Help me get my house in order…please

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

I have ADHD and a whole host of other diagnoses and my house is organised chaos. It drives DH nuts. But I don’t know how to sort it. I looked at TOMM but the first thing it recommended was a housekeeping bootcamp with no guidance which is exactly what I struggle with.

Any hints or tips would be most gratefully received. I almost applied for Stacy Solomon’s program until
it dawned on me my house would have to be on television.

Maybe you could look at things completely differently - it’s unlikely that any programme is going to turn you into a tidy, organised person who thinks “oh, it’s day 4 of the housekeeping cycle so today I’m dusting blinds!” Because that’s not you.

So what you need to do is define exactly where the heart of the problem lies - it could be more about communication and relationship with a (fussy?) dh. Or it could be your own frustration with yourself -does the adhd leave you feeling inadequate? Do you compare yourself and your home to an unattainable image of perfection?

So whittle it down for us… is this a “messy” problem or a “not clean” problem? Or both? If it’s “not clean” then is the problem daily chores or big jobs like defrosting the freezer?

And what really triggers dh? These are areas to tackle first as if he’s calmer, you’re calmer. Is it not being able to find things? Food waste? A messy kitchen? Half-finished craft projects? Shelves full of unread books? A stack of unopened mail? A cupboard full of obsolete cables and junk? Twenty pairs of shoes in the hallway? Or coming home to another delivery from the shops when the house seems full already? Something else?

is he being reasonable, or does he need to accommodate the fact this is a busy home that you share with him?

The best single piece of advice I ever received about your home is DECLUTTER.

Less stuff = less to organise. It’s that simple.

The second piece of necessary advice is: Find a place for everything you own and when you use something, it should go right back where it came from. Even if that means you have to get up and walk upstairs to put it away.

The best habits for a Declutterer are therefore:

1. stop buying pointless stuff you don’t truly need. Online shopping is your worst enemy here.
2. Do a wardrobe clear out. Including bags and shoes! If you haven’t worn it in the past year, and can’t ever see yourself wearing it (be honest!) even if you like it - give it away or sell it on Vinted.
3. have an “eating up month” where you meal-plan your way to eating up your cupboard stocks
4. Pick a drawer/cupboard per week with dh go through it and declutter. How many mugs and baking trays do you own? Do you need them? What about that cupboard of bills and spare stationery?
5. if you took it out, put it back where it comes from. Every.Single.Time.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered , the less you own the easier being organised is. Difficult if you have children but not impossible. Think about which room in your home bothers you most and set aside a day or a weekend if possible, get someone else to care for children. I always find that it helps me when I do housework to listen to podcasts. Go into that room with some bin bags and take everything out (but not all at once). Decide if each item is essential in your or someone else in your household’s life. Be brutal. Put all the things you intend to keep to one side and divide the rest into groups either to be sold (Vinted/Facebook marketplace) thrown or given to charity. Dispose of the inessential items accordingly and then set about putting back those things you are keeping in logical order, use boxes ideally labelled to help.
Repeat this exercise for each room in your home and regularly ask yourself if items have ceased to be essential and if they have dispose of them.
put a basket by the stairs at the top and bottom to put things in that need to move between floors, when you move the basket put its contents away before you do anything else and then put it back in its place. Enlist your entire household as much as they are able in keeping organised, this is not your task alone.
I didn’t used to be organised at all when I was younger, I was chaos personified 😂 but I have trained myself over the years and I find having a tidy, organised home so much more peaceful; I would never return to my previous ways. Good luck!