what are your opinions of what the following are: an untidy house, a dirty house, a clean house

[katak]

People have such different ideas about housework.So, in the interests of finding a shared understanding of the topic of good and bad housekeeping, in your opinion what makes a house just untidy as opposed to actually dirty? Is it "unclean" to have dust on the skirting boards? Is it unclean to have cobwes anywhere at all?I don't think that either of those = dirty- but some people might.

If a basin is not cleaned every day, is that dirty?????

WHy do some people think that you need to "dust" everything daily in order to avoid "it building up?" What exactly are they are scared of building up???How can you dust daily- there would be no dust on day 2. And these people who dust all the time- are you actually cleaning too, or just removing dust? Do you get up on a chair and clean the tops of your kitchen units? Do you pull everything out form under all the beds daily and clean under there too?

How far do you take it? If someone does a big job in the loo, does it bother you if there remains a tiny bit of it in the loo bowl after flushing, for more than one day?
Do you judge people badly if you think there house is not clean/tidy enough?

wulfricsmummy - love that poem, I am going to print it out and hang it on my fridge door! Along with the magnets that say things like "a mind is a terrible thing to waste on housework" and "you can touch the dust but please don't write in it"

I have to keep on top of dust cos of my dust mite allergy. So apart from regular hoovering top to toe and all nooks, crannies, door tops, shelves, honest it takes hours just to hoover.
SO I kinda can't be arsed to get too bothered about the tidy bit.
We live in a small house so I cull clutter constantly and dont' have ornaments/unecessary stuff around. Just sling toys/lego/train set in the appropriate boxes and give the bathroom a quick wipe over on a saturday and thats about it really.
I prefer clean and untidy to anally clean and show house type - I don't take my kids to show house type friends anymore as its too stressful for me!

I cannot stand to visit a pristine home. I can't bear to sit there, it makes me intensely uncomfortable, like I am the dirtiest thing in the room. I must admit that I don't visit people with pristine houses, whether I have my children with me or not, and I'm afraid I do judge people who dust neurotically. I find they are the sort who helicopter around you with flash wipes and coasters.

I made a friend this year, and visited her house in January. I knew the moment I tripped over her daughter's PE kit (that her daughter should have taken to school) that we were going to be friends. I can sit in her house, having shifted myself a space on the sofa, and feel completely at home. I cannot relax in a pristine house, for fear of rumpling the cushions.

"I find they are the sort who helicopter around you with flash wipes and coasters."
See I find those kind of people maddening too, I had a friend who would take a dettol spray with her everywhere. My house is clean and tidy but I'm not anal.

Cat64, I'm at home mon-fri until 2pm, with a 3yr old and a 10week old, I'm busy believe me, it's not just because I have nothing else to do.

If I make a cup of tea the spoon goes in the sink, if there is a spoon, a cup and a plate, for example, yes I wash them up. My washing up never takes more than about 5 minutes, because I do it this way.

My parents don't really do housework. When I was little I used to be embarrassed about how messy our house was, though all my friends loved it because they could come and loaf about and not have to worry about putting feet on the sofas etc. Now it just annoys me when I go round there - they can never find anything and you take your life in your hands walking on the kitchen floor without shoes on...

I'm fairly tidy, but I don't mind a bit of dirt (am thinking of my manky cooker hob, which has one of those handy lids on which I can just put down and forget about it). Don't think I've ever cleaned the oven, and I don't do ironing if I can possibly help it. Our flat is cosy and comfortable, and a little bit cluttered, and that's the way we like it.

Actually, I don't know anyone with a pristine house. All my friends have better things to do than clean, I reckon

LOL, see 'm not that obsessive, I don't tidy the garden or kids toys until they either come in from the garden or go to bed.
I like the house to be tidy when I go out though because if it isn't it would be a tip by bedtime, if it's done when we come home then homework and dinner and toys and kids getting changed and the baby needing cluster feeds etc is manageable.

VS, would your anal friend with the dettol spray happen to have children who illogically seem to fall ill a lot?

cat64, if I am close to a person and have a good feel for her, I am happy to offer to clean up for friends who have just delivered a baby, as a gesture of help. Or if I am being entertained at a relatives' or close friend's house and there are a lot of dishes to be done, I would offer to help (or stack the dishwasher).

Otherwise, it will just be a little tidying and wiping of frequently used surfaces like kitchen tops and coffee tables. I have to admit I have never thought to offer my services to springclean. Though if there is a lot of clutter, the first thing that would have to be done is to de-clutter and that would be rather intrusive.

My main concern with offering is not really the amount of work, but the thought that the friend would get offended I noticed her house was messy and, erm, dirty. Some people don't notice the disorder and might be genuinely surprised and taken aback. Of course if the friend complained loudly about not having the time ...

No, she had not long had her PFB at the time, I think she has chilled out a bit since, plus PFB was looked after by nanny during work hours, nanny had already had 4 children and 4 grandchildren, and believed in a bit of dirt

I wouldn't necessarily offer to do someone's housework either, unless it was mess from them entertaining or they said that they weren't able to. When at MiL's at christmas she cooked a massive breakfast for eight people and was stuck in the kitchen so I went in and had to force her to let me wash up, anyone other than her I would've thought they felt offended by the offer if they had reacted the way she did, I know she just wanted me to not have to do it though.

i always kept my guineapig in the house and that created more dust all the time so I really couldn't be bothered to be dusting eevery day.. but it didn't smell, I have friends who would have told me.

I'm with charliecat etc on this one - my house is reasonably tidy (a bit lived in) but skirting boards etc get done once every so often. Bathroom about twice a month, hoovering about once a week/ten days. Inhabitants are expected to leave the loo clean if they make marks, and it gets a good going over when I do the bathroom. Kitchen surfaces, table etc always wiped down after every meal, but floor about once a month.

Noone ever lay on their deathbed thinking 'I wish I'd spent more time cleaning and hadn't bothered playing with my children/going out in the sunshine/making friends on MN'

I'm with you, colditz. Neurotically tidy people make me nervous, like they are noticing dust instead of listening to what I'm talking about! I went round to an old friend's house who I hadn't seen for years a while ago. She had turned into a clean freak since our wild youth and to be quite honest I'm surprised the sofas didn't still have their plastic covers on. There was no warmth or anything personal in the house and the kids' toys were tidied up the second (and I mean the second) they were put down.

I would say an unclean house is somewhere where the kitchen and bathroom are caked in dirt/food and there is alot of clutter/rubbish lying around. I don't like this as it's not hygenic.
Too clean is probably someone who does 'everything' every day.
Personally we wipe kitchen surfaces and do washing up after every meal, hoover every other day, dust about once a week, mop floors about once a fortnight and do the other things like skirting boards and doors as and when, probably about once a month.
Not saying this is right or anything, it's just how often I feel I need to do it without it driving me mad!

So............??? Is anyone going to let me into the secret....how do you do all the stuff mentioned on this thread and work aswell???? I do my best but nowhere near as much has been posted on here!!

I like clean loo, sink etc and like plates and cups clean, but have dust on the skirting board, which I probably get around to wiping off about once a month.
I don't mind a bit of mess, but if somebody is making me a cup of tea, I like the cup to be clean, and not to feel any strange, alien surfaces against my lips.
We have piles of stuff which I find difficult to deal with - can't decide whether to give it to a charity shop, throw it in a bin or stick it on Ebay. I think the current preoccupation with recycling is very difficult to reconcile with a tidy home. I feel so guilty throwing things in the bin now.
Just as the title of the thread suggests, for me mess is such a relative term. I do like beautiful objects and fine art, or 'found' art, so not very keen on houses with very little inside. Much more impressed by homes full of interesting collections or a clever display of photographs, or an eclectic mix of books. I know people who would feel that was mess though. One friend considers books on a bookshelf to be too messy and cluttered.

I used to have a friend at school who had to put whatever book she was reading back in the bookcase every time she put it down, it wasn't allowed to lie out anywhere. Her house was pristine and she had to keep her bedroom the same way at all times. Now of course I wonder whether her mum had some form of OCD - I can't imagine it was a very comfortable atmosphere to grow up in.

I was thinking about this today.
I never feel bad about keeping important things clean, like the loo or making sure I don't cross contaminate with food etc... and I sometimes feel guilty that I don't keep the house as tidy and clean as I could. Sometimes I quite enjoy the mindless, productivity of cleaning, but I am always half thinking of what other people will think of the house, not what I think. So it's kind of driven by guilt most of the time.
Then when I do clean for a while, I feel guilty because I am not being an ubermum, and spending lots of quality time with my little boy, developing his mind.
And when I have a room looking very tidy, I then feel guilty because I worry about my DP or DS moving things of messing it up, and nag them.
So basically, I just feel guilty whatever I do.