Can anyone help me with a cleaning routine?

[StartingAgainFGS]

Recently separated, remaining for now in family home with 2 DC.
I'm trying and failing to get on top of everything!
When DH left initially I went back to using the Organised mum app. Stuck to it for about a month, then felt I was running myself into the ground sticking to it! Pulling sofas out at 10pm and hoovering behind them because it was the day to do so! Looking back i was a bit manic.
Then I felt I should be kinder to myself and was leaving it and going to bed instead! But of course the house is a mess.
I'd like to try to strike a balance, doing a little bit every day and getting to the bigger jobs every now and then.

I work FT m-f quite long hours. Work out of the home.
2 kids will help when asked and know to stack dishwasher, hang up wet washing etc.
Also have a dog which causes mess and eats into time as well.

Is there an app / routine/ system that anyone would recommend?

I do 2 x washings daily, get groceries delivered.

Money is tight!

Any advice gratefully received as things are getting mucky (and yes my standards are already quite low!)

2 loads of laundry a day for 3 people sounds like a lot, even with bedding, towels and anything like sports kit. Are you really needing to do all that washing?
If you work fulltime I think the best you can do is keep on top of things during the week and do a proper clean at weekend. By "keep on top of things" i mean things like load the dishwasher or wash up after every meal, wipe the kitchen worktops and hob down after you've cooked, put the bins / recycling out when needed, rinse the toothpaste out of the sink, throw some bleach round the toilet bowl every few days etc.

Thank you! The weekend clean is so depressing though, I liked the premise of the Organised mum that you could get to the weekend and have some free time!
I don't know that it's aimed at people working FT mind you.

Washing seems never ending! School uniforms, work clothes, sports kit, work clothes for eldest dc for their pt job as well. Then yes bedding, towels etc,and occasionally dog stuff too.

Then there's all the crap my ex used to pick up...not that it was much tbh but car washing, grass cutting, low level maintenance etc.

How old are the children?

When you say money is tight is it too tight to afford a cleaner perhaps every other week for a few hours?

I have a cleaner comes for 2 hours every week (costs around £35 a week) and it's been life changing - I've gone without other things to keep him. He vacuums the whole house, gives the kitchen and the bathroom a good go over and there's a rolling list of things that don't get done every week but maybe once a month/every other week as time allows. It just makes everything else more manageable. The house isn't immaculate as 2 hours just covers shifting he basic weekly grot but it's 2 hours of cleaning done efficiently by someone other than me and it's worth every penny.

Everything else I set reminders on my phone/ Alexa for so e.g. for changing bedding, cleaning the fridge out the night before bin day etc as otherwise I forget.

The kids have a bribe every week to do their chores- if they aren't done they don't get the bribe.

If the kids are old enough to have a part time job they are definitely old enough to cut grass and wash cars!!

Although washing my car is something I do not prioritise at all. Nothing bad will happen if the car is a bit dusty!

Time to delegate a bit more.

OMG I don't even consider car washing part of the regular routine, that gets stuck through the car wash when it reaches the point that I can hardly see through the windows and mirrors 😃
I quite like doing my housework on Friday evening, it motivates me to get it done after work then it frees up the weekend for fun stuff.

Ha ha yes car washing is more of a 6 monthly task, I just really put it in there as an example of something "additional" on my to do list!
Kids are good at helping, but it's on a when asked basis so I will give them set chores.
I do sometimes do the Friday evening blitz, but sometimes I'm exhausted from work and sometimes (even rarer!) I might be out
Cleaner beyond me at the moment unfortunately but I wouldn't rule it out if things ever got a bit better!

I like the app Tody, it's a bit like organized mum in that it assigns tasks on a daily, weekly, monthly, annual basis but you can just leave things and it rolls them over to the next day so there's less pressure to feel you have to do things on the designated day and you can still keep track. It has pre-set frequencies for how often it thinks you should do things but you can adjust them if you find it's too often or too little. Includes car related, garden tasks and it has a general category where you can add your own tasks which I use to remind me to book things like dental appointments, haircuts, renew insurances that don't auto renew etc. I always have a backlog on there but it's reasonably gentle and inoffensive about it...

Your could try the TOMM guided cleans, they are chatty and motivating.
You will find your rhythm though, and the energy that is freed up by not being in a shit marriage is fairly substantial.

Not a magic solution but do a 10 min tidy with the kids at a set point every day. Tidy stray items away in main living area. If you're done before the time is up, someone can sweep the kitchen floor, give a sink or loo a wipe, or kids can put away stuff in their bedrooms. It takes half the time to clean an already tidy house. If 10 mins is too hard, still set the timer and do 5 mins, or 2 mins. We find straight after dinner a good time.

People go either way on this but I favour holding off on the washing and batching it. You have to hold your nerve - if you crack somehow it mushrooms again, but every day you don't do laundry frees up that time to do something else. In my head all the main (clothes) washing happens on Tues/Weds, and anything else like towels, bedding, pet blankets are ad hoc. But most days we do no laundry.

If eldest is old enough to have a job it's time to get them more involved with the laundry. Mine does all their own darks (I still do whites) on their own schedule, which is about once every 10-14 days when they run out of pants. It might make more sense in your house for them to put a family wash on at the end of a school week or after a work shift. My children (who have exec function issues) find it much easier to manage the whole washing cycle of their own clothes than to chip in and help with everyone's. They only have to learn the "rules" of what tumbles etc for 1/4 of the items that way.

Shower is wiped down after every use...squeegee kept in the shower, cloth also kept in the bathroom, shove on radiator to dry.
I do spray with shower spray once done to keep it clean.
Sinks wiped down after use...again spray/cloth left...

Heavy traffic floors a quick daily vacuum/sweep makes everything look better.

Kitchen after dinner clean up, with radio on quietly in the back ground...just me as I quite like the peace and quiet.

Bedrooms... Kids change their bedding/keep rooms tidy.

One of those pledge/flash fluffy dusters are a God send for a quick flick over.

Pretty strict on things being put away instead of 'doing it later'...

Little and often....then when such times I feel a burst of energy I'll have a deeper clean..

Does anyone remember the fly lady threads from years ago?

Thank you for all the ideas!

@2025willbemytime I still like to tie my laces and clean my sink😂

@2025willbemytime I'm sure there's one still going, or was until recently.

I've always struggled with Flylady. I like the home blessing hour, but the rest looks like full time job to me!

When I worked full time, exDH and I would do a clean Saturday morning, put silly music on and do each room. That might be a good thing to get your DC doing to ease the burden?

Other than that I'm looking for tips myself. We actively encourage DD to help us clean and tidy (she enjoys a polish!) But it's hard work to do the big jobs like bathroom and bedrooms! I try and do a bit every day.

i tend to my large garden on good weather days and keep the house cleaning for when it’s raining or before visitors come.

i have a plan that suits me.
i’ll put the wash on when necessary at 5am (delay timer on washing machine) that way i have to hang it out as soon as i’m up.

ill do ironing on a dull day when homes under the hammer is on as i like that program so i’ll watch it at the same time.

i’ll hoover the main rooms on rainy days, change bed sheets when i feel they need it, and wash the kitchen floor and bathroom sink and loo on sunday evenings. fridge gets sorted friday nights after the big shop.

it’s a routine that suits my way of living.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/housekeeping/5306703-april-flying-with-the-fledglings-were-no-fools?page=1

The Flylady thread is still going, you're welcome to join us! The website is going through some updating at the moment so the daily missions aren't updating (same with the app). Just start with the baby steps 😇

I like this book and her routines and obviously you can extend it so it’s longer than 30 days - she explains how . I’m not naturally tidy but this has helped. https://www.amazon.co.uk/30-Days-Clean-Organized-House/dp/1508564965/ref=asc_df_1508564965?mcid=2e86d95147cc3ecf95fca4f0c0f545df&th=1&psc=1&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=696450770381&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5715884247730241985&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006672&hvtargid=pla-593666843754&psc=1&gad_source=1

@BloomingHazel thank you! I couldn't keep up with flylady before, but now might be the time!

@lifeisgoodrightnow that has given me a laugh- clicked on the link and thought oh this looks good...then saw that I have already purchased it, many years ago! Good intentions!

@Cuppa2sugars that sounds lovely and steady paced, also sounds like maybe you have more downtime than me?

@lifeisgoodrightnow I bought that book 2018! No idea where it is now, I'll have a look in the pile of books I never read 😉

Found the book with several other housekeeping books I collected over the years . I have now decluttered that shelf, stuff to recycle books to charity

The Organised Mum is great but the full plan is quite a lot at 45 minutes per day when you are full time. As Gem says, you can only do your best with the time and energy you have! Yes, I do love Tomm!!
I struggle too but I mostly do this. You have said you don't want too much to do at weekends. I do tend to do a house reset at weekend as I get too tired after work day.

Daily (Level one equivalent)

• Five minute tidy (DC to help pull their weight)
• One basin and loo clean
• Squeegee shower after used it, spray with shower spray
• Clean down kitchen each night (washing uo, dishwahser, clean worktops, quick sweep of floors)
• 5 mins something laundry related (e.g. Out load on, hang up to dry, good and put away. Family of three we do about 5 loads per week)

Then
I either do the guided clean lite sessions (15 minutes l2 clean as opposed to 30) on their allocated day. Or an upstairs clean one week, downstairs clean the next. Also quite frequent tidying sessions especially on a Friday really help get rid of the overwhelm feeling.

Thank you that's really helpful
I actually tried chat gtp and it gave me a helpful plan too!

Ooh, will try that! 😆

I told it how many rooms, inhabitants, and that I didn't have much free time😂
It seems a decent plan!

I change the beds once a week

Put a wash on every day- peg out when it's dry and tumble when it's not

Clear up the kitchen and stack the dishwasher/ wash up after every meal so the kitchen it's always tidy.

Wipe down the bathroom daily and clean the shower when I'm in it,that way it never gets too grim and overwhelming

Hoover once a week

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor with a spray mop for ease.

Never leave a room without taking cups back to the kitchen .

Oh and I make the bed as it's nice to get into a made bed at night.

House is always visitor ready.

Things like pulling out the sofa- fuck that, I do that rarely, certainly not weekly more like every 2 months. My excuse is it's big and heavy 😂

I do things like the windows/ mirrors when I see smears , I've got better things to do than stick to a mirror cleaning routine.