Mums with small children - how are you not doing jobs/housework the entire time?

[Tinkjon]

I spend virtually all day doing jobs and it is driving me CRAZY. I have an almost-6yo and a 15mo and I never, ever get to sit down. I also feel really bad that I don't do enough with the kids - I'm always saying "in a minute, I just have to do x first...". It's DH too, not just me. I don't understand why we always have so much to do. I'm not talking about being houseproud and I don't mean jobs like cleaning windows, dusting (we've lived here for 4 years and I honestly don't think I have ever dusted ), organising linen cupboards and so on - I mean the essential day-to-day stuff like getting the washing on and getting dinner ready and having a floor that you can walk across without tripping up! Our house is in a bit of a state - we've had an extension built and we haven't got proper storage yet, would that make a difference? I feel like I'm always tidying things away - I could spend hours every day moving things to their right places. I hate having cluttered worktops and yesterday I spent half an hour clearing everything off it but within an hour it was full again. Full of weird things like keys, gloves, a hairdryer, bits of toys, an ice-cube tray and so on, how does it get like this?! And the kids don't really play with toys, they just get stuff out and leave it around the house. We tend to do a big toy tidy at the end of the day but there is still toy stuff everywhere. Bits of one game could be spread across every room in the house. I've tried getting DD to tidy her things away and we had a 'no toys out unless the previous one has been put away first' but she can't seem to do it - am I expecting too much to get a 5yo to tidy? We have one of those stair baskets and every day I have several baskets full of stuff to go upstairs then stuff to come downstairs again. And the baby's favourite game is opening cupboards and putting the stuff everywhere - do you just have to accept that with babies?! I had plans to give him just one cupboard full of interesting things but that hasn't worked for various reasons. The playroom is a disaster - we have open shelving and toys on the floor, which I guess encourages them to get stuff out rather than play properly. Would we be better off with proper basket storage so things aren't quite as on display or would they still just get everything out? But then I don't want to be one of those parents who doesn't like their kids to play because it makes a mess! We have a toybox but everything falls to the bottom and you can't find anything in there. Maybe part of the problem is that the baby doesn't nap properly - I get an hour a day if I'm lucky, not like the 2 hours that I had with DD...

Sorry, this has been a very long post but heeeeelp, can anybody save us from constant job-doing?!

Ugh, surfaces.

I bung a cleaner (well, SIL ) to blitz kitchen & bathroom once a week. In between I just swipe at them ineffectually...

Can I plug freecycle here? Fabulous way of getting rid of ANYTHING.

It's keys and coins.

It's coming in, to the kitchen, or the lounge, or the bedroom, and even the bathroom, and taking their bloody keys, coins, odd screws from last months DIY, cashcards, out of their pockets and just leaving them on a something. Could be the toilet, the bedhead, the drawrs, the microwave. Either leave them in your pocket or get a God damn handbag!

arghh! I sympathise.

Things that can tip you into 'doing housework all the time but vaguely winning' include:

--> FLYLady - very fond of her endless emails and mysterious affirmations and routines. Many the night when i've gone down late at night muttering to dh through grittd teeth "FLYLady says sink shuold be shined at night". It does free up 'head space' though, and keeps things running smoothly (eg now my sink is always clear at night, it's easy to wash up breakfast promptly, and i feel relatively upbeat about the housework in the morning)

--> alternate houseproud days with slattern days with LOTS of out the house days. Although you still have to do cooking/washing at the end of the day, most of the work is MESS. And it's irritating to watch kiddies create WORK for overworked little ME,,,, whreas it's charming watching them scamper terrorising the neighbourhood and wildlife

--> No cooking after 12. I set off slowcooker with breakfast (and clear up that mess with breakfast dishes). /then have one hot meal and one sarnie/spud/omelette type meal. After 12 I just recover, play with kids and clean. Big improvement on the old way, where the effort of making dinner would leave me knackered with a dirty kitchen and impatient ignored children.

--> Limit food to dining table. Wow it's lovely to not be crunching sweetcorn under foot as I approach the sofa, or be scrubbing sour milk from Dds bookshelf...

Penny jar?

We have a giant economy size pickled onion jar (dh & MIL have some complicated in-joke involving Xmas pickled onions...[hmmm]) & all abandoned change gets swept into it - last time we emptied it, there was a £100 of mad money!

One big bowl for all keys etc & a house rule that if you don't look after it, you have to fossick it out of the bowl?

I have 3 under 3,
what helps in my mad house is the barney song "clean up, clean up everybody everywhere" DD1 and DD2 will help me tidy there toys. DD1 is great at helping with small things.
Washing i get a load on first thing in the morning so i have it drying through out the day and try and get two loads done if possible. Just keeps me on top of it.
Dusting what is that!! If i do that once a week.
I do alot of running around like a headless chicken.
I de clutter alot, toys, cloths etc.
Do one big clean up in the evenings takes about half an hour.
If its not done i dont worry it will be done sometime...

Fab suggestions, everybody! Some LOL answers, too

I've made a start on decluttering (although will take approximately 4 millennia to finish) and I got a lovely wooden sign-with-hooks thingy for Xmas that I've hung up ands my keys and mobile phone are now on there. So it's a start

Our pre-school tried a table top sale back in early December and people brought in "junk" to get rid of. But of course no-one else wants this stuff.
But they want it kept in case we can sell it.
I just want to chuck it and just give a donation to be frank, we also have a MASSIVE bag of soft toys that even the charity shops don't want.
But because i'm the one who ran the table i've got to store this crap.
I feel the need of a bonfire. I'm just fed up of not being able to use the playroom.
But i suppose soft toys don't burn well do they?

Once you have decluttered, get yourself a biggish old fashioned wicker shopping basket with a handle. Do a round of the downstairs at lunchtime, and one at bedtime. Put all miscellaneous abandoned pieces of crap in there. If anyone has left anything lying around, say 'it's in the lost property basket'. Whenever the basket gets too full, do a tour delivering all the detritus to its correct homes, usually every day or two. Sorted!

For the cupboards its easy to get locks for inside or outside to stop them getting things out.
YANBU to ask a 5yo to help tidy up. My 2yo has been expected to put laundry in the basket or machine. I find it easier to bypass the machine and just put all of it in the washer.
Do washing while dcs are having breakfast. Go through rooms 1 by 1 and declutter sell it/charity shop it.

Ripeberry, Freecycle is the way to go for all that stuff! You can get rid of it all on there.

BaileysDaily, we've just got a new kitchen and I don't want to drill into the cupboards and the only non-drill locks wont' fit our cupboards The 5yo will help tidy up but I just want her not to make the mess in the first place!