Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

Flip

Original poster

How to get ANYTHING done with 8 month old in house!

24 replies

Pendulum · 21/05/2008 10:24

My house is a tip. I am probably not houseproud enough to be posting in this topic but I do need a certain standard of order to make me feel sane.

DD is nearly 8 months old and seems to have turned into some kind of attention black hole. I am finding it impossible to get anything done in the house. I had visions of a baby playing happily on a mat in the kitchen while I clean around her, but after two minutes she cries to be picked up. As for leaving her in a different room while unloading dishwasher etc, that is guaranteed to bring on a fit. And though she does sleep for about 2 x 1 hour a day, I have to fit everything into that (cooking, paperwork, having a shower! etc) She's most happy when I am walking her around in the pushchair or out visiting, but while I'm doing that I'm not cleaning the house.

Does anyone have any tips, or reassurance that this is a 'stage'? At the end of every day I feel like a long list of undone and unfinished tasks and it's beginning to make me feel really frustrated.

OP posts:

learningallthetime · 21/05/2008 10:33

My DD is nearly 7 months and I had exactly the same problem. If she wasn't in my arms, she was crying!
My DH was coming home from to a tip of a house, he really did think I was using my maternity leave to sit around and do nothing all day. he couldn't understand I wanted to clear up and sort the house out but couldn't due to the screaming!
It's impossible to explain the frustration of wanting to sort things out and not being able to, you really do feel trapped!
At the weekend I brought a walker and a door bouncer for her. So far she seems happy in both and its given me a little bit more freedom. Maybe something like that would help you.

Shells · 21/05/2008 10:36

I always have this problem (have 3 DCs now) and various folk have recommended a sling or back pack to carry them around in while you do the chores. I think this works really well for some, but I have a bad back so not for me... therefore house is a tip and I permanently feel frustrated.

MummyDoIt · 21/05/2008 10:36

I found a door bouncer very useful. We'd never have had a hot meal if I hadn't got one. Both my DSs would bounce happily for half an hour.

Is it worth prioritising and dedicating 15 minutes to the most important jobs and just letting DD cry for those 15 minutes? Sounds harsh, I know, but she really won't come to any harm and you'd feel better if you'd achieved something, however small.

Oliveoil · 21/05/2008 10:40

do you have a high chair? I used to put dd1 and dd2 in there, chop up a banana, few raisins, breadsticks, rice cakes etc etc

put them on the tray then run round like a mad woman doing what jobs need doing

sing to them, dance about, distract them whilst you get stuff done

I used to get 30 mins some days with them sat there trying to pick raisins up from the tray

or I got a big blanket and put it on the kitchen floor with a selection of toys, things that bang/rattle, things that you can stack etc etc

then you are still there with them but they are distracted for 10 mins

StealthPolarBear · 21/05/2008 10:44

agree with learningallthetime about frustration. DH used to come home and say "I'll do the hoovering / stack the dishwasjer /whatever" I used to want to scream "No, I've been looking at it all day please hold the baby and allow me the satisfaction of doing it!"
Also used to plan trips out in the car for non-nap times (as much as possible) as I would feel cheated out of my baby free time if I was driving.
It does get better - at 1yo DS will self entertain for about 20 mins or half an hour, unless he's ill or tired. My problem is now that I can't hoover as he hates the hoover and screams like someone is sticking pins in him, and can't mop because he seems to think it's a game and enjoys coming to have a slide around on the damp floor!

learningallthetime · 21/05/2008 10:54

StealthPolarBear, LOL at 'baby free time'

I know exactly what you mean.

I find it hard not to feel guilty for thinking like that though!

sherby · 21/05/2008 10:57

DS is at this stage at the moment and it is so frustrating.

I try the highchair thing, pots and pans on the floor, paper to rip and crumple up but it is still impossible to get more than 10 mins

It is a very hard stage

Oliveoil · 21/05/2008 10:58

I used to say "oh, I will do the dishes [big sigh]" like it was a chore when really I was thinking "thank fcuk for that, peace"

StealthPolarBear · 21/05/2008 10:58

to me it means time where you're not either holding them or watching/wondering what mischief they're getting up to! It's so difficult to imagine before you have a baby how 'looking after' it can take all day and leave you with no time.
Anyway, saying that I have been on MN for about 3 hours so far this morning

StealthPolarBear · 21/05/2008 10:59

Aaargh

"No, I've been looking at it all day please hold the baby and allow me the satisfaction of doing it!"

When I said that the "looking at it" didn't refer to the baby, it referred to the mess! Just realised how callous that sounded!

gem1981 · 21/05/2008 11:04

when ds was that age I used to all I could during the day when he was napping and then the rest at night when my husband came home and bathed him.

this meant that I could get the house in order while they were both upstaris out of the way

Original poster

Pendulum · 21/05/2008 11:12

Great to see it's not just me

I am constantly being told (usually by women my mother's age with their rose tinted glasses firmly in place) "oh leave the housework dear, just enjoy the baby, they are young for such a short time etc etc etc..."

well yes BUT it is also fairly imperative that I at least clear a pathway through the carpet of clothes on the bedroom floor and discover what rotting thing is making the fridge smell so bad!

Shells- I have back problems too, I used a sling for 3 months but after that she was too heavy.

MummyDoIt- DD doesn't really 'get' the door bouncder, just hangs limply in it as if being punished then gets all tangled up and traumatised when I try to get her out!

Oliveoil, I reckon the high chair is a good idea, DD not quite at raisin and breadstick stage yet but maybe in a month or so that will be helpful.

Stealth- I knew what you meant by the 'it'!!

OP posts:

learningallthetime · 21/05/2008 11:14

I knew what you meant Stealthpolarbear.

I feel the same. I feel like, please let me do something else other than hold the baby today!

My DH comes home and some days it feels like I'm practically throwing DD at him, he hasn't even got his coat off and i'm like "go see Daddy!"

Oliveoil · 21/05/2008 11:16

yoghurt also good for smearing over tray/hair/face

mine wouldn't be left alone so I had to bring them in every room

if I was changing sheets, I would give them an empty pillow case with a ball in, they would sit on the floor and try and get it out. Quite cute to see the frown of concentration

it was BLISS at weekends when I could run away upstaris and do a job in 10 mins instead of an hour

Original poster

Pendulum · 21/05/2008 11:16

gem, evening housework requires a dedication and stamina that I do not possess.

by the time DH is bathing the girls I am cooking the meal. after that I am usually busy MNing or doing some other braindead relaxing activity. A 12 hour day is long enough in my book!

OP posts:

purpleflower · 21/05/2008 11:22

This is when DS got his half hour of cbeebies strapped in his pushchair . It gave me time to shower and clean the bathroom. Then it was highchair to attempt the kitchen.

It's better now DS is 19 months and will entertain himself quite well. Although I keep finding myself on here rather than cleaning.

StealthPolarBear · 21/05/2008 11:35

good, glad I didn't sound callous!
"Leave the housework" - well the intention is good, but I don't like using a dirty toilet any more when I have a new baby than normal. Preparing food in an unhygieinic kitchen doesn't somehow become OK just because my baby's under a year old.

ColumboEtc · 22/05/2008 10:11

Also, "leave the housework" is assuming a certain level of prior organisation and cleanliness. My MIL is always saying that before her visits, "don't tidy up for me, I don't mind the mess" but I always do and she thinks that is the house in its not tidied state . Or my mum, she always says don't bother cleaning up, we're family, and last time I didn't bother and she spent the entire visit asking me if I was Ok because everything seemed so disorganised

Anyway I have had the same problem as you, every day feel like my job is to tackle housework but DS happily leaving a trail of destruction in his wake or wailing if he is put in the playpen.

At 8 months, the walker or doorbouncer good ideas. I think walker worked best for us.

talilac · 22/05/2008 11:33

I have absolutely been where you are. In fact, its reminding me that DD2 will be at that stage soon and gawd knows how anything will get done with two of them wanting attention.

Lots of good advice here, esp door bouncers, activity centres, rugs with toys, highchair with food etc.. Anything to get 15 minutes. You can do a lot in 15minutes (do you know about the FlyLady?)

Also see if you can get them interested in what you are doing - ie, sit DD in the middle of the washing pile and she can play with the laundry as you fold it, etc.

Learning how to do most basic chores one handed is good too!

learningallthetime · 22/05/2008 16:35

Who is the FLYLADY?

talilac · 23/05/2008 14:32

the flylady - go online and look at "how to get started" and "beginners baby steps"

Its not for everyone but I find it very helpful, as do a fair few people on here..

EyeballsintheSky · 24/05/2008 15:55

So it's not going to get any better then? DD is only 4 months and I haven't been able to get anything done since the day she came home from the hospital! It drives me crazy as I hate feeling like I've achieved nothing all day and the house is a tip.

foxythesnowfox · 24/05/2008 16:01

Actvity centres are great. I got mine for 99p from ebay. Not with wheels so you don't have to chase/rescue.

Chandon · 24/05/2008 19:04

1.) Play pen with "special" toys (only to be played with in playpen
2.) play pen in front of window (so she can look at traffic, passrs by etc.)
3.) (desperate, allowed though) playpen or highchair in front of TV
4.) highchair in kitchen with hard but tasty snack (so it takes some chewing and time to eat)

no feeding in playpen if you´re not around due to choking hazzrd, obviously.

I had no play pen for DS 1 (was brainwashed to think it woudl eb cruel), but was wiser by the time DS2 came around, and it worked a treat, for about 20 minutes-30 mins at a time.

Flip