How do you convince your DH / DP that a tidy home is a happy home?

[superflybaby]

I'm not perfect when it comes to housekeeping, but I feel happier when the house is in order & junk is thrown out.

But I am finding it really difficult staying on top of keeping a tidy home with the following (really annoying) habits my DP has;

Leaving his dirty laundy (mainly work uniform) on the kicthen floor, in front of the washing machine, until there is enough to make a load.

Covering our kitchen table & chairs with his paperwork, rucksac, magazines & boxes of stuff for his beloved car.

Leaving the washing up 'to soak' (forever) in the bowl

Opening his post and leaving the ripped envelopes & junk mail wherever they fall. Sofa, floor, table etc.

Leaving his wardrobe doors open with clothes spewing out over the bedroom.

Clean washing sitting in piles in the bedroom ready to be worn, never being put away.

Storing RUBBISH i.e. SMA tins & empty boxes etc 'just incase they come in useful' in the conservatory & shed.

When he has spare time he waters the garden (which is his baby, it is only 30ft but immaculate). Doing the garden and the car comes before tidying the house. But my problem is not him cleaning the house, I'll do that, but just not letting it get so messy in the first place.

Otherwise, he is a lovely boyfriend & Dad. But he is sending me mad. I work 4 full days per week & I can't keep up with our mess, I go round in circles. I might get the house looking good for a few days then it all goes to pot and I want to scream!

Is there any hope for me? or shall I just resign myself to living with Wayne Slob?

Give him a box ... A big one! for your bedroom, tell him his crap goes in that or else the garden gets weed killer.

Dp has a few of these habits

I've taken to chucking all of his things (all clothes - clean or not, paperwork, shoes) in a corner of our bedroom on his side of the bed

When he wonders where his work trousers are on a Monday morning I point him in the right direction

It's working... funnily enough, dirty clothes are finding a new home in the linen basket

Oh lord all men are the same aren't they?!

Agree, get a box and put all his crap in it. But a pretty box that'll complement your bedroom

Chuck everything of his in it, even if it is clean/dirty washing, shoes, paper, letters, dishes! Whatever's in your way or on the floor - goes in the box!

Don't do anything for him either, make him do his own washing, dishes etc. Go on strike!

LOL cat64

DH sometimes makes a pile of stuff that is lying around and labels it 'othersideofthechannel's crap' and I do the same to him.

We have different definitions of clutter.

Men just don't seem to have the same intolerance to mess that women do. I wouldn't claim to be a tidy person but I find my dh just doesn't notice the mess the same way I do. I tried getting cross and even tried leaving all the dirt and mess until he noticed it but didn't work. in the end I sat him down and explained how much it bothered me. The house is still messy, but we now have a routine of tidying up after the babies are in bed. The unopened post lying around still drives me crazy though.

It's SO annoying isn't it??

I refuse to wash anything that isn't in the laundry basket and he leaves clothes all over the floor and I tend to just kick them in to a corner because I find that easier to look at rather than when they're all over the place. He used to leave cupboard doors open and I was forever closing them but then I stopped and eventually he was irritated by them himself and started closing them. He also used to leave lights on everywhere and blame me - we resolved the toilet one by the fact that the light was on but the loo seat was up - clearly last visited by him not me. He is slowly getting better about not cluttering up the whole table, just part of it - since he's done a few meals for DD and realised that the space is actually needed 3 times a day on a non-negotiable basis. I am currently trying to train him in if you go from one room to another or downstairs, you never go empty handed but take items that live there with you!

When you find out, tell me!

My DP is a total pack rat. He actually goes through the rubbish and retrieves bits of worthless junk that I have thrown out. He drives me mad.