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Housekeeping

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Original poster

So embarrassed - unexpected visitors!

25 replies

onthepier · 29/11/2008 22:52

I've actually done a lot in the house this week and it really showed by yesterday evening but not by mid-morning today!!

We had no plans other than my parents round for dinner tomorrow, so I got up around 7.30, fed + dressed the dc's, pre-made tomorrow's dinner + put it in the fridge, gave our en-suite bathroom a good scrub, had a browse through the newspapers + a coffee. This was before I showered at around 10.30. Just coming out of the shower I heard familiar voices downstairs, (my friend who lives across the road + her dd who plays with my dd). They'd come over on the off chance that our two may want to go to an Xmas fair with them, my dh wasn't sure what my plans were so felt he should invite them in + make coffee!

Anyway, all our breakfast things were piled into the sink still unwashed, (replacement dishwasher for our old one arrives Monday), my ds had decided to take his cereal through to the living room + was munching away, arts + craft boxes were opened as our dc's had decided to make Xmas cards, there was a full washing basket by the stairs to be taken up, my dd's school project spread over two tables to be finished today, new clothes I'd bought my dc's yesterday were strewn on the sofa by the children, waiting to be tried on and to top it all the normal pile of Saturday newspapers + supplements were spread around as my dh was looking for a specific article!

My friend is the most houseproud person + I could see her eyes were everywhere! I'm pleased my dh was hospitable to them but felt so embarrassed! Does anybody else feel like this with unexpected visitors?

OP posts:
chunkychips · 29/11/2008 22:53

I never answer the door unless it's prearranged!

LuckySalem · 29/11/2008 22:54

I feel terrible cos you can guarantee that DD has emptied ALL her toyboxes!!

You just have to resign yourself to the fact that you have kids and kids make mess. She probably didn't really care much other than.... Oh "onthepier"s had a bad morning.

Dont worry.

NCbirdy · 29/11/2008 22:54

Yes, but if they turned up to my house and my house was in the state you have described I would be really pleased because it sounds like mine on a (very) good day!

TeenyTinyTorya · 29/11/2008 22:55

I'm not really bothered about this kind of thing - unless I had several days worth of dishes lying or something, then the rest is just "lived-in" clutter, not dirt. My mum's house has about 8,000 books in it, and is just full of "stuff" as she home-educates, so I'm used to having visitors round when the house is less than perfect.

Does it really matter what your friend thinks? There's more to life than housework after all, and it sounds like you had a nice relaxing morning!

Original poster
onthepier · 29/11/2008 22:57

To top it all I had to come downstairs with very wet hair, hairdryer is kept in downstairs bathroom! Never did dry it properly as soon got embroiled in conversation with my very chatty friend, (who looked immaculate of course)!

Not answering the door unless pre-arranged is a good option!!

OP posts:
Bumperlicious · 30/11/2008 08:14

I dunno, I love it when people come around unexpectedly, it means they want to see you. I wish i had the sort of friends who would just pop over. Sure I would be embarrased about the mess but if people pop over unexpectedly what's the worst they can think?

Fizzylemonade · 30/11/2008 09:11

I hate people turning up unexpected, especially these days with mobile phones, although if it was my best mate from hundreds of miles away I would be overjoyed and she wouldn't judge me on such trivial matters.

This happened to me once, "friend" popped round and after a coffee and a chat she said

"I'll leave you to get back to your cleaning"

I wasn't cleaning, I was watching tv whilst feeding my 7 week old baby!!!!!

Since then I have adopted Flylady, and now that my little baby is 2 1/2 and his brother is in school I can manage it all better.

Playroom is still trashed though

deanychip · 30/11/2008 09:16

na doesnt bother me. Place is clean but lived in when we are all home. We do get stuff out and leave it lying round.

when people call in unexpectedly it means they want to see you, not your house! get a brew on and have a natter, give every one a job to tidy up, kids and dh can do it while you have a natter!

LilRedWG · 30/11/2008 09:19

I absolutely hate this too, but I must say that your house sounds lovely and more importanyly it sounds wike a home not a show home. The main thing is - it was clean, so try not to let it bother you.

Spidermama · 30/11/2008 09:19

I've given up now. I don't care how houseproud my guests are. The fact is I have four young children, a relatively small home, lots of artwork around and evidence of life. I think there's something deeply wrong when a household, where children live, is very tidy.

I used to cringe when people come round but I don't have the energy any more and I've noticed that now I'm relzxed, they are too.

Perhaps it's time we all kicked back a bit and made peace with our inner slattern.

legodaffamatic · 30/11/2008 09:37

Your house sounds fine. One meal's washing up is fine - it's when it's clearly several days' worth, it's Sunday and Friday's school uniform is still strewn over the hall, a half-unpacked tesco order from the day before yesterday is still piled up in drifts of carrier bags in the kitchen, the downstairs toilet is a mess with kids pants, sink full of toothpaste marks, books etc., and on top of that you've had the heating on too high and no windows open and so you're pretty sure the house smells a bit musty - now that's when to be a little bit embarrassed. I would love it if the worst 'mess' in my house was so clearly only half a day's worth and underneath everything looked tidy!

mysterymoniker · 30/11/2008 10:03

it just sounds like a lovely snapshot of family life to me, there's something eerie about homes with young people and no sign of independent play don't you think?

Spidermama · 30/11/2008 10:08

Also just remember, when you go to other people's houses and they are all beautiful ... they've tidied up because they know you are coming.

themoon66 · 30/11/2008 10:09

Your house sounds a LOT cleaner than mine and I don't have small DC to mess it up.

You are described untidiness, not dirt.

My house stinks of camembert cheese at the moment due to DH leaving it out last night. Its permeated everything. And it's too cold to open windows today.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 30/11/2008 10:26

sounds like perfectly lovely normal family life to me.

if your friend is your friend she will think so too.

if not, and she is judgey, then she is an uptight get-a-life bore.

MarlaSinger · 30/11/2008 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PenelopePitstops · 30/11/2008 10:35

lifes too short, your friend came to see you not your house!

Original poster
onthepier · 30/11/2008 19:20

Thanks for your messages, I realise I should relax more about what other people think! I'm perfectly happy with the dc's craft kits in our living room, washing up left until there's a convenient time to do it etc, I only start seeing it differently when somebody arrives!!

As a few people posted, we are as we sound, a generally happy household, (if a bit chaotic at times but we all have fun!

OP posts:
IAteMakkaPakka · 30/11/2008 19:24

Pffffrt that doesn't sound bad, honestly.

Have you ever just popped over to her house? If not, maybe you should!

Life is definitely too short to worry - if she's any sort of friend (and also as she has young kids!) she won't give two hoots.

Original poster
onthepier · 30/11/2008 20:19

I have popped over to her house unexpected before, but she's the sort that whatever time you popped in everything's immaculate. Mind you she does have a rule that no toys can be in the living room, it's all upstairs. Plus her + her dc's are up at 6.30 every day, weekend or weekday, so if I popped round at 10.30 all the breakfast clutter is long gone! We take it easier at weekends, if we haven't got plans it's not unusual for us still to be in pyjamas at 9.30!

OP posts:
cat64 · 30/11/2008 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

breaghsmum · 01/12/2008 00:09

ive a very forgetful friend and i often arrange to call in with her. when i arrive she has completely forgotten that i was coming and says " dont even look at the mess of my house" her house is immaculate!!!!! she makes me feel so bad although i tell myself its cause she doesnt have a 3 year old, a dog and a cat. but even so, my house is never as clean or tidy as hers and i often wonder, if she thinks hers is bad, what must she think of mine??

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 01/12/2008 23:13

legodaffamatic, were you speaking from experience then? or just made that all up from your imagination?

BellaKissedSanta · 02/12/2008 10:44

It's weird isn't it?

I have a friend who is not houseproud at all, so I don't mind at all if she drops in unannounced because my house will be, at worst, the same as hers.

Whereas if another friend, whose home looks like something straight out of Country Living, pops in, I need to book myself in for two weeks intensive psychotherapy afterwards.

ChocFudgeCake · 03/12/2008 20:55

I think one shouldn't worry... but I often do
Most of the friends who visit us don't have kids, so they have tidier houses. I do not like it if they don't warn me at least 10 min in advance of their visit. Usually the toys are all over the playing room (normal!) and when this male friend comes he ALWAYS says that my kids have far too many toys and reminisces of his fine toyless childhood. I curse in my head and look forward to his wife giving birth for the first time I plan to go over to his house next year and comment on the huge amount of toys this only child has.

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