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Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

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Original poster

2 toddlers and nice living room..... is it possible???????????

25 replies

nicand2 · 26/05/2008 19:37

I have 2 DS's who are 3 and 18 months.

Please could all you other mumsneters let me know if you are able to keep your living areas free from damage as I am really struggling.

My DH thinks it should be a simple case of keeping a closer eye on them so that things don't get spilt/scratched/dented/poked etc. I have tried to explain that there is bound to be some wear and tear with 2 so young (DS1 is also autistic so is very impulsive which doesn't help) We used to have a lovely smart living room and I'm not sure if this in inevitable or if I should be better at parenting?

OP posts:

nickytwotimes · 26/05/2008 19:44

Let dh have an afternoon with them and he'll soon find out how messy and destructive toddlers can be!

It is inevitable that there will be some minor damage and that the place will be a tip whenever they are not in their beds. i have a 21 mth old and even as a neat freak I have got dented everything, stains and broken bits and pieces. We are lucky to have a kitchen/family room as well as a living room and use this most of the time, but even on the rare occassions we are in the living room, things get touched with sticky hands, dented or dropped often within seconds.

You are a fine parent! Tell him to wise up, lol!

lizziemun · 26/05/2008 19:45

No, unless you have a seperate playroom, so you have an adult only room.

Perhaps you should do what dh suggests, then when he complains that the rest of the house is a mess and no cooking done ask him does he want you to watch the children all the time or that you may have a bit of wear and tear to your house.

Othersideofthechannel · 26/05/2008 19:51

I don't think it is possible to keep them completely free from damage. You can't ban all play downstairs with children that age!

We have managed to keep the sofa and armchairs in reasonable condition by only eating/drinking at the dining table or in the kitchen (adults and children alike). We also have a specific table away from the living room furniture for cutting/sticking play dough.

But the coffee table has been completely trashed by cars being driven on it etc. Fortunately it's a cheap one we bought as a "temporary" replacement for our glass topped one which is in bubble wrap in the garage. And there are a few dribble and snot marks on the sofa etc.

eenybeeny · 26/05/2008 19:53

They WILL get messy and damaged. Your DH has unrealistic expectations I am afraid. You are in the right on this one!

julen · 26/05/2008 19:54

Of course that's not possible - you're quite right. Getting your DH to look after them on his own for a day sounds the way to go!!

ILoveDolly · 26/05/2008 19:55

I have restricted crayoning to a wipeclean area of the room. having a playroom/main toy area helps contain damage............

hullygully · 26/05/2008 19:57

It's perfectly possible without being a maniac. Eat and drink at the kitchen table only (have never understood why people let their kids wander round with food, like, duh?!), then plastic cloth over the table for painting, play doh, drawing etc. Put everything else out of their reach eg plants etc, it's not for long. Mind you, my definition of a nice living room may be very diff from yours..

Original poster

nicand2 · 26/05/2008 20:57

Thanks for replies.

We do have a playroom of sorts but it's sometimes difficult to use as DH works from home in room next to it and my boys aren't quiet players. I was feeling a bit more confident in my parenting skills and decided to try and use this room a bit more to limit damage but now my DH has just walked in and said he is going to have the playroom for all his nice stuff - hifi, playstation etc and the kids can have all the toys upstairs. To explain we have a 3 story terrace house so living room is on middle floor. I feel so worked up now, i don't usually rant on here but I am so angry about it.

OP posts:

Uriel · 26/05/2008 20:59

So he wants a nice living room and the playroom?

hullygully · 26/05/2008 21:03

He has a playstation? Nuff said.

Original poster

nicand2 · 26/05/2008 21:05

He's decided to give up on the living room we get to have the tv and a cheap dvd player and I'm assuming the kids can run riot as all his stuff is in the playroom! I feel really disloyal to him as we are normally very happy but I feel he is putting his pocessions before me - and the kids- life is quite frankly hard enough with an asd child this is pushing me to my limit. Am i just worked uo and getting this out of proportion??? feel really down

OP posts:

nkf · 26/05/2008 21:07

I'd say it's inevitable if you don't have a playroom.

hullygully · 26/05/2008 21:09

Chop up his possessions and shove them up his selfish childish playstation playing arse one at a sharp time. IMHO.

Uriel · 26/05/2008 21:09

Actually, if you have the room, I think it's ok to have one room as more of a kids' space and one as an adults' space. Handy in the evening when you can just shut the door on the kids's mess!

Your kids are very young and your dh needs to realise that there will be mess and damage too, it's the way of the world. But they grow up and it doesn't last forever!

foxythesnowfox · 26/05/2008 21:13

I think its a good solution actually! I don't want to shut my kids away in one room with their stuff, but I'd love to shut myself away of an evening and not be surrounded by tat!

Can you make it a proper sitting room for you and DH in the evening? Let the kids have the rest of the house. It could be your grown-up den?

cmotdibbler · 26/05/2008 21:13

He's being a wanker. Honestly - I bet you'd like to slope off to your own room with nice stuff in and no children in it, but thats obv not going to happen.

Tell him its not on.

stitch · 26/05/2008 21:14

you r dh is being a twunt.
tell him to get himself a tetn, and go live in that

WilfSell · 26/05/2008 21:18

He is being a twunt. Unless you have a massive house (and you don't) it's not practical. Could you have a TV and playstation etc in your bedroom or could he work in there?

He sounds a touch controlling TBH...

luckylady74 · 26/05/2008 21:26

There have been threads on the special needs boards where parents of asd children compared the state of their houses - every single one of them could list things in need of repair/dented/scratched and so on.
My ds1 only has as, but I did wonder at some points if other people had to dig poo out of places/ lock everything/ never let their dc in another room without them!
I have a front room that is only for tv watching and toys go in bedrooms/conservatory. I had 3 under 3 at one point and the only thing that helped was always chucking things out - every single charity bag that comes through the door gets filled! No ornaments, all tv/dvd in locked cabinet - just think minamilism on a budget(ikea) and that is my house!

Your dh sounds like he hasn't thought this through - you need a really good think about what all the rooms are used for -could he work in a different room for example? Keeping a close eye is not possible whilst tidying - I too think some time alone with the dc would help him see more clearly!

lucyellensmum · 26/05/2008 21:39

Tell him to grow the fuck up!!! The only grown men i have ever known to have play stations have been nobfucks! Sorry, but where the hell does he get off??? HIS stuff?? So tell me, do you get a room for yours then?? Tell him to help out a bit more instead of playing the fecking computor games and then things might be easier for the pair of you - i dont usually go in for man bashing as i try and see both sides but really!!

You should see our house - ONE dd aged 2.8, she has drawn on every wall, there is her stuff EVERYWHERE and i mean everywhere. The state of your house has no reflection on your parenting whatsoever - actually, thats not entirely true - if i were to enter a house with children in it, that had no evidence of this in the form of toys and stuff, i would be actually quite sorry for the children.

nkf · 26/05/2008 22:48

Oh, he's got a playstation has he? So he can play games? What a baby.

Othersideofthechannel · 27/05/2008 06:06

Who'd have thought a thread in Good Housekeeping could get so heated!

The comments about playstations/consoles are a bit OTT aren't they? I don't think there is anything wrong with a grown man or woman enjoying computer games as long as it isn't excessive. It doesn't mean they are automatically the sort of parent that doesn't enjoy spending time with their children and shirks their responsabilities.

OPs posts are a bit young but in a few years it is an interest their father will be able to share with them.

Also, I agree that an 'ideal home' with toys all stored in matching boxes makes me feel sorry for the children. But it doesn't mean that scribbles on every wall should be seen as inevitable/acceptable.

sakurarose39 · 27/05/2008 06:22

So your DH will have the room where he works, and the "playroom" (that's two whole rooms) as HIS... while you are slumming it with two DCs and their mess in the living room?? I suppose YOUR room is the kitchen [hmmm] Why can't he have his Playstation and hi-fi in the room he works in? The DCs can have all their stuff in the PLAYroom (get a big basket and go round in the evening picking up all their toys and close it away out of sight in the playroom after they have gone to bed)and you can have a nice living room for the evening. That is the only time our living room was/is vaguely neat - for a couple of hours after the DCs have gone to bed and before our bedtime.

lizziemun · 27/05/2008 07:06

Oh good, you have more time to keep the living room tidy as now you have 2 rooms less to clean .

aGalChangedHerName · 27/05/2008 07:10

I had a sunroom built to use as a playroom and my living room is still damaged to a degree. It's life isn't it??

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