Stressed

[Ctirnee]

Is it just me that always seems to be picking up after everyone around the house? I have a partner and a 18 months old, and all I seem to do with my day is chase around everyone, im lucky if I even get a moment to sit down. I do it all, breakfast, dinner, teas, bottles, get up in a morning, bath, bedtimes, playtime ect. However I feel like my partner should help out around the house more, or at least pick up after himself. We half the bills 50/50 but he does support us financially for whatever we need or want afterwards. I also get hes often tierd when he comes in from work but im also tierd being a mum 247. Am I being unreasonable? How do I draw the line and say enough is enough? I just need more help from him. It would make my life a lot easier. Iv tried talking to him multiple times, but that seems to go straight over his head, and back to being messy again in a few days... please help.

I left my ex over this. Other stuff too but this was one of the reasons. Honestly, people don't change. Maybe if they're under 25 and still growing up but after that, no. He had the view that evenings, weekends and annual leave was his downtime, for doing whatever he liked and he didn't like cleaning.

I found out that before we lived together his idea of cleaning was to go round with a binbag once every few months when he was kicking a path through the trash on the floor to get from A to B.

There'd be overflowing ashtrays, flies in the kitchen, hard floors your feet stuck to, food wrappers, beer cans everywhere, bedding that was never changed, washing up piled in/beside the sink until there was no worktop left and you couldn't get to the tap, clothes were never put away just left hanging on every door and the banisters and picture rail etc. This was after I "went on strike" to force him to help. It didn't and he told me this is how he always does things.

I couldn't live like that, I can't relax in a messy environment. I was spending 7hrs a week on house chores (I timed it!), doing the big weekly clean all by myself, doing all the food shopping, all the ironing otherwise the ironing board and his work shirts never got put away, constantly picking up after him. I had no life. I couldn't even come home from work and sit down because he'd have got home before me and thrown his stuff for the day on the chair he wasn't sitting in. He just had no respect for me. I left and never looked back.

If you're pooling finances I'd get a cleaner in and accept you're going to be picking up after him and DC forever or leave. I don't think there are any other options.

Dear lord, how many of these threads, seriously! Time after time, a woman complaining about the man doing nothing around the house, and/or very little childcare.
The problem is that he is not listening to you about your concerns. You're going to have to talk to him clearly about being more supportive, and be specific - doing bath time, putting a wash on, doing certain meals. If he has a demanding job, he's still a parent and a partner - you don't get to opt out completely.

OP - this is in "housekeeping" - I wonder if you'd get some helpful responses if you asked for it to be moved to Relationships or Chat?