Did the cleaner do it?

[Saveusernsme]

Hate being in this position. I know, I’m bloody lucky to be able to employ a cleaner but I suspect she’s taking things from us. I have no idea how to move forward? I have no proof and I’m not about to set up a sting because it could be weeks or months before anything goes. So far on the list of missing items there is:

• Money. Kept in bedside drawer. Large notes so not something that’s easy to spend.
• clothing including jeans (which I’ve worn once so had been sat in my wardrobe for months) and a jumper
• Beauty products - about £200 worth including my daughters. Some of it hadn’t been opened.

i think about £600 worth has gone missing over the last nine months but I’ve always blamed myself for misplacing things. Now my daughter’s belongings have gone which is very odd as she’s very careful with them. We’ve been away and so she’s not had any friends over or taken them anywhere.

Any ideas what I can do? I’m tempted to just end our contract but I’ve got to give a reason.

Just end it. There's no way to prove it is her so confrontation won't solve anything.
Just tell her you don't need a cleaner any more effective immediately when she next comes. If you have notice then pay her off rather than have her work it. If you can't face the questions why then say you can't afford it.
Get the key back and/or change the locks.

End the contact - you don't need their services anymore.

Assuming they’re not through an agency I would just end. I don’t think there’s anything to be gained by confronting them and I suppose you could file a police report? But ultimately that’s not going to go anywhere.

i would be tempted to hint about the reason why you’re ending the contract but I don’t know what form that hint could take - too early in the morning !

Reason for ending? You need your privacy - she might read into that…

When I have let cleaners go I just said I’d had a “change in personal circumstances” (which was true)

I've been in this situation and I agree with pp. Just end it and say you don't need a cleaner any more.

You don't want someone in your house you can't trust so sack her now.

Where on earth else would those things be going? I think I might approach the cleaner and ask her if she’s seen them. £600 is a lot of stuff to go missing. Hidden camera?

You can't have someone in the house that you don't trust from your and her point of view. I would say you've realised it's not for you and you feel uncomfortable with having someone in your home you don't know. If it's an agency I think I'd say some items seem to have been misplaced or can't be found since she has been to the home and leave it with them.

It seems fairly unlikely that your wodge of £50 notes has just been misplaced. Or the other bits have been lost and not resurfaced in the last few months. But who else has access to your house? Have you had any workmen in etc?

What makes you think it’s the cleaner? Who else lives/ regularly accesses your house? Statistically it is more likely to be a family member or friend who is stealing from you.

How awkward. In 40 years this has never happened with a cleaner. She has to go but golly she must be stupid if it's her to think you wouldn't catch on.

Just tell her, her services are no longer required and change the locks. If it's her, she can't keep the keys and she may be driven by desperation for some reason.

Ring indoor camera or set a trap where you definitely know you have left something with photo evidence - you need evidence and should go to the police if you have it - this cleaner is going into other people house, some may be more vulnerable and it's completely out of order

Thank you for your responses. We’ve never had this before (moved so new to area).

No one else has access to the house and the kids are too young to be taking my clothing or even £50s. If they did, I’d notice the huge pile of sweet wrappers.

I think ending with a change of circumstances with notice but pay in lieu is the only option.

Of course you need to pay her in lieu of notice and let her go immediately. I imagine that lots of smaller things have gone that you haven't noticed. It could be that she's bringing a child/young person with her while you were away? You definitely need a ring doorbell at the minimum. On the other hand I've just had to replace my sunglasses which cost £££ but no one has been in the house...

We have a ring door bell, no one else has come or gone.

And that’s the issue I’ve been having, have an actually just misplaced these items? When it happens over a drawn out period of time it’s easy to think oh it’s just me, I must have spent the money but forgot or, I must have chucked my new jeans out that I’ve only worn once, or I must have used all my perfume and not realised.

I've name-changed for this because I moaned about it to so many people IRL, but we had this problem too. DD noticed that money appeared to be missing from her piggy bank (she had been given some money a few days beforehand, so had counted it very recently). I initially thought that she'd miscalculated, but counted out the money immediately before and after the cleaner's next visit - sure enough, several more £ had vanished. The cleaner had only been to our house twice, so I think she must have been very bold and had probably done this many times before.

The cleaner was from an agency, so I told them what had happened. They couldn't have been less interested, which didn't fill me with confidence, so I stopped using them.

It's a horrible feeling when you realise that somebody you trusted (particularly in your case when she's been with you for some time), is taking advantage of you in this way.