records began. We went to Northumberland and you boys really took to camping. You had great fun flying your kite and just running about with the other children kicking your balls.
We had a super meal in the Tree house at Alnick Gardens and you both were mesmerised by the water features. Finlay dressed up as a Knight at Alnick castle and again we had a great day. We also visited Carlisle Castle, Hadrian?s Wall and had lots of fun family walks. I am really looking forward to our camping trips in 2009.
You started Nursery in March and took to it like a duck to water ? you have great fun with all the other children and your favourite time in playing outside, so much we bought you wellies and a waterproof, so that you could play outside in any weather and you often do. 2009 will mean mornings at Nursery and ?Big? school from September. It will also bring nursery for DS2 in September too. To make this easier for him I have been looking in to a playgroup a couple of afternoons a week for him, as he has never really been apart from me.
Some of our best experiences have been the ones that we haven?t really planned, the afternoons on the beach (grabbed when it wasn?t raining), watching you both run naked into the sea and then eating chips and ice cream before meeting daddy at home and telling him all about it.
We have had lots of days out to parks, the woods and the beach and all are wonderful and I see things totally different now, from the perspective of a 2 and 3 year old. Clouds are rain factories and when I dance I have the rad moves.
We have enjoyed fireworks night at Uncle C and Aunty D?s Club, along with the summer fair and the Boxing Day bash. DS2y has learnt all the moves to the songs and really enjoys dancing with my niece. You rode Donkeys, both at the fair and on the beach at Whitby. We have had lots of fantastic days at Whitby and often sat and had fish and chips from the Magpie looking over the harbour. We have explored falling foss and high force.
We had a super day at Flamingo Land and I am sure that it will become an annual event. We went on lots of rides, even sneaking Finlay on the water flume even though he was a little small. We saw lots of animals and then had fun in the soft play.
We have been lucky enough to spend this year with our family and friends and are looking forward to the birth of a new baby to Katherine in the New Year with relish. K and C are busy doing up the farm house and it is a year since we lost Great Gran.
My Godfather died this year too and Aunty T is in remission from peritoneal cancer. Both she and T have had their mastectomies and reconstructions and are doing really well, after a few hiccups along the way.
We have had fantastic birthdays and a wonderful Christmas day, although DS fell out of bed and broke his collar bone at midnight on Christmas night. So thank you for 2008, for all the joy you both bring to my life, despite all the challenges it has been a wonderful year.
I only hope that 2009 is a good a year if not better and we all rise to the challenges it will bring with as much effort and togetherness that we have this past year. I love you both so much
Mum