Decluttering and organising thread 8 – it’s nearly summer

[stealthninjamum]

These threads are accountability threads for mumsnetters who are decluttering and organising our homes.

We’re all at different stages of decluttering from the beginning to the maintenance phase and use different techniques. Join us for support and chat .

We discuss all things to do with decluttering, the things that stop us decluttering, how to get over them, where to dispose of our clutter, how we can encourage our families to join us, and pretty storage solutions which is the fun part.

I’m doing one last big push to get rid of loads of stuff before the long summer holidays when it’ll inevitably turn to chaos again.

Useful tips
Some of us have found the Toss app (on apple) a great place to start with decluttering.

Many of us love Dana K. White (A Slob Comes Clean) on youtube and podcasts.

Many of us at the start just take a timer for 5 or 10 minutes to just make it seem less daunting. I used to start by clearing surfaces.

If you want to make a big impact quickly then increasingly charities will pick up your furniture, books and clothes so you don't even need to leave the house. Or if you have hundreds of books / CDs it's really easy to use the Music Magpie, ziffit or We buy books apps to get them taken away and earn a (very) small amount of money at the same time.

The BBC TV Program Sort Your Life Out is particularly inspiring.

When I do housework I listen to podcasts from a Slob Comes Clean, Clutterbug, the Declutter Hub and The Art of Decluttering. If you think you have ADHD then Clutterbug talks about this a lot as she has ADHD, and Amy from The Art of Decluttering did an ADHD season about 8 or 9 months ago which gave some good tips. My dc have ADHD so it’s something I’m very interested in.

@PissedOffNeighbour22 childhood experiences can scar us so deeply, can't they? Did you have nice things that had to be kept for best, or where you had no control over when you used them?

Can I suggest something? Which is that, if you have smart, work-appropriate clothes and some of them don't sell, you at least think about donating them to a charity like Smart Works, which provides clothing to women who are struggling to get back into work.

The reason I say this is twofold. First, because I think that if you can, "paying it forward" is a very powerful way to move away from your behaviour being governed by your past experiences.

And second, because although you say you can't afford to donate stuff - the money that you spent on these things is gone, and you're never going to recoup more than a fraction of it. So, as far as you can bear to, I think it might help not to punish yourself with the largely unrewarding task of trying to recover that money.

And second, because although you say you can't afford to donate stuff - the money that you spent on these things is gone, and you're never going to recoup more than a fraction of it.

For me this is the issue PissedOff. It might have been hundreds of pounds when you bought it but is it worth hundreds of pounds now? If it's worth eg £1 per item and you've got 50 items and it'll take you 3 weeks to sell it all, what's 3 weeks of your time worth? More than £50 I'll bet. If you're stoney broke and desperately need the money fair enough, but even then could you pick up some extra shifts at work that would earn you the £50 in half the time with none of the hassle? And if you don't need the money but are feeling overwhelmed, how much would you pay to take that feeling away - £50? Because if so, you can donate the clothes and the problem is solved 😁 it's different if you've got things that'll sell for £10-20 an item, then time spent selling is more worth it then and the money lost by donating is greater.

I've got so much better at letting go since I started this decluttering journey. It's true that it gets easier the more you do it. I know it's not an easy or simple process sometimes though especially for anyone with hoarding tendencies.

Donating a dress with annoying straps today. Total is 2792

I decluttered almost a whole room, my daughter’s nursery which had become a dumping ground. 60+ items for the bin/recycling and a small pile for donation or vinted. A little bit more to do and we will be done!

I do agree @IndianSummer78 - this is absolutely right. Although for me, going through the vinted process helps me accept things are for donation!

Neither do I anymore! The various therapy I have had over the years has just about killed off the joy in shopping. Its very sad. No dopamine rush anymore just an inner monologue asking "do you need this? Where will it go? How many do you already have?" 🤣 I found ONE, 1, ONE nice handbag I was going to buy on Amazon for £2 on holiday. My 16 year old made me feel so shit about buying it. I'd have got more joy having my head waxed and walking down Oxford Street in the buff.

I'm going shopping in London at the weekend with my sister so hot to really think about what I desperately need. Got to buy something or I look tight. Sister knows I'm a hoarder.

I could be bought the most beautiful designer bag / dress / coat now and my first thought would be " where the fuck will I ever wear that? Tesco??"

It actually makes me sad thinking about it. Shopping is something to beat myself up over. I used to love shopping.

Still feeling sad about ds at uni. Have more urges to burn all my clothes in the garden like Mariel's wedding. I'm peroxiding mould whilst spilling half a litre on the carpet. Thank god its nasty nylon carpet. I'm feeling angry too. Taking it out on the dust and mould

You are having a tough time @IncessantNameChanger. I am raising a (virtual) glass to you and your persistence and will power.

@IndianSummer78 I usually sell for at least what I paid for an item as I can smell a bargain from a thousand paces 😄. I have a few things ending tonight on eBay and all are selling for more than I paid originally so I'm happy to work through the pile slowly. My job doesn't give extra shifts, I can only gain flexi time so no way of picking up extra money that way.

I give a lot of stuff away on freecycle and to charity already, but hadn't heard of Smart Works @SqueakyDinosaur. Yes, you're right, childhood causes lots of scars if it isn't a good one. I had very little that was nice and I guarded it with my life. If anything got so much as a mark on it I was devastated. Irritates the life out of me that my kids aren't that careful with their own things. I buy them too much to make up for all the things I didn't have.

I buy them too much to make up for all the things I didn't have

That resonates with me. But I've gone too far and damaged their childhood that way instead.

Sold three more things on Vinted so I'm happy about that. No real outs today, just dust and mould.

Feeling sorry for myself but still ploding forwards

Dust and mould are good outs though.

One magazine getting recycled, one conditioner used up. Total is 2794

yeah I often have huge dust/grime outs too it builds up so quickly in children's rooms 😳
another bundle of outgrown children's clothes out on olio yesterday
old bathroom floor out Wednesday new bathroom floor in neutral

Jobs:

1. Hang up framed pictures
2. DS2 paperwork: blue badge started
3. my British passport application - need to get on with this
4. garden generally tidied for end of summer - started
5. loads of scout badges onto blanket - 8 left
6. DS1’s room: ongoing…need to get a simple double frame
7. bring down the wardrobe for my room, sort my clothes
8. IKEA wardrobe for DD; sort her clothes, her wardrobe to my room

Not quite outs yet:
Running leggings to go to a friend - Need to message her to meetup
spare tap left from building works - on FB, bumped up
knackered suitcase to put on FB - posted
old school PE shorts to a friend
DD to return borrowed flute to old school, oops
charity bag (currently 5) GONE ✅
DS1’s double/single bunk bed - due to be collected tomorrow
my long gone mother’s recliner that DS1 was using for gaming 🙄 (need to get downstairs before listing on fb)

Out:
Charity bag and contents (5)
approx 20 hangers
1222+25=1247

I need to crack on with getting spare room ready for brother & SIL visiting. Have done a long overdue job that never made the list (!) of hanging up some blackout liners for the feeble curtains in there, chuffed with getting that done finally.

3 toys to post.

Re the selling conversation, it's interesting to hear everyone's perspectives and what works for them. I do different things at different times - donating everything, trying to sell everything, and everything in between. My current listing phase has helped it sink in just how much I have overbought for my dc. Physically handling every item and having to take the time to list provides a tangible reminder of the quantity and waste.

A couple of bigger “outs” for me this week - a buggy and a baby bouncer. Feeling a bit emotional that my babies are growing up. I don’t want another but not ready to leave that part behind. But no reason to clutter my house for a maybe that’s almost certainly a maybe not. Must stay strong 💪

Along with baby bank and charity drop offs, that’s a round 200 for September and 1302 year to date. Suddenly feel back on track.

Agree with handling the stuff making you realise the waste. I'm going to buy what the kids need exactly when they need it going forward. So for example dd just sleeps in her pants most of the time. I keep thinking " but what if she needed to stay with my sister for a few days or the hospital?" The answer now is "that's incredibly unlikely, I'd deal with it then" so really two pairs is enough to sit about not getting hardly any wear.

It's coming up a week of ds being at uni so now I'm going to focus on making his room lovely for his brother who says he is excited to move into it. Found another bag of clothes under his bed earmarked to hand down. But it will almost certainly all be donated. Its jeans and my youngest ds is too chubby to fit into any jeans.

A slob comes clean container theory is this months focus. All the kids are almost right at the point of everything fits in its container. My clothes, not so much. I'm going to donate my clothes in chunks to make it less painful.

Items for DD to sell on vinted -

Summer top still with tags
Motorcycle boots
Red leather bike jacket
Brown fur-lined leather aviator
jacket.

Two children’s potties
Two bathroom step-stools.

Teen took a top I was never going to wear.

I'm finding that what works for me at the moment is having a basket that is for me to put stuff for charity. For about the last 4-5 weeks, it's been pretty much full every week and then on Sunday (when I can park on single yellows near the shop, as I'm a bit crippled) I take it down and leave it with them.

Large item sold on eBay so some cupboard space freed up. Rag bag taken to skip yesterday. All the post dealt with as it has come in.

Finally starting my count up of things out in the last couple of months:

Large glass sideboard freecycled
3 broken toys to tip
65 clothing items to donation box
Cat fountain sold on Facebook
Kids bike sold on Facebook
Baby changer unit sold on eBay
Tower fan, cooking hood, hoover, large bag of bath toys, audiobooks and oven tray all sent to the tip
Farm gate sold on eBay
Baby blender and accessories set sold
58 dvds, 27 CDs and 9 books traded in
24 bibs, 6 baby Tupperware, 7 weaning items, 12 baby crockery out.
77 items sold on eBay
124 items sold on Vinted

Total for year so far 1665.
Over £1200 made from selling in last 3mths.

DP is useless at letting me know what he gets rid of so huge amounts of junk has been sent to the tip while he's been clearing out the outbuildings, but no count done on that.

@PissedOffNeighbour22 that sounds like an amazing amount of stuff factoring in the haul from your DH’s work in the outbuildings. I love the variety of stuff on your list too “farm gate!” Now I’ve said several times I sometimes come across things I didn’t know we had or I thought had already gone. On this one I’m 100% sure there are no farms gates lurking anywhere 👍🤣

If we are including garden and outbuildings then three skiploads of wooden offcuts, falling down old shed, remnants including foundations of a wrongly sited neglected greenhouse have also left this summer. This was thanks to husband and one of the kids. The garden looks better than it has in the decade or so that we’ve lived here. The garden is husbands domain, he has basically started nearest the house and has worked to the bottom end!

This has been my strategy for years. I have a box at the bottom of the coat cupboard, and when it gets full I go through it. I also have a box on the loft for all the stuff I've listed on Vinted. I feel like I have a system that works, apart of course all the really big stuff and stuff that can be recycled straight away.

I'm eyeing up DHs office today - he is taking dc to see grandparents and I might clear stuff from there while he is out

Right, DH agreed that I can recycle 2 huge boxes we have had for almost two months. We got some new appliances and he firmly believes yu can't return them without the box.

Total for the year is 1451.

Found about another 20 items to either donate or sell. I might just bag it all up and have a think about it. Big part of me just wants to donate it all. I'm quite a long way off being able to close my wardrobe right now so I think some drastic culling is needed before I have the luxury of leisurely listing. Or I list everything for £5 each and donate it all after 7 days? Dilemma really.

bundle of PE shirts out
very slow day here got to be something else.....

Re: selling and donating, for me the reasons are largely environmental. I heard that charity shops bin most of the items they get, particularly if it's off-season, so selling to someone even at a lower price seems like a more sustainable route. Obviously the ultimate best thing is to buy less and better, which is what I'm aspiring to. I make between £30-50 a month now and like to think it pays for my coffees when I go out. I'm not desperate for the money, but it buys me a few daily luxuries. Some of the balance I use for kids things; recently got a big pile of Oxford reading books with my balance.

I sold our old small scooter today so that made a lot of space. I also sent some stuff to SIL and generally tidied up. Out went:

2 montessori toys
Toddler game
Big kids book
Old charger
3 allen keys
Expired bag of nuts
Highlighter
Post-it notes
Pile of kids drawings(counting as one)
2 ragged cat toys
Kids novelty soap
Unidentified plastic toy bit

Total is 1469.