Really down about housework. Don't know how people have the time to get it all done.

[hellogoodbye]

Hello. I have recently become so down about my housework. I have always been rubbsih at it and have always been messy.

I know that my life woud be easier if me and DH just cleared up after ourselves as we wen along (he is currently not even living here, as I have become unhappy and asked him to leave - I think at least 70% of this stemmed from housework problems). We are both so messy, leave a trail of jobs behind us! I have tried so hard to change, but just end up sp miserable. Even if I sit and think "I need some time to relax" I just sit and think about all the jobs I should be doing.

It doesnt help that my DD is very demanding (6months old) and she like to have lots of attention, However, I was like this before she came along so cant blame her for it.

It has now got to the point that I dont want to be at home and will try to be out as much of the day as possible and make excuses not to go home.

I cant ever have people round as its a mess, and i am wanting to start childminding, and I am getting enquires,but cant have people looking round when my house is messy..

Am I alone on this? How can I do something about it. I think I am on the road to depression so need to act asap. I have had bits of melp from my mum, but she is away and there isnt anybody else who can help, and I would be embarassed anyway.

no you dont need to read the whole flylady thing- i dont.
i just come on here in the morning and usually someone has got up first posted a new thread with the links for the days missions
simple

no dont do it late at night!! if that is when you are trying to do it its no wonder you never get anywhere with it!!! set a time to do it in and make sure you stick to that time. id go potty if i did my cleaning at night!!! i only do things that i dont mind i.e. ironing after 7pm.

try and get more organised re time. get up at set times, bed at set times, meals, cleaning, playing ect. doesnt need to be rigid just have a usual time of doing things.

i have a chair for my dd2 as she is too heavy for a sling and i take the chiar around with me and she watches me while i clean, i usually have music on so i sing to her too. she loves it.

set tasks each day but not major ones or you will become disheartened when you dont get it done. tackle the smallest/easiest room first. and do what i said earlier do it in steps. everything of the floor first, then look at areas so if it was the bathroom clear out cuboard and clean one at a time, then sort out any shelves. odes your baby still nap? try making sure that you spend your dcs naptime doing cleaning work

as micci says dont do it late at night- make that your time sit and watch crap tv or read a book whatever you enjoy doing.
the one thing i really do find helps is to make sure there are no dishes before i goto bed though i hate waking up to a sink full of dishes.
our routine here is 7pm showers 7.30 dd bed 8.30 ds bed- then my time. sometime between dd going to bed and ds going i have a quick swipe round in the kitchen. i find as long as my kitchen is clean i feel better.
so if i'm having a bad time and really need to clean that where i'll start. it usually gives me the incentive to do the rest.
if i was you decide which room is best for youto get sorted first. as i said mine is the kitchen, my friend is her living room. her reasoning is she can shut door on the kitchen and ignore it of an evening but she sits in her living room so likes that clear. once you have that hopefully it will help you feel better and motivated to do more

I do a bit each day. I've put together a weekly and monthly cleaning rota (don't laugh ) and tick it off when it's been done. There's also a bit for morning and afternoon.
I found the key is a strict(ish) routine.
Quick example
Everyday:
On way to shower, collect all dry washing from radiators and clothes horses etc, pile on bed.
Get in shower, wash down cubicle while in there
Get out of shower, clean sink whilst brushing teeth, then give toilet quick wipe
All takes about 20mins (without shower)
Fold washing
Get dressed
Do washing up and wipe kitchen counters down and mop floor, put load of washing on.
All this takes about an hour and half and ds sits infront of tv for this, or I wouldn't get anything done.
Then while he napping, I do the dusting downstairs and hoover quickly, next day is bedrooms and next day off, next day downstairs and so on.

could you afford to pay someone to come clean for you, and really decently clean it, just the once, and then you keep on top of it??

I know that I do stuff each day......I don;t have a cleaning routine, but I seem to keep on top of it all. I just do it as it needs, rather than think 'oh, I will leave it and do tomorrow', because invariably tomorrow will bring another job.....and then that is the way it starts to pile up too much.

today for instance, I have done 4loads of washing, and hung them out, folded loads of dried washing and sorted into piles, emptied the tumble drier and sorted that stuff out, cleaned upstairs and downstairs loo's, hoovered all downstairs, swept kitchen, clean kitchen floor, cleaned the kitchen sides, emptied and refilled dishwasher, tidied the boys room, sorted out the rug in the lounge, rung tax cradits, tried to ring the solicitor several times (altho she is constantly on voice mail), and looked after a poorlyish DS2, helped him eat worms,(), had flame here for work this morning and after school, AND been on MN lots.

and this is a boring day!!

hellogoodby - I feel your pain. I'm exactly the same and it really gets me down. I'm still at work at the moment but in 40 minutes I'll be going home to a bomb site and I'll spend the next 4 days (I work part time) trying to get everything done, and then it'll all go to pot on Monday. It's so crap.

I know it's completely my fault (well, dh's as well). I'd like to give myself a really good shake and get a grip.

I agree with several posters that clutter is your enemy. We live in a very small flat and don't have space for all our stuff. The only way we'll really get sorted is to take a deep breath and get rid of the stuff we don't have space for. For a start, we have 8 bookcases full of books in a one bed flat. I'm going to bring 80% of them in to work and have a booksale for charity. I really think this will make a difference. Maybe you've got stuff that you can get shot of and give you less to tidy up??

I clean up after myself as I go along.. DH doesn't. I spend most of my time tidying or so it seems.

I dont find the time to do it. I make time to do what I can, the most important things, kitchen clean/bathroom clean/floor hoovered/some clean clothes.

If I have time or energy I do more, if not, I dont! I still get stressed by it, sometimes I cant be bothered, sometimes I spend days getting it tidy.

It does not make a difference really. Its just as messy the next day whether I have tidied or not!

Dont beat yourself up about it, do what you can and make sure you have time for you.

I would love to keep up with your cleaning standards, truly. How the heck do I do it with a very demanding 6 month old bf baby and an equally demanding toddler, who will hit his sister if I don't watch him all the time.

Could you not get a sling or something? Then baby handy if needing feed and away from dd. Or put him in a playpen? You can get them in Argos for £30, that way he safe.
Can the toddler not help? Can she carry clothes pegs? Help put sheets on the bed? Get the dustpan and brush out? Wash the sink? If ou made dd involved this would keep her happy for a while?

I have a sling, but I can't bf dd in it, yet! She even gets annoyed in it and wants to be laying on my bf cushion next to me all the time. It's just exhausting!

I didn't bf so can't really help you there. I ff to routine not on demand, I like to think that ds (10m) has a rough idea of what gonna happen, and he is now ok on his own, wasn't at first, but I had to get stuff done so started off leaving him for 5 mins, then playing for a bit and made it a bit longer each time. He is happy on his own and I am free to clean and cook and then play lots.

one room at a time to start off with

sweep the kitchen floor every time you cook / eat in there

at the end of doing some activity with the baby, tidy up what things you've got out - nappies and wipes / toys and books / clothes for washing & putting away.

And at the end of the day tidy the house so that it looks as you'd like it to look on waking up in the morning.

and if you can do this, one room at a time, one day at a time, you will overcome your messiness and train yourself to be tidier, and cleaner.

I had to transform from slob of the century to clean and tidy mum. If I can do it anyone can.

I wish dd would sit for 5 mins quietly. She is either screaming or bf. No in betweens. My ds is also clawing at me all the time for attention. I'm hoping this phase will pass soon, as it is really hard going! The cleaning will have to wait!

I have two under two. I clean around them and the oldest makes it play by helping with the dustpan and brush.

Its 100% achievable.

Rubyrubyruby-someone else on here gave it to me-im also crap.but it does get you in swing and having a list helps me!not that i always stick to it.but today i did everything on daily bit except clean bath(although i did do tiolet,sink and shelves in bathroom).ds2 loves to interfer help

I have bought a steam mop, which is great as I hated mopping my floor and it never looked clean with a normal mop as its an old. This gives me a bit of motivation as I want to make use of it. And you dont have to fill/empty mop bucket.

I have also bought some disposable cleaning wipes. I know it is anti environment and expensive in the long run, but if it keeps my house better, I cant complain. And cleaper than a cleaner!

Reading these posts make me motivated more than anything

This may be a daft question, but just how bad is it really? I think my house is a sh*t tip, but no-one else does!