20 weeks pregnant and struggling

[PollyD123]

So as the title suggests I am 20 weeks pregnant.. I suffer with ocd and things never feeling clean. I live in an old house and no matter how much I clean it it never feels clean. I’m also trying to decorate and make things feel better before the baby arrives but it’s just all getting too much. I know the health of myself and the baby is more important than a few cracks in the walls but I just look at my house and think I just don’t want to bring a baby back here. My partner is currently deployed so he is unable to help although he did do what he could before he went away. I don’t really have another support system that is able to help me and I feel like I’m mentally ready to give up. I know I need to rest and I have set myself one task to do a day but I’m finding that even challenging. I know I probably need to talk to a health professional about this but even then I don’t think it’s going to stop my order of wanting everything clean and it not feeling like it. Has anyone else been through this?

Is it your own house or a military house OP? (assuming you’re a military spouse)

Hello ! I hope it's going to get better for you ; pregnancy made everything seem worse than it really was for me to and as soon as the baby was born I felt better about everything. Having said that, I still get really down about my house too. it's old and and we don't have any money to make improvements at the moment , and like you I never feel some areas are clean. Sometimes however , I really don't care at all - especially when others visit and they either they comment on positive things about the house , or I can see they don't even take in the state of the house as they're there to see me and the kids.

And the times I really do care ( usually when I'm sleep deprived ) , I get out of the house for as long as it takes - and by the time I'm back with two kids I'm so grateful to be home that I don't mind the imperfections xxx

It’s my own house. I am indeed

Thank you for your reply, I’m hoping when baby is here I won’t care as much but at the moment it’s just really getting to me, more the fact I don’t have the get up and go to actually sort the stuff out. Instead of spending money on home improvements I just want to spend it on everything the baby needs but then feel bad that I’m bringing her back to a house that isn’t perfect, sounds silly I know xxx

No it doesn't sound silly at all . I know exactly what you mean especially about not having get up and go - I feel like that often and blame myself. I don't know what the answer is but you sound like you're going to be a great mum because you care so much 💕 xx I