Decluttering thread 7 - as the days lengthen we’ll feel more motivated to declutter

[stealthninjamum]

Sorry for the long thread title, I’ve just seen that the old thread has reached 1,000 posts.

For newbies this thread and the old one a day threads are for a group of mumsnetters who are decluttering. We’ll share tips and advice and inevitably the conversation moves on to organisation tips, pretty storage solutions and persuading our families to join in.

We’re all at different stages of decluttering so join us for support and chat.

I don't know where the notion even comes from that DC want their old school work. I've never met anyone who has complained that their parents threw out their school work or textbooks. Most people never even think about it and those that do, it's because they've been presented with a pile of stuff their parents kept for them and which they don't want! Even people who keeps a few childhood items for nostalgia sake they don't keep schoolwork, it's a teddy bear or something. I kept my GCSE certificates in case any employer ever asked to see them but nobody ever has. Same when I was a teenager and some friends had moved out. They'd be moaning to me about parents who were hassling them to come take stuff so they could repurpose the room and saying why don't the parents just throw it out, they don't want the darn stuff, they already took what they wanted when they left. I mean I think they should have thrown out their own stuff not left it for parents to do, but I guess that's the innate selfishness of teenagers for you. I'm sure if they'd have known parents were, in some cases, going to hoard it for 30yrs then give it back to them they'd have thought twice about leaving it in the first place!

Another two catalogues gone this morning. Total is 2034

@IndianSummer78 my parents insist on keeping the four foot tall panda I loved as a toddler... I might want it one day apparently. Its threadbare, losing its stuffing and frankly a bit terrifying. But its still in their attic...

(I'm helping my brother sort the attic this summer. Its going to disappear)

Roots I swear it's just parents putting their own hoarding tendencies onto their DC. Good luck sneaking that panda out to the trash!

@IndianSummer78 I agree. I think there are a few bits that are nice to see - my first English book with stories in is cute and it shows a little about how my mind worked at that time which is funny and insightful, so I've kept that. But do I need my times table books? Tons of 100 number squares? Spelling tests? Song lyrics from choir? Things I've just coloured in?! No, of course not. Can't believe I've kept it so long!!

I expect by the end of going through these boxes I'll have 1 shoebox-sized plastic box of my school work/artwork/projects and that will be plenty for me, and plenty for DD to have a look through to see what I was like around her age (she's that way inclined).

The rest = bin!

Parents keeping boxes of their kids stuff and moaning about it (whilst not looking through it to check what it actually is), or keeping stuff even though they say they don't want it feels really unfair. @PuttingDownRoots bet you're going to feel like a weight has lifted getting rid of that panda!!

I cleared off my desk today. Just the desktop. The drawers will be a whole other problem! I can now see the desk and the fileing pile is significantly smaller.

I also went through the nappy changing table and threw away some empty boxes, manuals for old toys and stuff that I have already given away and random crap that had been left there for convenience.

I wish I had started counting the items out like some of you have - it must be so motivating to see that number climb a little bit higher each day.

I am so interested in the conversation about school work. My parents didn’t save any of mine although I kept my A level coursework (and threw it out about 5 or 6 years ago). I can’t remember if I have a small folder of degree essays or I might have thrown them out at the same time.

I don’t know why I struggle with dc’s schoolwork (although I have probably got rid of half of it). I am wondering if private and state schools are different in that dc’s private primary seemed to put in lots of photos of dc so there would be a photo of them doing a science experiment or maths game or doing some art or pshe might have a family tree and sweet bits on why dc loved their parents, sibling etc. it feels like a real snapshot of their development - better than the red book and yet we keep those.

i have also found it easier to get rid of dd1s stuff, especially in secondary school, because she is bright. I look at dd2s work which isn’t great and know that she worked so hard on it, i feel bad getting rid of it even though she doesn’t want it.

i went back into the garage with dp today and advertised some tools on trash nothing. Predictably the first person who replied was something like ‘can collect at 10am Wednesday’. Normally I’d give them to the first person who asked but I waited and two hours later got a ‘good afternoon, I am interested in xxx, are they still available? I feel so much better at giving things to someone with manners.

Dds bike has sold. We bought it 10 years ago with money from my dad when he died. Its been ridden about half a dozen times. Got £80 for it which is two driving lessons and much more useful to her than a slightly too small bike.

Today I reorganised kitchen cupboards.

105. Out of date food
106. Unwanted spice jars

Re school books... I give them to the children when they come home. I find they want them at first... but within a few months they want the space back in their rooms.

We have moved 3 times since they started school though... and the first them our stuff had been shipped before the books came home from school so we had no choice, they wouldn't fit in our baggage!

Weve been in our own house 3 years now. Thats a year longer than any previous home! I think that's why the clutter has really built up, we are used to the clear outs every 18 months-2 years!!

Difficult it is. I find myself looking around for something I can let go of just so I can push the number higher and see I'm making progress. I'm both horrified and fascinated to see how much stuff I finally will have got rid of by the time I feel I'm at maintenance decluttering stage. You should just start from now if you want to count or make a rough estimate of what you've already ditched and start from there.

Glad you got rid of some garage stuff Stealth and your bike Row.

Roots I also found putting down my own roots made things worse with the clutter. I barely had any furniture before, for one thing.

DD didn’t want to keep a tin pencil case so into the recycling. She has tidied her room, hoorah! Not sure if anything else out as I was at work.

313+1=314

working for 4 days then a few days off when I really want to tackle so,e and areas.

Oh my! The school item declutter is a VERY timely topic. My brother and pulled out a massive box of our old school stuff yesterday. It was all jumbled up (all 3 of us are close in age). Additionally, we found a few smaller boxes with books, CDs, my brother had some boxes with dvds etc in them, and it was all kind of overwhelming. We made piles of what belonged to who, and boxed up my sister's stuff (who's in Toronto) so she can have a look when she next visits.

The thing is, I wasn't planning on doing this on this trip. I need more time to really go through it all. So this was more sbout organising and culling low-hanging fruit, but it was still efficient because there was just so much rubbish like old maths tests and mock exam essays and school book reports etc which could all go. We had 6 boxes when we started and are now down to 4, plus we got rid of piles of books and other layabout stuff like my brothers old game consoles. The massive box is gone. I tried to keep tabs as best I could, and I did count my items, but I slightly lost way of what exact items we got rid of, as we ried to recycle whst we could. I did get rid of a total of 88 items I believe. In it were 19 CDs, 1 binned pair of shoes, and 3 pairs for charity; 6 books: 2 handbags, belt and one dustbag; 2 sets of artists' pencils and one huge sculpture I did in high school; 9 notebooks.
The rest were coursebooks and folders of school work (plus some actual folders)
I also got rid of any photos I could clearly see were duplicates. However, I piled the rest together and will need to tackle those as a separate project.

Tomorrow, I'm going to look through the vacuum bag of clothes and make a decision on rest of the shoes. I'll have my mum look through the storage too to seeing there's any other things she recognises as mine - there's so much stuff there.

So total for the year is 582

Gah sorry for the typos. On top of everything else I think I have a cold brewing!

i went back into the garage with dp today and advertised some tools on trash nothing. Predictably the first person who replied was something like ‘can collect at 10am Wednesday’. Normally I’d give them to the first person who asked but I waited and two hours later got a ‘good afternoon, I am interested in xxx, are they still available? I feel so much better at giving things to someone with manners.

I completely agree. My local buy-nothing group encourages us to let things ‘simmer’ so I will always choose the person who is most polite in their message and I usually make a point of saying ‘I am teaching DC to say please and thank you and X said both so has won the item’.

I’d like to think people read that and remember their manners next time but I am probably deluding myself.

@DifficultBloodyWoman the items have gone now. I am almost tempted to email the rude person to explain that they didn’t get the item because of their rudeness but then I think they’re a grown adult - they should bloody know to say please / thank you so I won’t bother.

i have been doing Lego and I think it’s going to take forever. I can’t remember who else on this thread took about a year to do it but I think it’s going to
take me that long too.

Two more from the bathroom stash gone. Used up a skin toner tonight and a hairdye. Total is 2036

@stealthninjamum I only offer to polite people too but they still don't turn up 😕. I've been trying to give away a brand new boxed kids bike but 5 people haven't shown up so far.

I've started putting my postcode into the listing as on satnav it looks like we're in the middle of nowhere when we're only actually a few mins drive outside it and people usually change their mind when they get the address. The number of people whose first message is 'what's the postcode?' is ridiculous. I don't even reply and would rather take the item to the 'too good to throw' bit at the tip than give to people who can't even be bothered to properly read two lines of text on a screen.

Thinking of you all dealing with old memories and school things. It’s really tricky… I have just been given a load by my folks… I don’t know why I’m keeping things but currently don’t have the bandwidth to deal with them so mostly have gone in a box in the loft eaves for now. I did do the “first quick sift” method mentioned by a PP and pleased I got a few bits out and into a better container.

I love love love the idea of putting things with memories on display in novel ways, so think I will do that.

Also agree - free listings are a pain to get collected! I must admit I often shove things outside and make it first come first served but it’s harder to do that when the weather is so vile!

The other thing to say thank you to pp for is the Dana K White recommendations. I found some of the podcasts too tricky to follow whilst doing other things but I’m enjoying having her videos on in the background and really really like the method!

Does anyone else feel like the house descends into carnage when the kids are on holidays? My dd is so messy. She has got a play date later so I will try to tidy more then.

I'm keeping some of her and her brothers clothes for her upcoming school residential but I don't think she will be allowed to go now after her suspensions.

One of the kids ate my Easter egg too. Grrgh!

I don't think I have any of my school work or uni work, I don't think it ever occurred to me to keep it (fortunately!). I even binned the maroon National Record of Achievement folder which we were all told in 1994 would be with us for life and every employer would want to look at. Reader, they did not.

DD2 blitzed her bed yesterday which has about 39 stuffed toys piled at one end, and threw about half a dozen onto the floor saying she wants to donate them, so I will double check with her when she gets back from my parents on Friday to see if she really wants to get rid of them. DD1 was livid because "we haven't discussed this"!

Yep!! Even on the weekends the kitchen is exhausting from all the meals. Endless cooking, washing up, wiping down, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat!

I hope yours respond well to the tidy up song 🤣 now I'm much more strict with: if you get something new out you need to put the old thing away. It's the only way to keep everything manageable but you have to be a relentless parrot for them to even consider following that instruction!

luckily my cleaner came today because the house was a shithole. It’s mainly the kitchen as I’m preparing more meals than usual but also dc are preparing snacks and leaving crumbs and mess everywhere.

I attempted dd1s wardrobe - for the first time in about a year - because I thought it might have some Lego boxes in it. It doesn’t but I was shocked at her GCSE notes. There were literally piles and piles at the bottom of her wardrobe. I actually can’t wait to get rid of it - apart from the subjects she’s doing for a levels.

so I started in the playroom again and have made another Lego mess. I was allowed to throw away a bird toy, and I found that an old kiddizoom camera doesn’t have photos on so dd2 has allowed me to donate it to charity. I have thrown out a broken lol surprise doll. I have also donated another science kit that I found. It all feels like slow progress but I have said that before and I know it will all eventually go.

My house is also suffering from the school holidays. Even worse as I’ve been at work most of it so far.

I had to lol at the National Record, I never had one but know friends who did.

In a progressive step, I’d loaned 2 wicker baskets to my old care home for Easter. Then I thought about donating them, DH thought I already had, so messaged today and gave them away.

314+2=316

2 more work days then some time off, to tackle some bad areas (realised I had typos last time)

107. Torn motorbike cover
108. Old birthday cards

Can I add a fuckton of dust as well?

I've got DH at home as well as the kids... I think he's messier!! The kids go their grandparents for a few days tomorrow

"Parents keeping boxes of their kids stuff and moaning about it (whilst not looking through it to check what it actually is), or keeping stuff even though they say they don't want it feels really unfair"

My parents have been trying to give me my sisters A level art coursework for years. I visit about 3x a year and its mentioned at least once each time "there's loads of stuff in that cupboard you need to take". Drives me crackers!

Had a good weekend on Vinted, sold 17 things, all but one posted and out. Raked out a stairgate, high chair and changing table from the kids bedroom that are all outgrown and need a new home. Not gone yet . . .

267 out year to date.