could one of you clean types please explain dp to me?

[fryalot]

he says "you just don't understand!!!!" and he's right, I don't bloody well understand, can someone tell me what is going through his head?

the littlies (2 and 3) were playing with some water on their little table. They were pouring it from a jug into a cup and back into the jug.

Some of the water was being spilled - they're toddlers. However, I would (as I always do) clean it up later.

He made them stop and tidy everything up, because of the mess.

We go through this every school holiday (he's a teacher) normally I have everything tidied away by the time he gets home and we kind of muddle through the weekends by going out a lot.

Is it him being unrealistic to expect two toddlers to play completely without any mess or am I really a totally scruffy cow for allowing them to make a bit of mess now and then?

I do understand his 'need' to tidy up but I learned very quickly with DD that it was my behaviour that had to change because making mess and exploring is just a normal part of childhood. So, I think you need to have a rational discussion of expectations. Perhaps his need to tidy is more of a feeling of controling his environment.

He might be a little bit OCD - not in an official way though! my DH goes all weird if kids mix the colours of play dough together!!!

You could ask him how he suggests they could explore water without making a mess? and why it makes him go all wibbly in the first place!

I did ask him how he thinks they can play without making mess. He said that it is my job to make sure that they do

I know what you mean about OCD, but he's a messy bugger himself, he just can't see his mess iykwim. He is very quick to complain about toys or crayons on the floor (whilst the children are colouring in!) but he is absolutely blind to dirty socks and boxer shorts on the bedroom floor!

Am very confused.

I think one solution could be to rationalise it - get a plastic splashmat (or use a shower curtain or a vinyl tablecloth) and let DH (and the dcs) know this is the the Messy Zone.
Mess on the mat is fine and will not be nagged about or tidied up till the game is over so long as it doesn't go elsewhere in the house.

at least it's nearly good enough weather that you can shove them out in the garden...

now that's a good idea I'll give it a try.

I bought them both aquadraws because they don't really make any mess.

He gets irritated by the noise of Thomas and Sleeping Beauty as she dances around.

oooh I couldn't do with kids pouring water

mind you I am a miserable sod

I was once talking on the phone when dd mixed the blue and yellow paint and discovered it made green

I know for a fact that if I had been concentrating on her I would have said "don't mix the paints up it will get all messy"

you have to learn to chill though

but it is v v hard

(and my house is not a Tidy Place)

presumably he teaches older kids???

of course toddlers make mess, for goodness sake, he is being totally unreasonable and unrealistic. and Tidy Up Time is a good learning game too

don't be a doormat or a martyr - tell him gently but firmly that mess will be made and he should get over himself, if he doesn't like it he can go to another room/go and do the ironing/go and tidy the bedroom/go to the pub. it will be cleared up at the end of the day and that normal and reasonable

sneak in and take some photos of his mess, and keep them on standby for when he complains about their mess in the future

do not expect him to be happy with this, there may be some harsh words spoken, but he will get over it eventually and your life will be less stressy!

I heart MissingTheAction. I shall deffo get a pic of his mess.

And am glad you didn't try and soft soap me into thinking he will be ok about it.