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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Original poster

am i a bad mum if i get a cleaner in once a fortnight ?

26 replies

dsrplus8 · 27/12/2008 13:08

just to help out with the stuff i hate doing/cant get around to. i work part time, dh works full time , and we have 8 children. i hate to admit but sometimes our home isnt up to my usual standard ,there just isnt enough hours in the day, and to be honest id rather play games with the kids than wash windows or iron the clothes. friend has recomended her cleaner, very good trustworthy girl and i could do with the help.but im suffering guilt at the thought of it... i live in council housing, 3 bedroom flat and am not well off , (we do ok, can pay the bills,and in better position than many of our friends/neighbours)give me your opinions please, would you do the same or an i just too lasy and need to get my finger out ?

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 27/12/2008 13:14

Nothing to feel guilty about - specially with a p/t job and 8 children. You have to decide which things to spend time on and which to spend money on, and if you can afford a cleaner for a little while to let you spend time with your children, why should anyone have a problem with that?

schneebly · 27/12/2008 13:24

working? 8 kids? I wouldnt blame you if you wanted a full time housekeeper woman! If you can afford it once a fortnight and you want it then go for it!

Original poster
dsrplus8 · 27/12/2008 13:24

thanks amum , i just feel a wee bit ponsy" oooh ive got a cleaner" kind of thing, and sort of im not doing enough myself and passing the buck.im sort of ashamed of myself, and embarised(spelling oops)about what(most of) my mates will think, im not a lady who lunches, more like a fishwife who munches! lol

OP posts:
MarlaSinger · 27/12/2008 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TsarHumbug · 27/12/2008 13:28

Nope. Do it if you can afford it.

Ask enough people and someone, either on here or in rl, will say something to make you feel guilty. 'Never explain-your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway'

But really, it's your life. Your business. Do what you need to and enjoy the benefit it brings you.

I am a sahm and have a lovely lady who helps me with the excess ironing. I always have tons. Who doesn't I guess? But I HATE it when it piles up.

I just know my neighbours have all sorts of opinions about it. I don't give a single toss Dh and I are happy with the arrangement and that is all that matters to me.

muggglewump · 27/12/2008 13:28

Crikey you are so not a bad Mum. There's only DD and I in a small 2 bed house, I work 17 hours and I'd still get a cleaner if I had the cash.
Cleaning is so boring!

BouncingTinsel · 27/12/2008 13:28

If you can afford it then go for it! It certainly doesn't make you a bad mother! If it frees up some time to spend with the kids then even better

Original poster
dsrplus8 · 27/12/2008 13:30

i can afford about 4of 5 hours a fortnight if i watch the houekeeping budget, and make a few cuts with the fun money(days out /treat myself fund) havent told dh as hes trying to save for a new car(read rust free decent second hand).

OP posts:
schneebly · 27/12/2008 13:30

I dont really work - the odd night babysitting and I study part time but if I could afford a cleaner I really would get one. I am a hopeless housekeeper but a goood mum I think

TsarHumbug · 27/12/2008 13:33

Being a good mum trumps being a good housekeeper any day of the week!

duchesse · 27/12/2008 13:38

Good god no! With 8 children I should have thought it would be mandatory. You are a mother, not a cleaner. Only very recently have any of us been expected to cope alone in the house.

Original poster
dsrplus8 · 27/12/2008 13:40

the last week of school , my dd3 came to me at 8:40 am , and told me she didnt have any trousers ready for her uniform, my poor dd is only 10, felt really bad ,so ive admitied i do need some help(dh and the older kids help out too) dd4 has loads of medical appointments and that takes a big chunk of time and i cant seem to catch up.

OP posts:
georgimama · 27/12/2008 13:41

How does needing a cleaner make you a bad mother? The two things bear no relation to one another.

I must be a terrible mother, I've only got one child and I have a cleaner.

NCRedBreastedBirdy · 27/12/2008 13:42

There are 10 of you in a 3 bed flat and you make that work? IMHO, you can have anything you like, at all, ever

Original poster
dsrplus8 · 27/12/2008 13:45

er, what does IMHO mean???? (sorry , im thick with abreviations)

OP posts:
mrsdisorganised · 27/12/2008 13:48

Get a cleaner!!! I would if I could and I only have four creating havoc in the house and I'm a SAHM I'm one of 8 and it nearly killed my mum....go for it if you can!

IMHO- In my honest opinion...i think!

NCRedBreastedBirdy · 27/12/2008 13:51

In my Honest/humble opinion

Original poster
dsrplus8 · 27/12/2008 13:58

NCRED , thnx ladies you are all lovely to me, i will get said cleaner in the new year , but i think i it would be taking the mick to play with the children whilst shes doing my ironing, i should look at this as someoneone to help me, rather than someone to do it for me(as pointed by one friend).in the meantime any ideas on what to use to clean an oven that doesnt give off strong fumes(asthmatic child in the house)????

OP posts:
slackrunner · 27/12/2008 14:11

dsrplus8 - there's nothing wrong with playing with your dcs whilst the cleaner is there. You are paying her to do a job, end of. If that frees you up more time to spend with your dcs then that's great

Nighbynight · 27/12/2008 14:35

Get the cleaner and don't feel guilty! With 8 children, you need a break.

Nighbynight · 27/12/2008 14:36

"im not a lady who lunches, more like a fishwife who munches!" is a classic line btw

georgimama · 27/12/2008 15:19

The whole purpose of the cleaner is to free you up for the children! Sit on the sofa and make helpful comments like "you missed a bit", she'll love you for it.

Mooseheart · 27/12/2008 15:26

As soon as I go back to work p/t I will get a cleaner - and I only have two children.

I have enough on my plate just keeping the place reasonably tidy and the washing up to date!

Life is too short! If you can afford it go for it.

ssd · 27/12/2008 15:30

8 kids??

you deserve a medal, never mind a cleaner!

GreenMonkies · 27/12/2008 15:43

I have a cleaner once a fortnight and it makes me a better mother!! It means I am not totally bogged down with vaccuuming and mopping floors and so on. She's a wonderful woman, and I love her with all my heart, she's worth every penny and I'd get her to come every week if I could afford it!

Go for it!!!