Ashamed of my home. Junk everywhere.

[Junkshophome]

Hello
I need some moral support and kick up the arse. My home is an absolute shit tip with junk everywhere and I'm so ashamed. Toys, clothes, stuff everywhere. Space isn't an issue as just me and one DC at home. Storage could be better but I think generally we have too much stuff. Cleaning isn't an issue but I keep kitchen and bathroom clean and tidy, it's just everywhere else.

Where do I begin please?

And yes I fully accept that I should spend less time doom scrolling and on MN!

NC as I'm so ashamed 😕

From my experience of trying to sell things and it taking ages for hardly any money, I'd say get a black bag and a couple of sturdy bags/boxes and pick a spot and fill them with rubbish and charity shop donations. Then immediately throw the rubbish and put the donations in the boot.

If you do that weekly, thinking about how much you'll appreciate the space, it'll improve.

One room at a time, little bite sized chunks of time if you can’t face spending hours at a time on it. Sort out clothes that don’t fit/won’t be worn again, broken toys or toys with bits missing that aren’t played with. Have a pile for charity shop or clothing bank, a pile of you sell on Vinted, a keep pile and a tip run pile.

Can you take all the dirty clothes to a laundrette that does a service wash and go through what doesn't fit any more and donate, and put the rest away?

Start by decluttering. Watch some iplayer episodes of Stacey Solomon on Sort Your Life Out! It's very inspiring.

Start in one place - maybe with DC clothes. Go through everything and get rid of anything that doesn't fit, they don't like, or is stained/marked. Get binliners - one bag for dumping, one bag for donating. Anything that you are keeping gets put away.

One thing I have found helpful is to think of storage as 'containers' that HAVE to contain your stuff. So you can have a chest of drawers full of clothes AND THAT IS IT. Once the container is full the rest has to go. So pick 15 tops (or whatever fits in a drawer) and the rest need to go to charity/sell on Ebay/dump.

Do you have a friend who could come and sit there while you sort? They don't even have to help, other than to make a cup of tea occasionally. I find it a lot easier to focus and concentrate on just chucking stuff when there is someone else there to talk to.

But then I have ADHD and need something to help me apply myself to what I'm doing.

Make a clear space
Collect similar things together.
Reduce stuff
Improve storage
Stop buying

You can do this with a theme at a time eg books, clothes, toys

YouTube have some great declutter videos for inspiration. Start with those. Make sure you get plenty of good sleep because if I’m tired, I find it impossible to declutter.

Clothes are the worst for this. Well, actually toys are, but I find once clothes get out of hand, laundry is out of hand and then it's all a cycle of doom.

Get all clothes that aren't in their wardrobes or drawers or whatever and get them sorted. Only keep what you actually wear.

And get them away. There should be space in your wardrobes/drawers when you've finished so that your laundry can go away.

Then, it's toys. Etc etc.

You need to be ruthless. Good luck!

Mine is too, @Junkshophome . Too much stuff.
Things that might come in handy or might raise some money, things waiting in bags to go to the charity shop.

My kids hate this but about twice a year I make them sit with me while we go through their wardrobes and drawers and pile up anything that doesn't fit or they are never going to wear again. Anything good enough is taken straight to charity shop. If you can't make their hours take them to the donation bins you get in supermarket car parks etc.

DH and I don't buy a lot of clothing but generally something's got to go if we are getting something.

We used to do it for toys and books but they have less of that kind of thing now.

I find having a lot of stuff overwhelming.

I think there was another thread on this site where people were doing or getting rid of one thing a day.

Declutter. And do it after watching a hoarder video, makes me get rid of so much more stuff. I suggest watching Midwest Magic Cleaning on YouTube, find one of the hoarder vids though as he does different types. The filth and overconsumption makes me far more minimalist in my purchasing habits too. Also check out the Minimalist Mom on YouTube.

I'm the same it's so stressful. I've done what a PP suggested and I'm not selling anything unless it's perfect I'm just putting it all on a freebie group so people can come and collect. I'm going to be ruthless I'm at my wits end

I'd start with your hall/entrance way.
I found that once leaving/arriving home wasn't a battle, it was then easier to move on to the next place to tackle.
It's likely to be a physically small space in comparison to other rooms but a big win in terms of how you feel about your home when it actually feels nice to get back.

You need to see a big change pretty quicky in order to kick start your motivation, so a small space is the way to go IMO.

You need to change habits too. As well as trying to have a net out going of stuff via charity/freecycle I try to have a "touch once" habit where I deal with something right away. It's slow progress it I don't think decluttering or tidying works without changing habits too. It is very, very easy to slip back!

You can find out the best way for you through trial and error. I agree YouTube videos can be very inspiring. I find seeing my house as a series of surfaces to be cleared helps. Also, the question 'if I miss this thing can I buy a new one for less than £10?' really helps get rid of the 'might come in handy' stuff (I've never had to replace anything!) Declutter for a short time each day and put everything you're getting rid of in the car boot/bin then go to the charity shop/tip at least once a week. Also you need to accept this is an ongoing task. It will never be perfect and never be completely finished, just do what you can each day. I saw a Paul McKenna video in which a woman was upset about how her family made their house messy he said would you rather your house be empty of people and clean and tidy or full of your family and messy and it made her realise that she would miss the mess when the kids all left home. That's not to say never declutter but just accept that a bit of chaos isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Agree with this.

If you're in a bad state with far too much stuff, you need to do it slowly not attempt o do it over one weekend or you'll just make the situation worse. Every day, sort one small space eg a drawer.

Be ruthless. Have you used it in the last six months or will you need it for a very specific task or event in the next three months? If not, bin it. One bag for the bin, one bag for anything that it's possible to donate to charity.

Don't try to sell things. You won't, you'll keep putting it off, so you'll be stuck with them

I have ADHD and massively struggled with this when younger. I have now become a bit obsessive about getting rid of stuff and have found in small doses I am brilliant at tackling an area.
The most important thing to do is to decide you're going to do an hour and then bag everything up and take it to the charity shop and tip. There is no chance you're going to get around to selling it so don't bother.
I suggest you have some lunch now and if you're not working go and do it after lunch for one hour put on a podcast or the radio and just do it .
It's quite tiring because you are having to make hundreds of decisions but it's fucking amazing.
The other thing to do is order some really really good boxes from real storage solutions ( or something like that) with decent lids.

My house it's a hundred times nicer now and so much easier to clean.