Child of a hoarder wanting to change

[Bleakmidwinter38]

Hi
I grew up in a hoarders home , over the years I found myself having hoarder traits couldn’t get rid of stuff easily, however over the last few years I’ve done well and sold things , charity shopped things and binned things .
I do not want my children growing up like I did so made sure they each have drawers for clothes and a clothes rail in there room ( sounds basic but I had to deal with getting my clothes from an huge pile from the kitchen each time )
Anyway we have moved into a new build a couple of years ago where there is little / no storage . I’d say my house is cluttered as we have a lot of stuff mainly in storage boxes atm as no where to put them I am determined to get my house in order and already started on the kitchen drawers which was filled with unnecessary paperwork and random items. I’ve also ordered a bathroom under sink storage cabinet . I’m not too sure what I’m asking maybe just some support as it is difficult but I do not want my children getting the traits as I’m concerned already as they both struggle getting rid of things and one is a hoarder of soft toys.

how would you sort the house out I’m trying to do one room at a time but it’s overwhelming. Any other advice id appreciate thank you

Start by getting therapy.

Then decide what an UNhoarded house would look like to you, and how it would feel for you to live in a home like that.

You will not succeed in this project as long as you are operating from.a sense of shame about your house and your parenting, and feelings about your family of origin.

Seek emotional clarity first. The rest will follow.

Thank you I’ve had therapy in the past regarding this/ my childhood and I’ve been no contact with my parents for years. NC wasn’t to do with the hoarding.
My house atm isn’t a hoarders house ( apart from my dd room which is full of soft toys in storage boxes.
id say it’s cluttered which I’m trying to tackle room by room but wanted to know if any tips or any advice to get the house in order. I do not want to be a minimalist but I do want to achieve a house where there is little clutter but a house lived in.

Theres a fantastic book called How to Keep House While Drowning which I couldn't recommend more. It helped me enormously, I listened to the audio book several times and it really helped me shift my mindset and have a better system.

I’d you listen to podcasts there’s a great podcast by two Australian ladies called “The art of decluttering”. Listen to that while decluttering and tidying for hints and tips.

For me, I try to stick to a rule of matching stuff to the storage space rather than the other way round. So for toys / clothes etc I decide what storage I want to have / what looks nice / what fills a space - and I choose what to put into it and get rid of everything else. I only need one wardrobe of clothes, so if it’s full I don’t add any more. We are living 4 in a 2-bed flat, and we aren’t overwhelmed with stuff at all. My mum, otoh, has her and my dad in a 4/5 bed house - and she’s thinking about building on to give herself ‘more room’ 🙄 rather than just get rid of some stuff.

For keeping it looking tidy:

organised storage, a place for everything and everything in it’s place.
The floor is not for storage - only furniture goes on the floor.
The tops of cupboards are not for storage - inside only.

I always recommend A Slob Comes Clean for very sensible decluttering tips. (Dana K White). She’s lovely and very honest about her own issues, she still has to work on things after years.

She does a podcast which I found sort of hypnotises me into decluttering while I listen, and she’s written a few short books, very focused, no flannel, very practical. She changed my life and house!

Radio 4 All in the mind today 9:30 a.m was about 'Why do we hoard?'
BBC Radio 4 - All in the Mind, Why do we hoard?

I'm a hoarder, and most of the advice people give on these threads (not necessarily this one) doesn't help.
There's more to it than decluttering.

You have done amazingly well, @Bleakmidwinter38 . I'd be reluctant to get 'storage' because you'll fill it. As pp, match the stuff to the storage space.
If your child gets a new toy, an old one has to go.
If you are getting storage, I'd get tall units with a small footprint.
Label drawers or boxes clearly.

Encourage your children to be tidy- a place for everything and everything in its place.

I keep out of season clothes and 'sparks joy but I never wear' in storage boxes, stacked.
My clutter is on surfaces - everywhere.