Any professional declutterers around? I have a question!

[CherryogDog]

I'm on yet another round of decluttering, and really hoping it's the last time!
As Marie Kondo said, holding on to things is either a fear of letting go of the past or a fear of the future.
I probably have both!
It's the only area of my life that I struggle with being organised and tidy.

So my question is, how do you and the client manage the emotional side?

For me it's clothes that are my sticking point, not so much objects.
I think that someone holding up my clothes and me having to say keep or bin would probably have me running for the hills!

Thanks to anyone taking the time to read and answer!

My sister is a clothes hoarder. She learned to let go by first of all putting all her clothes on hangers. When she wore something, after it was washed it would go back to the right side of the wardrobe. If she tried something on but didn't wear it, it would go back in the same place she took it from.
After a year, she could see which clothes she wore regularly and which she never wore. Those were the ones she felt ok sending to the charity shop.
I do things differently. If I buy an item of clothing it’s only to replace one I already have and no longer wear. That old item goes in the charity bag that lives in the boot of my car. As soon as the bags full I take it to the charity shop.

So keep them, just maybe reorganise how they're stored so you've more room.

I maybe should have worded my post a bit better.
I'm just trying to understand the method used by professional declutterers, I struggle with the emotional side which I think would be the case for a lot of people, so how does someone else going through your stuff make it easier?

Very long story short I grew up in a large but very poor family, the few clothes I had were mostly my brothers hand me downs, and as soon as I was earning I started clothes hoarding. A lot of other factors that I won't bore you with, but certainly it all explains why it's an emotional issue for me.

I've had an initial purge this year, 6 bags worth, that was relatively easy, started a second go through my clothes which is not as easy.

Anyway, again thanks for reading especially if my question gets answered!

I too am a bit of a hoarder. With clothes, I will get out all of one item, say all my pairs of jeans, and try them on one by one. All the ones that fit go into one pile, and all the ones that don't go in a black sack. Then I look at the ones that fit, and see which pair I want to keep the most. Then the next, and so on until I have about 5 pairs, which is enough for anyone. The rest go in the black bin bag with the others. I then take it out to the car and put it in the boot. Another thing I'm terrible for is black long-sleeved t-shirts. I have loads, and the only way to thin them out is to do similar, jettisoning the ones that have faded or gone a bit misshapen. I couldn't possibly go through all my clothes in one go.

Well I imagine that if a person is hiring a professional declutterer to help them thin the clothes, they're at the point emotionally where they want to change and let stuff go, they just want someone else to give them physical help and mental 'permission' to do it.

If it helps, I give you permission to get rid of any clothes that don't fit, are too worn, you don't like it any other reason. I absolutely give you permission to only own clothes that you actively want to wear.

It’s just so hard to let clothes go, I have no trouble with other items!

My problem is OH and his clothes. He just won't let go of them. They're two sizes too small, have been for years. He's three drawers full of teeshirts the rest I just plonk on top of the dressing table.

I too need a clear out of clothes to be fair. But have made a start.

I have a strict regime of one on one out.
But then I am not really a pretty clothes person and I wear uniform to work. Which helps enormously.

I'm not a professional declutterer but I am a counsellor so have strategies for helping people let go of unhelpful emotions.

Firstly I'd advise you to have awareness of what the item represents to you. Understand what memory is behind your attachment to the item.

It might be helpful to know you can still have the memory without the physical item.

I'd also suggest looking at the positives of letting go of the item, both physical eg more space, money if selling on vinted, and also emotional eg permission to stop carrying the mental load associated with the item.

Having a different perspective on possessions can help as well, such as shifting to a more flexible view, eg the item served it's purpose at the time, I don't need to hold onto this forever, I got used out of it (even if bnwt, the joy experienced when shopping or being gifted the item).

It's also really good to challenge your thoughts on what it means to let go eg if you're thought is "i can't let go because I'll never find something like this again (even if it doesn't fit right)"
Ask yourself a few questions like

• is this even true? What is my evidence for this?
• so what if it is true? What then?
• can I stop believing this?
• will I stop believing this?

@Obvnotthegolden thanks for posting, it's very helpful.
None of the usual systems work for me, the closest I've got is things I haven't worn in a very long time went.
One in, one out definitely doesn't work, it's probably the biggest reason I've got in this mess.
I've got a very small file of paperwork, I've just had a ruthless clear out. But I did go and fish out the estate agents brochure from selling my last house.

I have already had a huge clear out of my clothes.
Some regret at not taking the time to sell.
I have a box of clothes that I've "outgrown" recently, which might end up in the charity bag.
The only item of clothing that I have any emotional attachment to is a pair of non stretch jeans, size 8, from Lidl of all places. Before I lost weight I had them in a size 16, as I started going down sizes I was lucky enough to find them in 14/12/10 and finally 8 on ebay.
I've got a picture of me wearing them and they're loose on me. Now I can't get them over my thighs but they're like a trophy to me. And maybe one say I'll wear them again, never say never!

I don't have much attachment to objects, a few ornaments that I love, either gifted or inherited.
If it's not functional it goes. I had my mum's cast iron pans, which were mum's before, but when I got arthritis I got rid.

I have a huge box of family photos, dating from the late 1800s, other than a couple of my mum and dad I don't want to keep them but it seems a shame to bin them.

But it's only recently that I've realised how fucked up my childhood was in so many ways, and memories are bubbling up that, rightly or wrongly, I'd rather suppress.
I fell out with a really good friend 5 years ago, we haven't spoken since.
I'd had a bereavement, and my coping mechanism is to almost pretend it hadn't happened, so that I can function and do what I need to do. But she couldn't accept that, kept wanting me to talk about it. Every time said "I'll call you later", (after work, home stuff) it wasn't good enough, she wanted it then. So eg 11am, on her tea break, and couldn't understand why I'd have a problem being an emotional wreck for my next client.
Anyway, that's a long winded example of how I deal with my emotions, which was why I was wondering how the professional declutterers work.

I am a professional organiser. Something that I couldn't find in your post was your "why" re sorting your wardrobe. I think it's helpful to have a goal that you are working towards. For many people it's that they want to have a wardrobe which functions better, e.g. clothes aren't crammed together and they can find things more easily so getting dressed in the morning is less stressful. With this sort of goal in mind it's quite easy to see that your wardrobe should only contain clothes that you actually wear for your life now - not ones you used to wear but no longer like or clothes that you may fit into one day etc.. Then I recommend that you listen to episodes 22 and 23 of the Declutter Hub podcast which covers the emotions of decluttering clothes and then a method for doing it which is excellent and essentially how I approach decluttering clothes with my clients (with thanks to Lesley and Ingrid!)

I've been very ruthless with photos recently and culled everything that doesn't mean a lot to me. Obviously I kept everything of my own children but long dead ancestors, landscapes, repeats, poor photos, people I barely remember or don't like. My criterion was 'will this photo make sense to my children when I'm gone?'

@readytoretire the why is, less clothes, better organisation, bit of a Swedish Death clean theme.
The general house declutter to help me keep on top of cleaning.
I have had a pretty major clear out of my clothes and now I'm wearing items and if they're not comfy or practical for any reason they're out.
Thanks for the recommendation of the podcasts!
@Dogaredabomb that's a good criteria.
I'm aiming to keep a few photos that I'd frame and keep out. There's no point keeping loads boxed up never seeing the light of day.