How to approach this

[LittleArithmetics]

I've agreed to help a relative sort out their house. It's like a hoarder house - piles of stuff mounded up everywhere. But I think the issue is extreme disorganisation and lack of skills to deal with it, more than specific hoarder tendencies if that makes sense. Relative is a solo parent, and their spouse died, so there will probably be emotional connections to some of the stuff which may make it hard to get rid of things. I'm really looking for practical tips for how best to approach the task and make as much progress as possible in a limited timeframe.

Can you prioritise rooms - eg kitchen, bathroom? Where there is likely to be less emotional attachment to stuff? Start with out of date food and multiple items of equipment.

Or prioritise safety - so get rid of stuff on the stairs, blocking escape routes etc.

Things for charity shop/rubbish get out of the house straight away.

Arm yourself with cleaning products, bin bags etc.

Don't try and do too much in one go. overwhelm is a thing.

Leave the potentially sentimental things for towards the end.

Is there a goal at the end - eg do they want a clear, calm sitting room.

My favourite follows on Instagram for this sort of thing are:

• Orjenise Based in Leeds has a lived in looking home - is not minimalist! Has some lovely baby step type declutters.
• theorganisedmum Systematic, doesn't like cleaning, has clutter buster programmes/bootcamp. Suggests going into a room and sorting in one direction rather than flitting from place to place
• declutterdollies Dily from sort your life out, plus some of her Dollies. She's scary. She was very poorly a few years ago and her tips on organising for her after care at home were (I thought) spot on. Systemise is her catchphrase . She seems to be a big fan of matching storage boxes, which is lovely, but potentially expensive!.

I'm also a big fan of the 'Sunday Basket' - which is a system where you basically stick everything paperworky in a 'basket' and sort out once a week, with the todo into labelled folders which are in the basket.. So it allows forward planning - I used it loads when my children were at school and I needed to plan for school trips, assemblies and events, but you can use it for anything 'life' orientated - so hospital appointment letters, bills, etc. I just used a basket from B&M big enough to take A4 paper and then some cheap dividers with labels on - mine currently say. Business, Work, Bank, Council, Car, Hobby, and Health, but they do periodically change.

I've been watching Facebook reels by a woman called Kayleen Kelly Home Organiser whose speciality is extreme decluttering (ie, hoarding levels but the person is not a hoarder but very disorganised & overwhelmed).

She starts in just one room by collecting all the stuff that doesn't belong in that room. It goes to the room it belongs to (doesn't have to be put away, just put in the right room) or in the bin if it's rubbish.

As she does that she starts to categorise(putting like with like, eg clothes, books, toiletries all in piles). If those piles are very big, it might be useful to categorise further eg clothes into tops, jumpers, jeans, underwear, PJs. This is so you can see what you've actually got.

Step 3 is cut out. Eg, you find 15 pairs of jeans but how many actually fit? How many do you actually need?

Step 4 is contain, ie putting them back into their proper homes. This might mean reorganising, perhaps because things fit into different spaces now or where you were putting them doesn't work and that led to the clutter.

She doesn't cover how to make the decisions or indeed where to dispose of stuff...

I think the first priority would be encouraging them to seek some support from their GP. Grief can sometimes lead to hoarding and sometimes medication and counselling can be needed.

As for tackling the house, i would start with the kitchen. Empty bins, wash up and put away dishes. Then start on throwing away any out of date food. It is going to take a long while to sort but once the kitchen is done at least they have the opportunity to prepare food.

Transparent boxes with labels. Where they don't have to fold but can just throw things in. Nothing behind closed doors.

Thanks to everyone who has posted suggestions. I'll definitely check out the various Instagram people.

I like the 4 step method outlined by @DisplayPurposesOnly and I like the Sunday basket idea too.

@BunnyRuddington Just to clarify that these problems long pre-date the bereavement. Things certainly got worse at that time, but the house was always very messy for years previously. That's not to downplay the grief aspect, and I'm sure some support for that might be helpful, but there is an underlying lack of organisational skill which is separate from the grief, but doubtless exacerbated by it.