AIBU can’t stay on top of housework

[rasberrypie1]

So I work 3 full days a week and have 2 days off during the week and weekends. My husband is home at weekends and I have my two boys on the days off in the week (4 & 2).

My house is always an absolute tip, it’s so messy. Every single room. Full of toys, clutter just general mess, every time I clean it’s a mess again within an hour and I feel overwhelmed, I don’t know where to start. I can’t seem to find the time to do a deep clean, even the bathrooms are neglected. My husband says we can get a cleaner but I’m too embarrassed for the cleaner to come because of the mess. I completely lack any motivation to clean, I find when ever I get a minute I’m scrolling on my phone.

How do people stay on top of their homes whilst working and having the children at home the rest of the time, this is genuine I need advice as to how I can manage this as I am embarrassed to have anyone come round.

thanks

The organised mum method, massive declutter and rotate your toys, teach your kids early to pick up after themselves.

a cleaner won’t pick up after you or tidy.

husband should be helping? Yes you are at home more but aren’t doing nothing, so proportional to that.

Oh and invite people over, it will stick a rocket up your arse.

Get rid of as much as possible in terms of toys and clutter. Getting rid of lots of stuff in dc's room has helped a lot. I also toy rotate my youngest so his room isn't just one massive pile of toys.
Robot hoover
Get into a routine. We do dishwasher and washing machine on at night (cheap electric) clothes go out in the morning before DC get up, dishwasher is unloaded.
Weekends I hoover everywhere properly, mop and do bathrooms and kitchen.

Life is busy and finding time to keep up is tricky.

All adults within a household should contribute. Finding the system that works for you is essential. Clutterbug and minimal mom are both great youtube channels ro check out, along with many others.

Don't be disheartened, we all get messy and overwhelmed and need to just switch off and scroll or read etc.

Exactly this. I struggle with cleaning but I do am excellent job in a mad panic before people come over so that helps. I also clean up before the cleaning person comes because of my deep shame!

How much time do you have not at work or not solely in charge of children. As that’s your only time to ‘deep clean’. If it’s zero or close to zero - there is your answer

If you can get childcare for the two days your off work and see if DH can get the time off too or find child care for one weekend and you two together blitz the home to the best of your ability. Chuck out anything old, broken or if you have more than one of as clutter is the devil, if you haven’t got one get a carpet steamer, a descent floor cleaner, do several loads of washing and just do all that you can

I would say look at TOMM, do the level 1 and level 3 and get a cleaner for the rest.

Tomorrow spend half a day each with the kids. Both of you spend the other half a day decluttering and chucking rubbish and returning thing to the right rooms.

I used to put dd in nursery for half a day and blitz it. Now I'm full time I have a weekly cleaner and just do a top up at weekends. I actually prefer working a bit more so I can afford to avoid the full clean

This is all such helpful advice thanks everyone, thought I might have been told to get a grip and not to be lazy so thank you for taking the time to reply to me.
I will look into everything you have all suggested and start a positive week next week.

Nah, it’s hard with little ones to get into a good routine. It’s easier when they are immobile babies! Little and often, get the kids involved in tidying and one basket of toys out at a time.

firstly, don’t be hard on yourself. Your kids are little and you are busy! If I were you I would get the house to a decent standard then 100% get a weekly cleaner (if I could afford it).

find it really hard to stay on top of housework! Some things that work for me are having less stuff, delegating tasks and having a strict routine.

I would get rid of anything broken or unused, Marie Kondo the shit out of every single room - maybe plan the day you are going to do that room, schedule in a friend to help have the kids few hours , or take turns with partner to sort/watch kids.. or give them a really nice snack and a film to keep them occupied… or do it after they in bed?

having less stuff means the stuff you keep won’t be constantly spilling out all over. This includes clothes and toys. This is a BIG help, in my opinion.

when you have less stuff, give everything a home. Teach the kids to put toys away- put pictures in the box or basket that toys go in so they can learn to do this independently.

routines help me stay on top of the daily stuff. Dishwasher goes on every night without fail, and I empty it every morning while coffee is brewing. This means it’s empty for the day and everything goes in it.. then after tea time it gets put on and kitchen bin gets put out.

I wash a load of clothes every night… set the timer on the washing machine so it is finished in the morning for when I get up. Then I bung the load in the dryer after I’ve done the dishwasher in the morning. I unload and fold clothes after work, pile on each bed and everyone outs own stuff away. I don’t iron.

Saturday is jobs day. My kids are older and each have a job. But I started them early and would get them to ‘help’ me from being very young. Give a kid a baby wipe and they will delight in cleaning the skirting boards!

Every Saturday the bathroom gets cleaned, house hoovered through and hard floors mopped, bins all emptied, and everyone goes through each room and removes their belonging that have accumulated (they go into the bedrooms). We do fun stuff after the jobs are done. If I don’t insist on this Saturday ‘dig out’ the house slides into chaos.

I work full time , am ADHD and naturally chaotic …this is the only way that I can maintain a reasonably clean and tidy home.

I don’t let kids have mountains of clothes at a time.

I periodically donate clothes and random stuff to the charity shop.

Everyone has named jobs and has to pitch in (I recognise my kids are bigger so can do jobs … but they are messy teens so it’s all relative ! )