Hi Everyone
How are you all?
I can use my left hand fingers again Though it does feel strange to have them moving after having 3 of them strapped together for so long. My right arm and and wrist are still in plaster and it is too heavy to hold it away from me without getting a lot of pain I will be glad when that arm is moving again.
DS1 is getting lots of help now. The person working with him (his mentor) says he is very mixed up and things just had to come out. It has been going for a very long time and somethings
I was told by the social workers and some of the professionals in the past that he could not be like he was acting and could not pull the wool over their eyes as he was just too young.
Well now I`m being told he could and most likely still is. They are still working with him, even through the holidays so they are not 100% sure yet what is going wrong. But part of it is because he does not have XP2 to use and blame things on any more and he has not found anyone else to blame. Also it was easy for XP1 to use him and get him to believe in ways of getting away with not doing as he should or things he has done/ was doing wrong. XP1 also blamed XP2 aswell so DS1 thought this was the right thing to do. But it is also known that if children like DS1 start to blame others then the child know that they might get found out. He was very good at making up stories that were not true. Also making things happen or seem like they have happened or working out how not to do something he did not want to do without looking like he was. XP1 was also good at making things happen or seem like they had happened. But I was always told he could not do this without being found out and that he was too young and why would XP1 want to do this to his own child. Hmmm XP1 did not care for anyone apart from himself comes to mind!
I have always said "if DS1 put in as much effort in to being good as he did being naughty and under handed then he would be very bright"
It did not help with XP1 wanting to give as all a hard time and trying to get us in trouble. (he was like a school kid) He used DS1 to help him do that. If XP1 did not use him and he told the truth about what DS1 was really like then DS1 would have got more help in the early days and would not be finding life so hard now. If the professionals (School) were better and not so covering up with what they had no ideas about then he might have got the help he really needed 3 or more years ago. Life for all of us would have been much different aswell.
Why is it that there are some who say that the parents know best, an outside parent (step) can see that something is not right yet the professionals I had were wrong and things were not right and going like they said it was. Yet they said they were right and I/we were wrong now put a stop to it!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR They had made everyones life a lot harder and stopped DS1 getting the help he needed so much for being professionals
Anyway.................
I am hoping the weather soon warms up (not going to for the next week or so) then maybe I can do more to help with the house work. We got some help with a cleaner coming in for 1 hour each week. This is the help the social worker got for mum. She can only do 1 hour and we can not ask her to do more and pay for it as she is needed for other families. Mum said she is ok doing the house work but I dont like to see her doing it all and me not at least helping to do some of it. I feel so useless and just an added extra for mum to cope with.
I think I will start with baby steps to get me going again I can be a real mum again then.
I better go as mum will soon be back with DS2 and DD. they have been to the park for a run around. DS1 is home tomorrow for the weekend.
See you all again soon + {{{{{bug hugs for everyone}}}}}
HN xxxxxxxxxxx