How can we share household chores and create a workable family rota?

[popsickle555]

I’ve recently taken over (or should I say we!) cleaning from our cleaner who was doing 3 hours a week for us. We can’t afford her sadly and I would love to know:

• what jobs to give my kids who are 14 and 11. The 11 year old is tiny so not good with anything too big, 14 year old is capable but very busy / has a lot of homework and long school days (7.30-5.30) so realistically can only help a bit on weekends.
• DH is helpful but needs instruction
• i actually quite like cleaning but don’t enjoy tidying much.
• I do all laundry and all cooking in the week. DH washes up and cleans kitchen and does bins (I’m wfh always, he’s wfh 3 days plus weekends obviously)
• kids occasionally help with dishwasher etc but we need a rota or routine
• since cleaner finished I’ve done the ‘cleaning’ and DH does hoovering and I’ve got him to mop the kitchen today
• kids change their own sheets

What can I do to bring order to chaos?! It’s not that unclean but tends to look untidy quite a lot! the Kids rooms are not bad, they do quite well to keep them orderly ish. We have a large ish house. 4 bedrooms, 2
Receptions, 3 bathrooms and a playroom/laundry/garage type thing. No dogs. I think I’m spending 2-3 hours a day approx currently on housework and managing but would like to share it out a bit more.

I'm presuming both you and your DH work full time?

I moved from 0.6 to FT when our DC were 12 and 14. Prior to that id been doing most of the housework. At that point, DC became responsible for their own laundry. After a couple of weeks of them dumping their PE kit in the corner of the room and expecting the fairies to clean it, they actually got the hang of it pretty quickly.

Due to their school bus going v early I didn't make them unload the dishwasher on school days, but it was their responsibility weekends and school holiday.

DH and I blitzed the house on Saturday mornings. One of us would do upstairs (apart from kids rooms), the other would do downstairs. Then we'd swap the following week.

DC were responsible for their own rooms.

It worked pretty well. I still did all the cooking but I really like cooking, it's my "me" time.

Thank you. No I don’t actually work full time. I work school hours Monday-Thursday and I’m usually off on Friday so i definitely have more time but I do feel during that time I’m usually ferrying children about to clubs and also pick ups and then the cooking! DH works full time, 2 days from office and 3 from home. He generally cooks one night a week so I need to increase that as it seems unfair really. I also do all food shopping etc.

Actually splitting the house isn’t a bad idea. Might try that! Laundry…I think it’s my biggest frustration as it takes hours and hours. They all put their stuff away but I wash and fold and iron their shirts. My eldest could do it though and she breaks up mid July so from then I will have a helper. She is actually helpful but busy so I guess I just end up doing everything really.

We share. My Partner does all food shopping and cooking so he likes that.

I do all laundry etc.
we share the cleaning. Do it as we go. And bigger blitz on the weekend.
we both work full time. Out of the house.

my DC do no chores - only one at home now anyway.

What worked well in our house was that dh and I take full responsibility for completely different things. That way he carries the decision making and entire mental load for his area of responsibility. As I do for mine.

But I give the dc shared chores to alternate each day. When there is a problem, 90% of the time they figure it out between them. They police each other so I don’t have to, they negotiate to swap with each other instead of making excuses to me.

They are responsible for keeping their rooms tidy, and expected to help tidy up downstairs every day (about 2 mins) and to help set up and clear away meals together.

I also have a household folder with detailed step by step instructions on how to do laundry/ clean the bathroom/ empty a litter tray. I direct dh and the dc to it, because questions are just a veiled plea for mum to take over.

Following along

By that age our teens were all expected to cook one family meal per week.

The ones that weren't cooking were expected to unload the dishwasher and to lay the table and get everyone a drink before the evening meal.

Everyone has always been expected to clear the table / load the dishwasher with what they have used. Cook is expected to tidy up as they go along and load dishwasher either as they empty or finish using something or after the meal, as they prefer.
Everyone obviously responsible for their own bedrooms and a reasonable contribution towards keeping the bathroom clean and tidy.

Like you, I worked PT, so felt it reasonable that I did more than the others in terms of the rest of the stuff, but generally all expected to help out as and when they were around with things like bringing the shopping in and putting it away, or hanging out washing, etc.

Involving the kids is essential not just for now but to make sure they are able to look after themselves and contribute when older. My 11 year old does his room keeps the playroom clean and dishwasher every other day. My 14 year old does her room and bathroom, dishwasher every other day and her own laundry (mostly). She has been complaining about not having enough money and not being able to find a job so no I told her I would pay to do a bit of cleaning every week.

Yes I’ve done this with my 14 year old in the holidays and it’s worked brilliantly. She doesn’t get pocket money and so earns it via jobs when she’s off. I pay quite well as it makes her do a good job but I need to get my 11 year old into it now I’m realising!

i think kids could do turn about bathroom clean once a fortnight each. Same with emptying all bins.
Good they change their own sheets.
could they be in charge of dinner one night a week eg making a salad and heating up pizzas on a Friday?
have ‘look around and put things away’ on kids rota a couple of times a week.
have everyone in the family write on a whiteboard when they spot something running low.
Kids could also wipe surfaces and Hoover own rooms once a week.
a list they can tick on their set days would be great.