Men loading dishwashers, lighthearted (I think)

[twiddlingthumbs69]

Now, in the great scheme of things this is of no consequence.

So why does it drive me to distraction? I mean, how hard is it FFS? It’s simple logic that the bottom tray of the dishwasher will take more than one frying pan!

Every bloody day I open it and have to move things around! Every day!!!!!

I’ve tried explaining the logic around it, that hasn’t worked. I’ve thought about drawing a little diagram but he wouldn’t look at it.

if I bring it up again I suspect I’ll get the response, well, you do it then I can’t to right for doing wrong! (A well trotted out phrase)

maybe that’s the point. Do a job so badly that their not asked (begged) to help.

as I say, a small thing but one that very well may be the last straw if it carries on.

am I alone in this?

I made a Very Serious Announcement one morning that the government were bringing in a law to introduce prosecution for people who still, in ten years of owning a food processor, can't understand that you need to separate the different parts of the lid to ensure it gets properly cleaned in the dishwasher... At the time the message seems to be received but a few months later it's been forgotten again. Sympathy OP, I am also married to a man who has many skills but can't understand logical dishwasher stacking. As well as the aforementioned food processor issue he likes to stack multiple layers of stuff so nothing gets properly cleaned at all!

I’m completely baffled by them. I really don’t understand the thought processes involved. In most ways my DH is ideal, in others it’s like living with a 3 year old with no attention span.

In every couple there’s the person who stacks the dishwasher like a Swedish architect, and the other person, who stacks it like a crazed raccoon. I’m the crazed raccoon so can’t offer any insights, sorry.

In our house, I stack the dishwasher, he unloads it. Works for us.

It’s not just men, it’s teenagers too. I’m assuming when the frontal lobe is fully developed at 25 ( or whatever ) they will wake up and magically know how to load the dishwasher to maximum efficiency

In the early days of our relationship, I actually had a session with a therapist where I mostly vented about how we differed in our opinions of how to wash up and how to load a dishwasher. It really wound me up and I just couldn’t see past it.
Sixteen years later, I’m mostly over it! I know I wind him up equally as much in other ways.
For example, I’m rubbish at mowing the lawn, I’m scared of going in the attic, I don’t like dealing with car stuff, I never know what I want to eat, I’m obsessed with the bin rota, etc. 😂🤦‍♀️
But my god, the dishwasher makes me so furious… and how he pours tea in the side basin but doesn’t run water over it to properly clear it out. Also, Weetabix crumbs on the kitchen island. 🤬

I actually drive my husband mad with my haphazard way of loading the dishwasher. He's the Swedish architect and I'm the raccoon on meth!

My DH is an equal partner in household tasks. He is a mechanical engineer, can do most anything thrown at him, but struggles with the dishwasher!! He fills it, empties it, without being asked, but on a full to briming run, I carry out the final jiggle as he struggles with the tesalation and knows he does! First world problem, just interesting he is not alone.

Unless they are male, presumably?

Nope, Other way around in our house. He’s the expert.
Why do people like OP always assume all men are the same?
Then they come back and say “No, not all men, most men..” Well no actually just the useless MN ones.

@Notmyreality because, in my experience, and years of extensive research, they are

Another crazed raccoon here. Thankfully DH is the dishwasher stacking Tetris master.

100% this! I am the Swedish architect, my dh is the raccoon on meth 😆

I have to not say anything and look away when he does it if I'm in the kitchen at the same time. If I add a few more bits later before switching on, I usually move things around. As most things wash fine, I keep quiet, but if he asks if things washed ok I will say if they haven't.

What IS the secret to sublime dishwasher stacking? Can we have tips and rules please for the raccoons like me?

I only touch the dishwasher when himself has cooked, and even then he does the unpacking the next morning whilst I feed the cats.

I leave it all to him, if it isn't done properly, I put it back in in a weird angle. Which annoys him so he has to move it.

Create a rule where anything that doesn't fit has to be handwashed on the spot and can't be left out for the next cycle [my house growing up] . It's amazingly motivational to become a champion dishwasher loader. I loathe washing up.

Im married to a racoon and live with two teenage ones. To be fair to DH he does wash up the saucepans etc that don't go in the machines because he does a much better job than me.

I do regularly send my kids passive aggressive clips of Michael McIntyre talking about leaving stuff "in the zone of the dishwasher" and his wife's response. Cracks me up.

Crazed racoon here - but it all fits in and comes out clean. DH is very methodical.

Crazed racoon here too.

I have so much sympathy for all the Swedish architects because you don’t realise what’s possible, until you’re in love, and it’s too late. Whereas we know, and know better than to marry a fellow racoon. Sorry not sorry

My DH can load a car boot like it's a game of tetris but just chucks stuff randomly in the dishwasher.

It’s not a man thing. It’s just that some people are weirdly psychopathic about there being one correct way to load a dishwasher when that is just not true.

I, the woman and wife in my relationship, often say “if I’m not doing it right, you can do it” to my DH, a man, who critiques at length my dishwasher filling abilities.

Guess what, if I fill it, run it and empty it without him seeing he has not once pulled something out of the cupboard and said it hasn’t been properly dish-washed. Ergo proving that my way of stacking it (which is apparently like a blind man) is perfectly adequate and truly if you want it done another way then you can do it.

Not weaponised incompetence, just not psychopathic standards.

I think we could be best friends. Love from another raccoon married to an architect

Gender stereotypes.

this is one that makes me laugh. Because the male stereotype is men are naturally better at maths, engineering, spatial awareness, building etc..

the jobs that apply those skills are male dominated- architecture, bricklayers, builders etc…

yet when it comes to loading a dishwasher, which requires all the above skills, women happily say men cannot use those skills, and it is in fact women who are the experts.

what is it about kitchen related activities that suddenly render men incapable of carrying out tasks they should be “naturally” better at? Why do women develop excellent spatial awareness in a domestic setting, but not in a workplace?

or could stereotypes be bollocks and men do what services them best, while women buy into it.

as it happens I’m the one with the spatial awareness and maths/science/engineering skills. Dh is an artist. It’s still me who stacks the dishwasher.

Opposite in our house, DH far better at stacking efficiently etc. And far more likely to actually get laundry all the way done and put away, as just two examples. I am most definitely the racoon here.

Oh god, I'm not alone!!! DH is generally very capable at most things but loading the dishwasher is beyond him. He stacks things on top of each other, overloads it, and then looks all confused when it comes out as dirty as it went in.. it's been even worse since we went to a 2 drawer type dishwasher. It's like he just can't grasp the concept that water has to run freely around things to clean them. Bizarre.

I am the one in our house who plans how to load the dishwasher in order to get the best use of the space in it. To get the most stuff into it while knowing that it will still get washed.

I find I can get loads in if it is stacked properly. DD2 isn't too bad at it either. DH will have it full after about three or four items.