Tick tock tick tock stress bomb countdown - house cleaning/relatives issues.

[ColumboEtc]

OK, fate is conspiring against me.

I have relatives coming over the weekend (2 lots, ffs) and house is a mess. Lots of cardboard boxes/packing materials that DH has procrastinated taking away, old sofa in the hallway awaiting procrastinating freecycle collector, etc etc plus my study literally knee deep in papers and things that don't have a home elsewhere. 3 bathrooms in need of a good going over etc. etc. Other rooms not awful but need at least a quicky tidy and run round with a duster and hoover.

13 month old who is being very clingy and alternating the clinginess with destructive abandon hence very difficult to get anthing done, also very tired as DS was up during the night for 3 flipping hours and we're all shattered.

I have been trying to do stuff since Monday but due to above paragraph have not got on as well as I would have liked. Do you reckon 2 days is long enough to do the house from top to bottom? Have already de-cluttered and cleaned the utility room and living room. 2 down 5 to go.

(breathes into brown paper bag to quell impending panic attack)

I can do a house top to bottom in about 7 hours and have it gleaming.

Can you offload the kid first thing am and get cracking?

Are you hiding in my house? I can't see any toddlers. Wander round the house sticking post-its on all the things that need doing and retire to bed. Maybe th helpful fairies will turn in the night.... If not, maybe DH will be embarrassed by hundreds of post-its saying "DP - To take to dump". And re-post on freecyle saying "first come first served".

See, Moondog, that's what I thought. I was sure I used to do the pre-parental "we live in a gleaming spotless house" thing the day before they got here, sometime the morning before. So either my house has got a lot worse or the toddler is cramping my style

No chance of offloading DS tomorrow. But the stress of not wanting to seem a slattern to your inlaws is a marvelous impetus when it comes to it, eh?

Dump the kid in front of tv in playpen?
Or start tonight and get a load done.

yes to both. I have my trusty timer at the ready so no slacking. Yawn.

Get cracking.
Your mil will think you amazing.
(My dh home from abroad tomorrow after 6 weeks away and i will be doing similar mercy hoover dash.)

Relax you have plenty of time...do you have a playpen for baby or travel cot to keep them safely contained whilst you run around- tidy up, dust then hoover and clean bathrooms. Just work systematically around the house. Then put out fresh flowers in a few main rooms, fresh towels in the bathrooms and spray some lavender oil decanted into water to make the house smell luvverly..................good luck!

I always start with the rooms people will see that way if I don't get finished at least the rooms they are all in are looking fab, I can shut the doors on the others.

My trick I have is to have large lidded baskets or big toy chest and then in an emergency I can dump loads into thoses

Your toddler will have to learn. I moved house with a very very clingy 15 month old and had to pack an entire 3 bed house myself in 2 weeks (DH had moved with his job and I was desperately trying to follow) Although I couldn't pick him up, he was at my heels the whole time.

I dust with my hoover, use an old towel to clean a bathroom putting flash on one corner and drying with the other end (trick I learnt when I used to clean hotel rooms) and when your DH comes home get him to spend time with your wee one so you can crack on.

Rope in help if you can.

Fizzy that sounds like a plan. I have made a start and I reckon I can do it by tomorrow evening. As you say, if all else fails I will do the old "chuck stuff into boxes and hide them under the stairs" thing.